VH1’s ‘Millionaire’ murder suspect

First, we had the Octomom. Then there was the whole Jon & Kate debacle. And don’t even get me started on the ongoing American tragedy that is Heidi and Spencer. But finally — finally! — there’s a scandal shocking enough to warrant the removal of a reality show.

Leave it to VH1 to provide us with the biggest trainwreck to hit the airwaves: One of the network’s Megan Wants a Millionaire contestants, Ryan Jenkins, is a suspect in his wife’s murder. Crazy, right? Who would have thought that a grown man who willingly whored himself out for the sake of a classless attention-seeker might be a little, oh, I don’t know, mentally unstable? To be perfectly honest, I’m shocked that this hasn’t happened sooner.

When it comes to reality shows, it takes a certain type of person to actively seek out a starring role in these prime time disasters. One has to be willing to sign over his or her life in the name of love, money or 15 minutes of semi-fame. But Megan Wants a Millionaire is a special show, because it recruited men who were successful in monetary terms yet desperately wanted a chance to date Megan Hauserman, the appalling Rock of Love reject with a mentally handicapped dog. Clearly, something’s off here. The VH1 executives had a fine group of gentlemen on their hands, from Donald, the senior citizen who proudly quoted Lady Gaga upon his rejection, to Joe, the trust fund baby who is very obviously gay (and everyone seems to know it except Joe himself). But Ryan Jenkins is a whole new breed of reality TV psycho.

So now, with a murder investigation underway and a suspect on the loose, the network is forced to handle a situation that has yet to arise in the history of reality television: It has to “postpone” (cancel) the rest of the Megan Wants a Millionaire season. It’s a shame, too, because I was thoroughly enjoying wasting my Sunday evenings watching these rich idiots. But there’s really no other way out in a scenario like this. We just have to hope that, from now on, casting directors attempt to stray away from the crazy — sure, it’s good for ratings, but it’s gotten out of hand.

In the meantime, I’ll be contemplating what it says about my judgment that I had picked Ryan as my favorite from episode one.