Now you can dress like a prick, from Harvard!
Poor, poor Harvard. Poor Harvard. Lost 30% of its endowment — how will Harvard survive on TWENTY-FIVE BILLION DOLLARS? Poor poor poor poor poor poor Harvard. Poor. That’s you Harvard. Poor. That is why — by the way, you are poor — you had to sell your name to some company that makes seersucker pants. Seersucker jackets. Seersucker trust funds. Seersucker EVERYTHING. The new fancy clothing line will be called Harvard Yard, and if you are a presumptuous asshole, today is your luckiest day.
Trousers starting at $195, shirts at $160 and up, and sportcoats costing $495 have been designed to reflect Harvard’s “quality, heritage and excellence”
via Harvard Licenses Clothing Line Amid ‘Preppy’ Upswing | Bloomberg.
But if you can’t afford a $500 seersucker thong from Harvard Yard, you can always smell Harvard’s farts ($50 a fart.)
Why stop with clothing, Harvard? How about special edition Alan Dershowitz Bulldozers? “For when those Palestinians just won’t leave — now available in seersucker.” Yeah, I said it.
Because it can’t be said enough: American higher education is decadent and depraved.
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Where will these clothes be on sale? They’ll be perfect for fulfilling my annual self-affirming-ultra-coiffe quota.
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