Berlusconi Hires Belgian-American Muscleman

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So, Team America Fighting defender Oguchi Oneywu is joining Silvio Berlusconi’s henchmen at AC Milan. This qualifies as a surprise, given that Oneywu—who played well in the small-frites Belgian league and shows flashes of brilliance (as opposed to his constant supply of brawn) in the USA backline—was previously linked to the usual succession of aspirational midtable Premiership clubs. (Honestly, if you were a player and someone asked you “Quick—would you rather join Aston Villa or Everton,” would you be able to make a sufficient distinction between them to give a sensible answer?) 

I’m no fan of the Rossoneri (rather the opposite), but it is cool to see an American player sign on with one of the true SuperClubs. The difference between playing for a team that hopes, hopes, hopes to make the Europa League and a team bloody well expected to challenge for the Champions League crown is enormous, and should do wonders for Oneywu’s sharpness and preparedness for next year’s World Cup. If, that is, he makes the first XI with any regularity—and, as a bonus, if he does, that will mean that Alexi Lalas will no longer be the most prominent American defender in Serie A history. And that would be a good thing.