The best (i.e. worst) Levi Johnston tweets

Levi Johnston, photographed for GQ magazine

Celebrity tweets generally have a lot in common. They’re self-promotional. They display a struggle to master basic spelling and grammar (not unique to celebrities, obviously). And they often include commentary on political issues the author is in no way capable of actually comprehending.

No one displays these traits quite so fantastically as Levi Johnston, or LeviJohnston05. Granted, the account does warn that “this account its not nor it will never be verified .. so stop asking …” but I am gonna go ahead and assume, based on the unimaginable stupidity of most of the tweets, that it’s the real deal.

Johnston’s tweets show amazing range: They go from the monstrously offensive (“2 all my BLACK Brothas – KFC to offer free chicken to all U.S. customers on Monday !”) to the undecipherable (“SNL APPEARANCE THIS SAT . .. were you hear it first”).

He goes on the defensive a lot, especially when called a racist (go figure): “my attorney is black-.- I HEART BLACK PEOPLE.–.”

“I think this twitter accnt# its getting way too big for its own good !! too many people are taking my tweets way too literally.”

But he’s also able to poke fun at himself. In posting a picture of an appearance he made with Jon Gosselin, he wrote: “me & Jon gosselin- together at last – yeah , let the jokes rip !!!!” Well, if you insist, Levi: You’re both famous for donating sperm, then using that as a reason to whore yourself out to the media. OK, not so much a joke as a statement of fact.

Some other favorites of mine, in no particular order:

“SKorean woman passes driver’s exam on 950th try ?WTF http://is.gd/4P9Is PROOF THAT ASIANS CAN’T DRIVE !!!!!! ha”

“i FEEL LIKE I’M IN A RAP VIDEO EVERYTIME I COME HERE.. !! WHATS THE DEAL WITH THE TAXI DRIVERS NOT SPEAKING ENGLISH IS IT A LAW AGAINST IT?”

“If a man dies childless, his brother rape his wife,If he refuses,the dead man’s wife is to loosen his shoe & spit in his face. deut25:5-10″