Get Gwyneth’s Body for Only $33 A Day!
You too can look like this!
DeNiro has his restaurants, Joan Rivers her jewelry, Britney her perfume, Brad Pitt his soap, P. Diddy his duds, Jay-Z his clubs…and now, Gwyneth Paltrow has her gym.
Already the subject of much raucous ribbing because of her blog, GOOP.com, in which she advises our recession-ravaged nation on designer trends, weight-shedding “cleanses” and the top European hot spots, the enterprising Iron Man star this week opens the Tracy Anderson Method Studio in lower Manhattan.
And why not? Paltrow has one of the world’s most amazing bodies–for which she credits her trainer, Tracy Anderson. “I really never thought that, at 36, after two children, I could look better than I ever had,” she told USA Today shortly after a Tonight appearance in which she instructed Conan O’Brien on how to build up his butt.
For that engagement, Paltrow herself was decked out in a microminidress crafted to showcase her curiously glowing–shall we say greasy?–legs. Indeed, the effect was so stunning, it provoked “legsandfeetman” to post a You Tube video, cleverly entitled, “Gwyneth Paltrow showing off her shiny smooth legs on Conan O’Brien Show.” Advised legsandfeetman, who is apparently an expert on such grab shots: “I was hoping she would crossed [sic] her legs but she didn’t.”
And now–those legs can be yours! Or rather, your legs can be like those. Paltrow, who is delightfully down-to-earth when discussing the domestic adventures of husband Chris Martin and kids Apple and Moses, plans to help Tracy Anderson “bring her method to more people.”
Unfortunately, the “more people” will have to be more rich people: The initiation fee at the Tracy Anderson Method Studio is $1500; monthly membership fees are $900.
And what perks do such fees purchase? Private readings of Shakespearean sonnets by the actress? Front row seats at Coldplay concerts? Cappuccino with Anderson’s other star client, the scarily sinewy Madonna?
Probably not, but you will get a customized workout that changes every 10 days.
And if you’re lucky, Gwyneth’s gams.
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This being celeb- and appearance-obsessed Manhattan, there no doubt will be some takers–even during a time when too many people are exercising their gams by pounding the pavement.
I suspect, though, that Gwyneth will experience what the Yankees and Mets did when they tried to sell luxury boxes and premium seats: There isn’t as much stupid money around as there used to be. So she will do what they did: cut prices. For only $450 a month (that’s $16.50 a day!), you’ll be able to have one leg look great. Best foot forward now!!
“Paltrow has one of the world’s most amazing bodies”
…I disagree. She’s pale, bony and gaunt in the face. I’m not blaming it on her exercise routine, or her macrobiotics or anything in particular. I’m just saying, I hope that’s not the cultural ideal women hope to see in the mirror. Then again, sadly, it probably is.
Well, Katie, pale is a good thing! No skin cancer! Don’t know if there’s an up side to bony and gaunt…but I think she looks pretty damn good! Who do you think is an ideal? (I idolize Meryl Streep, but that’s because she’s, like, normal.)
In response to another comment. See in context »I dont know if anyone should idolize someone for the way they look, but even if that is your thing, shouldnt you be worried that Paltrow works out every day and has no muscle? The only way to accomplish that is to eat too little so your muscle mass doesnt increase.
In response to another comment. See in context »Peter are, you sure she has no muscle tone? Looks pretty muscular to me. And in Gwyneth’s defense, I think she does eat. Probably not as much as, say, me…but she doesn’t look starved.
In response to another comment. See in context »This is embarrassing to admit, but I get the GOOP newsletter and enjoy it. The most recent one included several high-fat cookie recipes – I guess Gwyneth needs that gym to work off the calories! Yes, Paltrow (whom I’ve admired since Shakespeare in Love, one of my favorite movies) can be a bit out of touch with us ordinary mortals. But she seems sincere, and she doesn’t give off negative vibes like, say, Kathy Griffin, whom I find funny but sometimes makes me feel like, OK, enough already. Nice has a place in the world, too.
Jane, the high fat recipes probably shouldn’t surprise us–Gwyneth pals around with Mario Batali! I agree she seems sincere, and she can be charming, which is why I can’t come down that hard on her!
In response to another comment. See in context »Personally, I’ve never seen anyone wear WD-40 as a fashion statement but I think Gwyneth pulled it off. And she was squeak-free during the entire interview. Good for you, Gwyn. Honestly, who gives a rat’s ass about the “Tracy Anderson Method” except for out-of-touch people like Paltrow who aspire to own an ass no bigger than a rat. I offer to fellow True/Slanters the “Keithj Method” – take a walk every day and pocket the twelve grand… less 89 cents for a roll of paper towels for grease-free legs.
lucky for me I already have great gams and can spend that money on other things, like rent and coned!