Now they always assumed I meant that I didn’t care what turned them on or was selfish about my own fireworks. Now this might have been true early on…but what I meant was guys no nothing…reaching orgasm for us isn’t really a big deal, I mean it is not complicated…but women…what the fuck do we know…so this confirms it…now if some woman said “Do my eyebrows…”, well that helps out you know and having an extra toothbrush has a completely new meaning…and you can think yourself to an orgasms, well shit so can I, in church, in school…hey of the ten things this is one we can relate to.

Now here’s the thing after a while you find out they talk about things, far more than we do, honest and it gets to you…did she fake it… and soon you find yourself reading those Men’s Health things pleasing woman and Esquire’s “Things you don’t know about woman” article. I mean we get weird trying to figure out the one magic bullet. And now this…

So now we learn ten things we never wanted to know. I mean it was complicated before… but now it seems it is about a pitch…like trying to sell a TV show…its about imagery and story. Good god…are you saying the pick up line could, you know…is important…after all that “just say hello crap”.

Jesus, in junior high school we had to have like an hour of sex education and the lecture always fell to the football coach, who left me with this advise, “Now be careful, cause a woman is not like a regular fire, she’s like an oven, takes a while to warm up and get hot but once heated…well it takes a long time to cool, so ya got to pace yourself and be ready and take lots of vitamins.” Even he didn’t know about eyebrows.

Now overall I have always though chicks are just too complicated to figure out and if you spend like five or six minutes with a group of four or more you will at some point be compared to a dog…well in defense all you womanare like cats…nice kitty, oh you like to be petted, like that spot…yeah, kitty, hey, hey, ouch, shit, you…damn…