Keith Richards quits drinking…
Jet-Set Hobo reels in shock.
‘Sir’ Mick Jagger accepting a knighthood and becoming a gym junkie was one thing. Ron Wood making a fool of himself over nubile Russians is another. All too predictable. Jagger always was the business man of the group, and Ron, well, he’s your true sex-addicted satyr. And fair play to ‘em both. Far be it for me to ridicule a man because of his vices.
But according to both The Guardian and The Sun, the man famous (among other things) for being surgically attached to a bottle of Jack Daniels has finally kicked the sauce, and has been teetotal for at least four months.
You’ll know if you check the links, that the Sun and the Graunian headlines are a couple of weeks old. I only found them because, bored, I was led there by not particularly interesting story about that puppyish hero-worshipper Johnny Depp making a film about another of his bad boy role models.
Still, I don’t know how I can have missed this staggering development, unless I was, well, pissed at the time. As in pissed drunk, my American readers. But there you are. The man whose commitment to growing old disgracefully seemed never to be in question, has apparently embraced sobriety, and found it surprisingly refreshing, like a crisp Chablis. Or not, as the case may be.
Not that I’ve been doing much boozing, this week at any rate. You can well imagine that, especially after the Lebanon, my first week back in dear old Blighty, was awash in ale and red wine. ‘Soho, how I love you, how I love you, my dear old Soho’… But early one morning this week, after sloshing back a bottle of Jack Daniels, I fell out of a coconut tree and cracked my head open. Not quite. I was fumbling around for some aspirin in the half darkness, when I slipped, skidded, crashed, and broke the big toe on my left foot. After a fair bit of procrastination, I went to the A&E section of Britain’s over-extended National Health Service, where they gave me a crutch, some painkillers and told me to invest in a pair of comfortable shoes.
And now this …sobering news. It’s the thin edge of the wedge, I can tell you.