The American Association of University Professors launched a new online journal, The Journal of Academic Freedom. If you manage to separate yourself from that icanhascheezburger rss feed, give it a read. Robert P. Engvall’s take on merit pay and the corporatization of higher education is definitely worth looking at:

Academia is not like corporate America. Rather than lamenting that, we should embrace those differences, realizing that the education of people is an entirely different endeavor than the creation of other, more measurable “products.”

via The Corporatization of American Higher Education: Merit Pay Trumps Academic Freedom | Robert P. Engvall | AAUP Journal of Academic Freedom.

Well said, but … B.A.s are already marketed like bags of Cheetos. Good gravy, Higher education can’t get enough of that sweet corporate lovin’! Sooooooooooooooo professor-types: Enjoy merit pay and all the other crappy ideas concocted by Corporate America Chowderheads. Because come on, measuring “excellence” in higher education isn’t that ridiculous!

From a tipster: “The following is a Purchase College campus-wide email. It explains why my campus smells bad.”

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To: Apartment Residents
From: Office of Residence Life
Date: January 22, 2010
Re: Strong Odor from Airplane De_icer

Many residents from the apartments have noticed a strong scent in the air the past few evenings. Our College health and safety office[r], ************** , notes that the material described has a slightly citrus odor. It is ethylene glycol which is used by the airport to de-ice planes before takeoff. Ethylene glycol is, among other uses, a food additive, so it is non-toxic to humans. The airport does have a recovery system that captures most of the runoff from the deicing procedure. However, any fluid still on the airplane when it takes off blows off onto the airport and the area around the airport.

Blind Brook runs through the airport before it runs through our campus. Accordingly, much of this fugitive emission finds its way to Blind Brook and runs through our campus giving off the smell you describe.

The airport does have a permit to discharge this material (which they really cannot control). The Westchester County Environmental Police have repeatedly investigated this and found them to be in compliance. There really is nothing that we can do regarding this.

Incidentally, an environmental student as part of an internship is investigating pollution in Blind Brook and this is one of the materials he is looking at.

We hope the odor dissipates soon. With warmer temperatures, there will not be any de-icer used. Thank you.

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Wow. This “Blind Brook” sounds like the Ganges, only more delicious-smelling!

Heavens! Have you had the pleasure of experiencing Yale’s zany and courageously campy admissions video? Ohhhh, you must treat yourself:

Not surprisingly, IvyGate took a sizable diarrhea all over this thing. Say what you will, but the video is well produced. What it’s lacking is a compelling story: every good musical must have one!

A few plot suggestions for the next “Why I Chose Yale” musical extravaganza:

1. A grumpy college counselor (played by Rex Harrison) begrudgingly teaches Eliza, a high school senior from a working-class family, how to speak the Queen’s English. Afterward, Eliza goes to a fancy ball and tricks the Yale dean of admissions into accepting her application, even though Eliza only scored a 3 on her AP European History exam but whatever.

2. A Yalie and her young son spend their junior year abroad in Siam, where they dance and sing songs with King Mongkut, because that is what global education is all about, no?

3. Emma Watson takes a tour of Yale, gags profusely, then attends Brown (with original music by Rodgers and Hammerstein).

Also, sixteen minutes? YouTube videos are not allowed to be sixteen minutes, unless they depict a litter of kittens wrestling joyfully on a trampoline. But even then, a stretch.

Also…Does Yale have peanut butter? After watching this video it’s hard to tell. Please elaborate.

Besides that…Good work Yale!

Copy-and-pasted from an al-Qaeda message board:

For too long, academic elites and politicians — both Democrats and Republicans — have oversold us on the necessity of getting a college degree. We have reached the point at which it has become almost un-American to admit that for a sizable number of our young people, college is a waste of time.

According to a growing number of demographers and labor experts, the U.S. soon will be experiencing a severe shortage of skilled workers. Blue-collar baby boomers are retiring, but schools aren’t preparing the next generation to take their place. Our nation needs blue-collar workers — skilled mechanics, machinists, welders, carpenters and electricians, as well as computer, solar and cable technicians, etc. — just as much as it needs college grads.

via ‘If you’ve got a trade, you’ve got it made’ | Mike Rustigan | Los Angeles Times.

Fine, don’t go to college. But you’ll never know Sallie Mae’s gentle touch. Her sweet lies. Her debt-inducing roofies.

Ball’s in your court, “Mike Rustigan,” if that is your real name.

Stop doing whatever it is that you are doing and order a Freshman Survival Care Box for someone who needs a lot of toiletries fashionably arranged in a wire garbage can. He/She/It doesn’t even have to be a freshman! Do you know someone who’s trying to survive? Say no more!

So what’s in this freshman emergency survival garbage pail? Hmmmmmm…Perfect Purity ass cream, a glue stick…is that a bag of Quaker Oats Chex mix I see?…glitter pens, Sunny D, a first aid kit, and maybe a bath robe? Oh bother, that bath robe isn’t going to stop the staph infections (that’s what the glue stick is for)!

But WAIT. The freshman wilderness survival care package trash can comes in two convenient sizes, “Fun” and “Magic!”
A little confusing if you are unfamiliar with the metric system (Magic = 33cm).

Please hurry! Time is of the essence!

Poor freshmen.