Taking the gay out of figure skating
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Sequins are out, sweat is in. That’s the message Skate Canada, the governing body for figure skating in the country, apparently is sending out in advance of the 2010 Olympics in Vancouver, B.C.
According to an ABC News report, officials want to make men’s figure skating in the Olympics more macho in order to appeal to hockey fans and boost television ratings. They don’t want to see men wearing frilly outfits. More masculine attire is preferred, with the focus on athletic jumps over artistry in routines.
“They’ve got to really showcase that male skating is really about masculinity, strength and power,” Canadian figure skater Elvis Stojko, who earned silver medals in the 1994 and 1998 Winter Olympics, said in the story.
Having covered hockey for years, I can tell you the only way figure skating will appeal to hockey fans is if performers compete on the ice at the same time and crash into each other while simultaneously completing quadruple jumps.
So it’s probably a futile effort from the start. And it might be a not-so-subtle snub to figure skating’s fan base.
“Stereotypically, figure skating is kind of gay… gay men tend to be more attracted to figure skating than the average straight male in the United States,” Cyd Zeigler, co-founder of Outsports.com, a Web site devoted to the gay sports community, told ABC News. “They see it as a slap in the face.”
No word if Skate Canada has run the idea past Brian Orser or Toller Cranston for commentary. Orser is a two-time Olympic silver medalist and eight-time Canadian champion. Cranston won the bronze medal in the 1976 Olympics.
According to Outsports.com, Orser and Cranston — two of the most decorated figure skaters in Canadian history — also happen to be gay.
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Talk about a re-branding effort!
Speed skaters are much hotter!
Bet they could increase ratings if they put more gay in. Lots of sequins, lots of ’snaps,’ it could be the greatest gayest show on earth. Have Ellen Degeneres doing color commentary with David Ogden Stiers (newly out). Clay Aiken could sing the National Anthem. And, depending on the day, maybe a cameo from Lindsay Lohan. Who wouldn’t watch all that?
Sounds like that would make a great Rosie O’Donnell variety show! On second thought …
In response to another comment. See in context »*gets queasy at all the flying stereotypes flying about*
I don’t mock the stereotypes, I embrace them as Mr. Ziegler did. But I see how it could be viewed differently. Point taken and apologies given.
In response to another comment. See in context »I would’ve loved to have been there for the first meeting when someone got up and said: “ok, how do we make figure skating less gay?”
This is New Coke in the making. They’re rebranding male figure skating by subduing its most entertaining facet. For shame.
Hmmm…Canada is taking probably the gayest sport around and trying to make it butch? That is what makes skating so much fun to watch–the glitter! The costumes! The sequins! The bitchery! They are taking away the heart and soul of this wonderful sport!
Ok, so how do you make figure skating “less gay”? For starters, male skaters would not be allowed any sequins, rhinestones or ruffles on their costumes. Designer costumes would be disqualified and the Kiss of Death for any male skater. Put everybody in those waiter outfits that they worn back in the days of Dick Button. Or maybe have everybody dress like construction workers, lumberjacks or martial artists. You can’t get more butch than that, right? (Though the Village People managed to make Uber Butch outfits look Uber Gay.) Eliminate all balletic or “soft, fluid, supposedly “feminine” movements; in fact get rid of all choreograhy and make men’s figure skating into a jump fest and who-can-spin-the-fastest-without-throwing-up contest. Keep the technical score but get rid of presentation marks; instead have “Machismo Marks”. Machismo marks would judge how butch a program was. So if a skater incorporates grunts, burps and farts into his program, can you imagine the GOE’s he’d get for his Machismo score? Crotch grabbing and hawking a looey on the ice would also get those needed bonus points, especially after the halfway point in the long program. Or perhaps turn men’s figure skating into Pro Wrestling On Ice.
O Canadaaaahhhhhh!
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