The Far Side’s ‘canine decoder’ becomes a reality
In a future not so far off, dogs will no longer bark. They will tweet.
Yes, that’s right: Soon, puppies all over North America will get their own Twitter pages in what can only be described as the most meaningless and awesome development in human history.
Toymaker Mattel, Inc. will soon be unleashing its very own doggie translation device, lovingly named “Puppy Tweets” (pictured left).
When triggered by sound or movement, it sends a signal to a specialized USB reader plugged into your computer. The included software then posts a translation of your dog’s witticisms to its very own Twitter page.
Attached to a dog’s collar, the plastic tag randomly generates one of 500 canned tweets when it detects barking or movement and automatically posts an update to Fido’s own Twitter page.
A round of woofing could lead to a tweet of “I bark because I miss you. There, I said it. Now hurry home.” A frenzied run through the backyard might garner “I finally caught that tail I’ve been chasing, and . . . OOUUUCHH!”
If you use Twitter on your mobile device, that means your pooch will soon be sending you text messages when it’s hungry. Now you have no excuse.
A similar program developed by Japanese toy maker Takara is also coming to America by way of a new iPhone app. Called Bow-Lingual, it may prove to be a more high end version of what Mattel plans to offer, considering its inventors won a 2002 Ig Nobel Prize for the software.
The console claims to be able to interpret about 200 phrases or words – grouped in six different emotional categories: fun, frustration, menace, sorrow, demand and self-expression.
… [The] device then randomly selects a human phrase to go along with the identified emotion.
Bow-Lingual’s creators say their invention is compatible with some 50 different varieties of dog.
The Bow-Lingual iPhone app will also have Twitter support, but as far as I could tell it requires users to post their canine’s monkeyshines on their own.
Even if though it’s not exactly an accurate translation and only delivers a rough idea of a dog’s emotional state, I want one. That’s Neat.
My only other thought: Gary Larsen, creator of The Far Side, was more than just a little bit ahead of his times.
Woof.
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