Mr. Torn, will you please be my new grandpa?

Image by Getty Images via Daylife

I’ve been to Salisbury, CT, several times. It’s a beautiful place, very quiet, rural, and wooded. If you’re going there to chill out for an autumn weekend, it’s perfect.

But there’s minimal nightlife. Not much action at all, really. The winter bar scene, however, really gets hopping when 78-year-old Rip Torn is in town, as he was last Friday night (did he skip Sundance?!): 

State police responded to an alarm at the Litchfield Bancorp building in Salisbury, CT at 9:40 PM last night. Police say they found Torn “with a loaded revolver” and he was “highly intoxicated.” Law enforcement sources tell us Torn gained access through a broken window, which they believe Torn broke himself. Torn was taken to the Troop B barracks in North Canaan and is being held on $100,000 bond.

Torn must have run out of beer money sooner than expected and needed to get to the bank. I’ll be you he’s so old-school he doesn’t use ATMs.

Torn is supposed to be in court today, and one of the charges levied against him is “carrying a firearm while intoxicated.” But, to paraphrase Sam Kinison, how are you supposed to get the gun home from the bar? In the birth state of Sam Colt, you think there’d be some dispensation for seniors, especially when they run out of money. 

Torn has a house in Salisbury, and he likes a strong cocktail when he’s home. In December 2008, he was arrested for apparently driving drunk with a Christmas tree tied to the top of his car. Hey, at least he was in the season, no? I’m sure the involvement of a Christmas tree led to additional charges in the statute-laden Nutmeg State. 

I wonder what Torn used to smash his way into the bank, and what his pistola of choice could be? (See Update 2 below).

Clearly, this is an elder fellow who needs a minder of sorts — someone in his twenties who enjoys a little adventure now and then but also has the upper-body strength to restrain The Ripper when the great actor is in full form. 

Think of the buddy-movie potential.

UPDATE: The NY Post reports this morning that when the cops arrested Torn, after finding him lying on the floor of walking around inside the bank, the actor reportedly claimed he thought he was already home. See — it’s all a silly mix up with the bank address. 

UPDATE 2 (Feb. 2): First of all, a correction: The Hartford Courant says Salisbury has a “fast night life that eases the boredom of long winters,” and Gothamist.com carries a quote from a resident who speaks of “the town’s active winter bar scene.” I’ve missed out on this nightlife, given my visits to Salisbury were in warm weather and I spent my nights outdoors. A research road-trip is clearly necessary now, before the cold weather ends. 

As for Elmore “Rip” Torn, his BAC was 0.203. Lordy! And he had a .22 revolver. I wonder what make? Ruger? Taurus? An old H&R? 

via Rip Torn’s Bank Robbery Arrest Seals His Reputation for ‘Most Drunk Prolific Old Actor’ – rip torn – Gawker.