Barack Obama should go back to college and then stay there forever
Hmm, let’s see, what is the Internet calling Barack Obama today? A socialist? A commie socialist? A big fat Muslim? Eh, maybe a gay? No, none of these, sorry! According to important diarrhea reservoir Pajamas Media, today Barack Obama is actually a slimy college student. Name-calling is fun and everything but maybe that is a tad bit harsh? Of course not! Because let’s be real, you are what you are and if Michael Ledeen asks himself, “What Is Barack Obama?” and responds after thinking about it for a second or two with, “Barack Obama Is A College Person,” well, that’s just what he is so don’t complain:
I don’t doubt that our president has his issues–just look at his nutty mother, consider the impact of being abandoned by dad–but I don’t think that just putting Obama on the couch is the best way to understand him.
Put him in the classroom instead. Because he’s the stereotypical American undergrad at a stereotypical Ivy League college in the age of political correctness.
You are probably thinking, “Michael Ledeen is stupid and so are all of the words that he types” but Michael Ledeen is ten million steps ahead of you; he has already debunked all of your crazy conspiracy theories about how Barack Obama isn’t a college student:
As a typical undergrad, Obama loves to talk, and loves to talk about peace and justice. You know, the really important things. His new nuclear policy is right out of a college bull session: “Why don’t we just promise not to use them?” Nukes are bad, ugly things. Doesn’t everyone agree that the world would be better off without them?
These are not the questions that undergrads typically ask each other during “bull sessions.” The most frequently asked question is definitely, “Hi I am underage can you buy me alcohol?” or basically the same thing just framed a little differently like, “Will you drive me to the liquor store and then buy me alcohol I am underage?” or what have you. Nukes? College students do not ask questions about nukes, unless of course they are referring to nuking things, as in, “Will you put my Cup Noodles in the microwave I am underage?” (Cup Noodles is the only thing people eat in college. That and beer.)
The REAL reason Barack Obama belongs in college forever is because he smokes like a chimney, and that fact alone will make him perfect for college and will also provide him with awesome opportunities to run mad game on all of the hott cigarette-smokin’ coeds, the end.
Go back to college, Barack Obama: you smoke cigarettes and you are also a huge socialist so college is the place for you.
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Other than a failed attempt at being clever what is the point of this piece?
Oh BrianBrianBrian, I disagree. This piece is a classic. I hope there is a sequel: What Is Michael Ledeen?
In response to another comment. See in context »Brian, you are a clearly a misanthrope. Not only is this a highly entertaining post, it’s informative as well. Where else on the entire Internet will you learn that Cup Noodles has a Wikipedia entry, with nearly 27 color glossy photographs, albeit without circles and arrows?
HENGHH? Exactly. Learn to love your fellow man, Brian in NYC. You will live a much happier and longer life. You’re welcome.
In response to another comment. See in context »[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Riley Waggaman and Sophie, Sophie. Sophie said: Barack Obama should go back to college and then stay there forever: According to important dia… http://bit.ly/8YYGVc http://www.sophiemaddox.com [...]
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by . said: [...]
Dude the most common question undergrads ask each other is “Can you shut up for a second? You’re gonna wake up this girl I’m trying to have sex with.”
Is a college student any worse than a constitutional law professor?
‘Wingers were fond of calling out Bill Clinton’s ‘college bull sessions’ as well.
It’s a devastating charge, because you can see the vicious cycle at work: first you have an in-depth discussion, and then you make a decision based on that in-depth discussion.
Thankfully W. put a stop to that nonsense, and then everything turned out awesome.
[...] The Internet has called Barack Obama many names, mostly bad names really, but “college student” is by far the most derogatory and hurtful and will somebody please fax this hate to the Wiesenthal Center immediately? [Intern Riley: True/Slant] [...]
I thought the most common question typical undergrads ask each other is, “Who’s got weed?” Least it was when I was in college. That and, “Did you see my weed?” And, “Did you TAKE my weed?” And “I’ll kill you if you finished my weed,” and, occasionally, “Did the goddammed dog just EAT my weed?” and…well, you get the point.
What’s wrong with kids today? Too good for weed, or whatever you’re calling it now?
[...] Courtesy of Riley Waggaman (of Wonkette-interning fame) at True/Slant: [...]
I learn so much about “what the kids are doing these days” from reading your very informative newsletters, Mr. Waggaman.
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