Jesse James? You’ve got to be joking.
Jesse James, the prototype.
With occasional check-ups on living works of art who I admire, people such as Keith Richards and Peter O’Toole, I tend to shy away from so-called Celebrity News.
Yet, the Jet-Set Hobo is about to stumble, limp footed, onto the tough and arid terrain of so-called Celebrity Culture. Previous sallies into this territory have included well, attacks, on Madonna, Perez Hilton and English footballers & their wives. The flotsam and jetsam of our nervous era’s murky depths.
Aside from logging onto this site to see what I have to say about things, I actually come here looking for news on important topics. Half of the content instead seems to be ‘writers’; usually people in ther 30s or 40s, seriously discussing things like the state of Jennifer Aniston’s love life. Pretty much all the Jet-Set Hobo could tell you about Jennifer Aniston is that she seems like a grand girl with nice hair but most of the movies and shows she is in seem to be, well, unadulterated tripe.
This is about as much as I could’ve told you until recently about Sandra Bullock. Oh, now I remember something. I think probably the last film she was in that a GROWN-UP would go and see, was Capote. As in Truman Capote. She was good, ’surprisingly good’ I suppose. Aside from that, what I know about Bullock, is that she is a gamine and personable actress who was in some big action films back in the 90s and a bunch of allegedly romantic, allegedly funny ‘romantic comedies’.
While her personable qualities have never been in doubt, I’ve never taken much interest in her private life, and in all honesty I can’t imagine anyone with an IQ over 110 wanting to do so.
Now because I’m not a serious journalist, just a lush with a soap box, I might be tainted by idealism here. But it is slightly disappointing to find supposedly ’serious’ journalists on True/Slant earnestly discussing the breakup of her marriage, on what I thought was meant to be a fairly ‘wonky’ op ed news site. (I realise my own blog is a total anomaly in this context, but bear with me, there is room for one exception to the rules, n’est pas?)
But then we come to an aspect of Sandra Bullock’s marriage break-up that was previously unknown to me. That Sandra Bullock is being cheated on by a dude, who, at best, looks like a bouncer outside a ‘high class’ lap dancing club. And at worst, like the assistant manager at a Harley Davidson dealership. Previous history? High profile relationships with porn stars. Really? Well, he sounds just immediately like suitable marriage material doesn’t he? Walking piece of panel van art admiring, mullet haircut & facial sporting paragon of bad taste that he would appear to be. The Jet-Set Hobo was really rather shocked, in as much as anyone as worldly as he could be.
I mean to say, is that the best the poor lass could do? Someone around here would have gladly stepped into the breech if the pick of chaps in Beverly Hills is really that dire these days. Anyway, that was just about as much energy as I can be arsed (bothered) expending on any given week on the detritus of celebrity news.
Clearly however, several of my fellow True/Slanters feel rather differently. Sitting at the top of the site not long ago was for example the headline, ‘Is Liam Neeson the new Mel Gibson’? I mean honestly. Really. ‘Is Liam Neeson the new Mel Gibson’?’ What kind of question is that? I suppose they both look good in a kilt. Liam Neeson’s Scots accent is a bit more convincing than Gibson’s, but that wouldn’t be difficult. What I’d like to know, is what sane, enlightened person sits around asking themselves questions like that in a serious tone of voice.
There seems to be plenty more where that came from. The other day I came across a story here which was a song-by-song critique of all the contestants on American Idol’s sad attempts to emulate Rock’s greatest carny act, the Rolling Stones. This, excuse me, not by a 9 year old, but a middle-aged man. It’s not so much how much spare time do you have, but what the hell are you doing with your spare time, if this is all you have to talk about. Either get outdoors, read a book or even go to a goddamn bar, but get your head out of the celebrity culture intellectual wasteland and, in the parlance of our times, GET A LIFE.
Anyway, I don’t know about you, but I’m going for a walk. I may be some time.
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It may seem an odd occupation for a globe-trotting, nightlife loving bachelor, but over the last few months, I’ve been writing a children’s book called The wild cats of Piran. It’s about a colony of feral cats who live in a small medieval town on the Adriatic sea. The book is intended to appeal to very bright 9 year olds and up. The sort of thing a bookish, cat loving adult could enjoy whipping through in a long afternoon sitting in a snug armchair by an open fire. A great believer in letting the work speak for itself, if you’re at all interested, I suggest you contact the author directly, 
If everybody did that, how the hell would I earn a living?
I don’t know. Doing something even vaguely more useful? What are you good at, aside from focussing on garbage?
In response to another comment. See in context »Big talk from Mister Kieth Richards is Sober … Oh Wait…
In response to another comment. See in context »There’s a big difference. I don’t make a living out of reporting on celebrity culture. And anyway you didn’t answer the question.
In response to another comment. See in context »Why don’t you read my blog? It’s not about celebrities, per se: it’s about the fame machine and the force it exerts in the world for good and for ill. My latest post is about the poor Swedish Paralympic curler who got banned from competition for two years because he was 54 years old and the doctor prescribed him a blood pressure medicine that was banned.
And in fact, I make most of my living teaching social media for empowerment to the marginalized in the inner city. At least, I do when there the retraining agencies have any money.
In response to another comment. See in context »It’s : N’est-ce pas ? your IQ is over 110 ? are you sure ?
It’s 111. But n’est pas or n’est-ce pas, I don’t think it invalidates what I’m saying in this piece.
In response to another comment. See in context »Scott,
Excellent piece! Intelligently calling out the destructive, vapid banality of celebrity “culture” is the first step on the road to recovery of the American culture.
I would strongly encourage you to take the analysis much deeper. Most people fail to see the connection between our glorification of celebrity “culture” and the broad destruction of the once strong American culture. Specifically, the culture that embraces the “cinema” of Jennifer Aniston, Sandra Bullock, Matthew Mcconaughey, ‘The Rock’ et al is incapable of the intellectual, spiritual and creative qualities required to reject and defeat crackpot ideas such as trillion dollar baillouts for Wall Street criminals, trillion dollar wars “on terror” or corporate “health care” which rewards companies for denying medical care to citizens. One precludes the other. Celebrity “culture” is, as stated by author Chris Hedges, the revels of a dying American culture. It is the mentally and spiritually ill “culture” of mouth-breathing consumerism, easily tricked again and again by the low-brow antics of the marketing department. It expresses itself in the childish language of cynicism and sarcasm often confused with wit and the breathless squinting and mumbling which passes for acting. Calling out “writers” for focussing on garbage is the right thing to do. I look forward to your next piece!
Regards,
Mathew Thomas
Thanks Mathew, and Lorraine, I have had a better look at your blog. And yes, there is obviously a lot more to it than just celebrity fluff. Still… “Team Sandy”? But perhaps my rant was just that, a rant. Road rage on the information superhighway. As Mathew’s comment shows, there are an awful lot of us just sick to death of this crap. It’s not journalism, it’s really not entertainment, it certainly has no resemblance to art. I’m calling it what it is: unadulterated arse gravy.
In response to another comment. See in context »JSH, I’m’ frantic. Which article had your posts from Facebook? You said I could have one and now I can’t find them! Thanx
Did I? Er, I’m not sure. http://trueslant.com/scottyoung/2009/06/17/a-facebook-status-update-but-not-from-hell/ Do you mean this?
In response to another comment. See in context »