Rush Limbaugh goes over the moon with new conspiracy

Right-wing radio kingpin Rush Limbaugh must think he’s locked in a dead-eye game of one-upsmanship with Glenn Beck for the crown of crazy.

In a stunning, breathless rant during Thursday’s show, Limbaugh claimed NASA’s mission in search of water on the moon is really a trial run for the 30,000-pound “Massive Ordnance Penetrator” bomb being developed by the Department of Defense.

And this, coming from a man who feels those who question the official theory of the 9/11 attacks are “kooks” in need of “rehab.”

Then again, he would know a thing or two about rehab.

But this diatribe is enough to leave the most jaded, conspiracy-hardened David Icke fan with glazed-over, reptilian eyes.

Responding to one of his callers who suggested that bombing the moon may be viewed as an “aggressive” act by creatures potentially living there, Rush agreed and took the notion 10 steps further, half-way attacking President Obama in the process.

The following is a transcript, copy + pasted directly from Limbaugh’s Web site (yes, even that image), with my emphasis added.

CALLER:  Hey, I want to comment something we don’t hear much about.  We’re getting ready to bomb the moon, and what kind of message does that send not only to the world but to the universe if there is life out there, such — such aggressive action?  It’s really surprising to me. You know, we don’t know actually what is living on the moon.

RUSH:  Let me give you the details of this.  I actually think what this is is a test of the new weapon that… (laughing) I think it’s a test of the new weapon that we learned about yesterday, the Massive Ordnance Penetrator, the MOP. This is a… (interruption) I don’t know, seems like a lot of military weapons sound like tools in a porno movie.  Massive Ordnance Penetrator.” What it is is a bunker-busting bomb.  It’s supposedly being developed to be able to take out Iranian nuke sites 200 feet below ground, and the Pentagon’s working on it and getting ready to deploy it on the B-2 bomber, which is the stealth bomber. So maybe this is a test run for the MOP, the Massive Ordnance Penetrator.  We are going to bomb the moon.  NASA,  Friday, tomorrow, we’re going to bomb the moon, no preconditions, no negotiations!

What did the moon do to us?  Is somebody up there on the moon doing things that only Obama knows about? We’re going to bomb the moon. You know why?  The stated reason for bombing the moon near the South Pole of the moon, is they want to find out if in the explosion, the plume, if there’s water.  It’s an unending quest for life.  ‘Cause we’re all gonna die, you know. Leafy green vegetables, yesterday, were reported to be the number one cause of death now from Center for Science in the Public Interest so we’re all going to have to go somewhere eventually.  And maybe the moon’s a rest stop on the way to Alpha Centauri. (interruption) Yeah.  You would think that Obama would try sanctions first to see if the moon would give us the water.

[SNIP]

We have the vanity that makes us believe that improving our standard of living typified by the kind of cars we drive can destroy our climate, and thus, our ability to live.  We are so vain, we actually think we have this ability, this power. At the same time, we have this massive inferiority complex.  “There have to be other people out there! There have to be other life forms,” and naturally, if there are, they are all 25 billion times as smart as we are — and that’s why we must find them! “Because they have learned how to have peace forever: No war, no bombs, no sickness, no pestilence, no insects, no cockroaches.  They are smarter, wherever they are, than we are, and yet we have such vanity that we can destroy our own planet, and we are in the process so we have to find somewhere else to go, someday, and the moon is an inviting target. It’s relatively close. But the guy’s right.  If there are smarter people than us out there — and, of course, goes without saying they would have to be — and they have brought peace throughout the universe except for earth and we’re bombing the moon, this could set up a retaliatory attack! You know, wait ’til the meteorites organize when they hear about this, folks.

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH:  Steppenwolf: “Rock me, baby. Rock me, baby. All night long.”  Well, the moon is not going to be pristine, but I really think we ought to drop the MOP on Iran and see if there’s any water underneath there.  If we want to find water, let’s drop the MOP on Iran.

Dizzy yet? Let’s bring this space case back to Earth with a few facts on the very legitimate NASA mission and the DoD’s horrifically large bomb.

NASA is not dropping the “Massive Ordinance Penetrator” on the moon. It is smacking our celestial neighbor with a spent rocket weighing some 2.2 TONS, carrying the destructive force equivalent that of 1.5 TONS of dynamite. The spectacular affair is expected to displace some 350 TONS of moon junk and should be visible to pretty much anyone on Earth equipped with a basic telescope.

The massive plume of rock and soil will be examined by scientists in hopes of proving that water exists on the moon. The mission should provide definitive answers to questions raised by India’s groundbreaking lunar swat last month, which revealed that frozen H20 is indeed present.

This is hardly a trial-run for an unprovoked attack on Iran. It’s more like every nerd’s dream come true … Short of, say, getting laid on the flight deck of the USS Enterprise.

Furthermore, the “Massive Ordinance Penetrator” is much bigger than what NASA is about to drop on our cheesy green friend. The MOP, clocking in at 30,000-pounds, will be the largest bomb America has ever used, if we ever get around to doing such a horrid thing. It does not, however, even hold a candle to the “Divine Strake” bomb — a 700 TON behemoth of heavy ammonium nitrate fuel oil emulsion strapped to a 300-pound C4 charge — which was almost detonated on American soil by the Bush administration. It would have been the largest controlled detonation in military history.

Sadly, we cannot all be as insightful as el Rushbo. When that advanced alien race finally gets around to launching its own brand of shock and awe on planet Earth, let us not forget to cry out in despair and humiliation at how wrong we were for not listening to the warnings of such a wide — I mean, wise — man.

For now, and for posterity’s sake, let’s just listen to our C.S. Lewis, Jr. records and get ready to blow up the moon … In a manner of speaking.

(Unfamiliar with C.S. Lewis, Jr.? Watch this …)