The media’s ongoing war on single black women
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I have amassed dozens of clips in which I protest whatever the day’s conventional wisdom tells us about my generation – whether it’s how we’re going to ruin the next election; how we’re using social networks to our detriment; or how we’re insufficiently religious. I have an almost knee-jerk reaction to such pieces, since the media has been weirdly fixated on Gen Y and what it perceives as our bizarre social habits and general outlook on life.
But that fixation seems paltry compared with the media’s recent obsession with black women and why, in their view, their love lives are so pathetic. I’m no black woman, but I can’t stomach this peculiar fascination much longer.
Today’s culprit is the New York Times, which announces: “It is a familiar lament of single African-American women: where are the ‘good’ black men to marry?” Again, I don’t intend to speak for black women, but given the crush of stories on this subject, I think that this supposedly “familiar lament” is among newspaper editors, and not African-American women. It goes on to document a recent survey finding:
1 in 5 black men who wed (22 percent) married a nonblack woman in 2008. This compares with about 9 percent of black women, and represents a significant increase for black men — from 15.7 percent in 2000 and 7.9 percent in 1980.
Sociologists said the rate of black men marrying women of other races further reduces the already-shrunken pool of potential partners for black women seeking a black husband.
But the Times is, well, behind the times in uncovering this supposedly terrible problem plaguing black women. Back in December, the Washington Post profiled Helena Andrews, the author of a book about “successful but lonely young black women.” It says:
Andrews writes about what it is like for a young, black woman dating in D.C., trying to find a mate who seems ever elusive. The futile rituals are familiar: the dressing up, the eager cab ride over to the party, the hold-your-breath as you walk in, scanning the room quickly for any looks returned. The mantra sounding in the back of your head: “So-and-so found a man last year at a party like this. Maybe tonight is my night.” Then one by one, the men prove to be disappointments and disappointing: married, uninteresting or uninterested.
Just me, or is this unnecessarily over-the-top in its characterization of black women as somehow defective in the realm of love (as if it were a walk in the park for everyone else)? The Post was so concerned with this defection that it followed up with this piece, detailing how black women would be wise to look outside their race if they ever want to tie down a man:
Single black women with college degrees outnumber single black men with college degrees almost 3 to 1 in major urban areas such as Washington, according to a 2008 population survey by the U.S. Census Bureau. Given those numbers, any economist would advise them to start looking elsewhere.
It’s Econ 101 for the single, educated black woman.
“Black women are in market failure,” says writer Karyn Langhorne Folan. “The solution is to find a new market for your commodity. And in this case, we are the commodity and the new market is men of other races.”
“Nightline” does the Post one better: It not only echoes the paper’s observation that black women’s love lives are a cause for concern, but it offered a roundup of commentators on the issue that reduced what it insisted was a serious problem into a punchline – instead of interviewing sociologists and experts who might be able to seriously consider the topic, the producers trotted out comedians like Steve Harvey. Writing in The Nation, Princeton professor Melissa Harris-Lacewell had a characteristically spot-on critique of the program:
Given the distortions of or absence of black women in most mainstream media outlets we are skeptical that Nightline was primarily motivated by a desire to address the human needs of African American women. Instead, we suspect marriage is a trope for other anxieties about respectability, economic stability, and the maintenance of patriarchy. Which social issue appears on the public agenda is never accidental. In this moment of economic crisis, social change and racial transformation it is meaningful that black women are being encouraged to exclusively embrace traditional models of family and to view themselves as deficient if their lives do not fit neatly into these prescribed roles.
Ultimately, these stories do little more than echo each other’s insistence that black women are an object for our pity, instead of offering any substantive or valuable political or social commentary. But placing a unique blame and shame on black women says much more about the mostly older white men who continue to dominate media management than it does about the women they keep bizarrely attributing blame and shame to with these pieces.
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[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Sara Libby, Kirsten Meyer. Kirsten Meyer said: tv.jpgroom.com : The media's ongoing war on single black women http://ow.ly/17Ci0X [...]
I always find it interesting that those pieces, by and large, are willing to trot out statistics about the prevalence of college educated black men in comparison to women, the statistics on incarceration, and the comparative educational and social successes of black women, but ignore completely the social issues. Our culture has long fetishized black men as the exotic other, emphasizing the sexuality of black male athletes and musicians. On the other hand, Beyonce (whose music I can’t stand) is regaled for her beauty, but is routinely lightened in magazines so that she looks white. Pop culture conditions us to consider “majority” standards of beauty, which hasn’t been kind to famous black women in the recent past.
Ken Mondschein wrote about this phenomenon better than I ever could.
Great post. (I’ll refrain from tritely saying, “You go, girl!”
All good points, Sara. I was also struck by the piece in the Times this morning–haven’t I read it several times before? Is this a slow news day, when we dredge up tired old theories/trends? It’s almost a corollary to the “Supreme Court lesbians” stories….
I believe it is still true that a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.
Great critique. Love the ending.
Their love lives are not pathetic that I can see,BUT their marriage % is.
Black women dont seem to have trouble being laid,They just have trouble getting the man to stay around.
Before any of you Liberals jump up and down,just get the percentage of single black mothers out their compared to all other races.
Very nicely compiled piece. Professor Harris-Lacewell’s quote is not to be under-emphasized: “Which social issue appears on the public agenda is never accidental.” In my opinion, this campaign is more against black men – repeatedly deemed under-educated and ineligible – than it is against black women.
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[...] The media’s ongoing war on single black women – Sara Libby – Ill Communication … [...]
These are not tired old trends they are REAL. It is part of the diaspora whether you folks like it or not. It is related to the breakdown of the family since the late 60’s. All i hear are about these women who are sex and the city types WHERE IS THE VOLUNTEERISM? Why can’t these women find people in church? They are all filed with degrees and the capitlalistic trappings of white society, but guess what-black culture wasn’t built that way and now where are you ; bitter and lonely. SO are you going to change or stay the same? And as for Professor Lacewell who is a lesbian; I am sick and tired of all this patriarchical nonsense. There is a breakdown in intraracial relationships. Stop blaming someone and talk to each other
[...] the cause or perpetuating the stereotype of “lonely black woman”? The Huffington Post, Trueslant.com, The Root and Essence.com have gone so far as to call it a “media attack.”Can the Black [...]