True Blood’s 9 Crimes: Just Complicated Enough

Guest blogger Tim Appelo gives his take on True Blood‘s highlight-of-the-season-so-far episode: 9 Crimes.

Not since last season’s bang-up black-eyed zombie sex-orgy finale have folks gone as gaga as they did in this week’s “9 Crimes” episode, the highlight so far of the new True Blood season. Everybody’s blood is up! And just in time: this show desperately needed some new blood. Enough already with Bill Compton’s Old South, gentlemanly, Twilight-ish yearning for Sookie. Now he’s violently tied down by his controlling vampire ex with the Exorcist-ish revolving head, Lorena, and doing his most brutal deed in 178 years: breaking up with Sookie on the phone. “We fucked like only vampires can,” he coldly tells Sookie, who behaves like somebody named Soakie which was Robert Mapplethorpe’s nickname for Patti Smith, because he made her cry all the time. She should’ve coldly told him, “Shouldn’t that be ‘fucked AS only vampires can,’ you illiterate Civil War hick bastard?”

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