Is your freshman properly cared for? Are you SURE?
Stop doing whatever it is that you are doing and order a Freshman Survival Care Box for someone who needs a lot of toiletries fashionably arranged in a wire garbage can. He/She/It doesn’t even have to be a freshman! Do you know someone who’s trying to survive? Say no more!
So what’s in this freshman emergency survival garbage pail? Hmmmmmm…Perfect Purity ass cream, a glue stick…is that a bag of Quaker Oats Chex mix I see?…glitter pens, Sunny D, a first aid kit, and maybe a bath robe? Oh bother, that bath robe isn’t going to stop the staph infections (that’s what the glue stick is for)!
But WAIT. The freshman wilderness survival care package trash can comes in two convenient sizes, “Fun” and “Magic!” 
A little confusing if you are unfamiliar with the metric system (Magic = 33cm).
Please hurry! Time is of the essence!
Poor freshmen.
Post Your Comment
You must be logged in to post a comment
T/S Members
Log in with your True/Slant account.
You know that the basket is missing? Astro Glide.
Do you know someone who’s trying to survive? Say no more!
Fark it, do they ship to Haiti?