When sorry specimens say they’re sorry

So John Edwards has finally come clean. Big surprise–18 months since the tabloid Enquirer broke the story of  his affair with campaign worker Rielle Hunter, and the infant she was toting around, Edwards has admitted Frances Quinn Hunter is his child. “It was wrong for me to ever deny she was my daughter,” the onetime presidential candidate told NBC, adding, “To all those I have disappointed and hurt, these words will never be enough, but I am truly sorry.”

Cynics would point out that the confession, and apology, only come now, with his back to the wall: A new book by Andrew Young, the aide who bizarrely claimed to be Frances’ father to cover for his boss, is set for a February 2 publication–and a media onslaught this week.

There’s no doubt that Edwards, currently doing penance by building houses in El Salvador and accompanying Sean Penn on a celebrity mission to Haiti, is sorry, but probably more for himself than his family or former political supporters. And lucky for him, apologies are the hot new trend. Not only did former Time Warner CEO Jerry Levin recently apologize for sending that company into a downward spiral thanks to the boneheaded AOL merger, but on the web, less renowned guilt-ridden souls are reaching out to those they wronged many years ago–no matter how slight the trespass:

Along with helping people reconnect with old flames, childhood friends and even long-lost relatives, the Internet is giving rise to a newer phenomenon: the decades-late apology. The Web allows us to converse by email, a form of communication that often makes us braver and more impulsive—and occasionally even more thoughtful—about what we say. There are even Web sites, such as ThePublicApology.com and PerfectApology.com, dedicated to facilitating our quest for absolution.

Why Everybody Is Apologizing Now – WSJ.com.

Yep, we are now one big I’m-sorry-ing culture! And if we can forgive that schoolyard bully, or guy who never called again, why not give a pass to a man who ran for president covered in a blanket of lies, who risked dealing a fatal blow to his party to cover his own pathetic dalliance?

Maybe, when considering whether to forgive Edwards, we should see if he passes  WSJ reporter Elizabeth Bernstein’s test of a sincere and useful apology:

1) Make sure you are apologizing for the sake of the other person and not yourself: DOUBTFUL. If Edwards truly had his family’s well-being in mind, he would have stepped forward months ago, and not prolonged the damaging news cycle.

2) Resist sending an apology via a social-networking site: FAILED. Okay, so NBC is not a social network. But you get the idea.

3) Ask how your actions afffected the other person. PASS/FAIL. John must certainly know how the affair and the coverup affected Elizabeth and his children, but how about the Democratic party? The entire voting populace?

4) Be sincere: DOUBTFUL.

5) Try to apologize in a timely manner: FAILED. And here, Edwards might take a cue from AOL-TW CEO Jerry Levin who, even as he apologized 10 years later, admitted,  “it’s a little too late.”