Comments on: The Mathematics of Marriage

By: The Mathematics of Marriage « Datarati :: Will Scully-Power :: Data, Analytics & Optimization in the World of Advertising!

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 00:54:48 +0000

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By: The Mathematics of Marriage - discoveradreamgirl.com

The Mathematics of Marriage - discoveradreamgirl.com — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 04:04:28 +0000

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By: Ryan Sager - Neuroworld – Neuropoll: Would you use a marriage equation? - True/Slant

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 13:13:29 +0000

[...] For those who have no idea what this is about, go back and check out The Mathematics of Marriage. [...]

By: Ryan Sager

Ryan Sager — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 15:18:25 +0000

How do younger people have a better excuse for making stupid relationship decisions? Because they’re younger and stupider and less experienced and have no idea what they want, maybe.

Also, a good reason people ought not get married at 21. (not that it can’t work — but looking back at myself at that age, i don’t think i had much idea what would have made a good marriage versus a bad one)

By: Todd Essig

Todd Essig — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 15:12:53 +0000

Oh my goodness! It seems to me that this mathematically interesting exercise in game theory has no (none, zero, zilch) application to real world decisions about marriage for the simple reason that good marriages are made, not found. And marriage-interaction researchers like John Gottman (see The Marriage Clinic) have actually been crafting interesting mathematical models for predicting what works and what won’t in a marriage. One finding is that contempt is like relationship kryptonite–it can destroy whatever is good and strong in a relationship. So, the mathematics of actual marriage suggests that someone who feels their marriage would be settling for less than what they deserve would perhaps be better served by avoiding the institution altogether. Doubt is fine (even inevitable), but the contempt of settling for less because that choice is your statistical best chance is just not workable.

By: Caitlin Kelly

Caitlin Kelly — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 14:58:16 +0000

How do young people have a better excuse for messing up?

By: Ryan Sager

Ryan Sager — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 14:41:06 +0000

Well, I’ve never done the on-again, off-again thing myself. Can’t really get my head around it, I think the same as you.

But people seem to do it all the time — especially young people who probably have a better excuse for messing up.

And not 100% of people have to be willing to backslide to effect these numbers, I would guess.

By: Caitlin Kelly

Caitlin Kelly — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 13:52:56 +0000

It’s a fascinating-if-arrogant/unrealistic assumption you’ll get a do-over for the great gal/guy you passed over a while back in search of a better option. Maybe they’ve actually found someone not only better but, crucially, able to make a commitment to them. However quaint the notion, there are still men and women who believe marriage is a thoughtful choice made, ideally, for life — not some amusing interlude before you head out again on the hunt for all the ones you left behind, the best of which are awaiting their second chance with you. Oy.

As some of us know, we didn’t choose to stay with one guy or marry another for very good reasons, which hindsight only makes even clearer.

By: Eilene Zimmerman

Eilene Zimmerman — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 04:42:47 +0000

Now I know why marriage is so much work… it’s statistically impossible to choose well….

By: andygeiger

andygeiger — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 03:03:51 +0000

Lol – only in New York

You talk this way on dates don’t you Ryan?

Animals have been coupling for hundreds of millions of years… it’s a process whose complexity defies natural logarithms and will be most successfully achieved by application of one’s heart and not brain… Daniel-San.