Eight Reasons Chicago Was Rejected For 2016 Olympic Games
1) Despite city proposals, the Graft Toss, 400-Meter Cash-Stuffed Envelope Delivery and Pothole Hurdles all rejected as Olympic events.
2) IOC committee members confused and frightened by bellowing Oprah Winfrey.
3) In an oversight, Olympic torch runner routed past Mrs. O’Leary’s barn.
4) Frank Gehry design model for Olympic Stadium mistaken for nouvelle cuisine dessert, tragically eaten during presentation.
5) Rio De Janiero thong bikini slide show scheduled after Tinley Park thong bikini slideshow.
6) Selection Committee distracted by rash of YouTube clips of wordless, giggling, hand-rubbing South Side real estate speculators.
7) Plans by Mayor Daley to privatize entire Olympics in a 75-year $1 Billion deal met with disfavor.
8 ) In retrospect, Weiner’s Circle on Clark St. identified as poor choice for exclusive concessions contract.
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[...] Rio De Janiero for acing out Chicago for the 2016 games. Check out a new humor piece on True/Slant: 8 Reasons Chicago Lost The 2016 Olympics. I saw a video clip this morning where a stunned Jesse Jackson lamented that we had “sent our [...]
Now there will be a reckoning, despite King Richard pulling out all the stops with his royal subjects and those that he has helped place in power, it is now for whom the bell tolls. The taxpayers in Chicago will understand this even more when next year’s city budget is prepared, Richard’s subjects in the city council will bear the anger of the taxpayer, as King Richard is going to point blame to all, but himself. The money has been spent, it is all gone. The taxpayer will hear the ringing of the bell; taxes with no end in sight paying for this debacle, property values/ speculation will plummet as the Olympics are going to RIO!
This is hilarious! Great post.