Tomb Raider Movie Reboot Getting Younger Lara Croft

Why look, it's my desktop wallpaper from 1998!

Batman did it, Star Trek did it, and now Tomb Raider is doing it?  The “it” being the movie industry’s latest buzzword “reboot,” where a franchise that has long gone stale starts over again with a completely fresh face. The new Tomb Raider film promises a (completely necessary) origin story and a younger Croft. Producer Dan Lim explains:

“We’re rebooting Lara Croft…It’s a great origin story that we’re going to tell, a very character-oriented, I would say more realistic than the past Lara Croft movies…It’s not full-on action. I would say it’s like Terminator, it’s character driven action. For me, the Lara Croft games and movies have gone a little too action-oriented. I wanted to have action, but with character.”

Yeah, because if the Tomb Raider series is anything, it’s “character driven” and totally not “Angelina Jolie’s padded bra-driven.” Speaking of Angelina, she’s presumably out of the part as even though she is many things, a teenager isn’t one of them. This means presumably we’ll see a lesser known actress step up to the role, though I’m guessing Jolie is too busy getting nominated for Oscars to go back for a third try of what many have dubbed (namely me) one of the worst action series of our time. People have been talking about Megan Fox as a possible stand-in, but her questionable acting abilities aside, I think this would actually be a step down for her. Plus, I think she’d have a problem with the water balloon filled bra they’d force her to wear.

So can a “reboot” make the Tomb Raider franchise suck less? In a word, no. I’m going out on a pretty daring limb here to predict that the Tomb Raider prequel will not be the first video game to break the genre’s awful movie curse. Call me a realist I suppose.

However, this in no way means that I will not go see Tomb Raider: Origins starring water ballooned Megan Fox. I am a guy after all.

[via Kotaku]