The Modern Creed
by Jimmy Haring

I believe in one God,
the Economy, the Almighty,
maker of health and prosperity,
of all that is, seen and unseen.
I believe in one Lord, the Media,
the only prophet of the Economy,
eternally begotten of the Economy,
Economy from Economy, power from power,
true Economy from true Economy,
begotten not made,
of one Being with the Economy.
Through him all desires were made.
For us and for our salvation he came down from Science:
by Holy Technology he became incarnate in the
Virgin Consumer, and was made man.
For our sake he crucified all other prophets;
they suffered death and were buried.
They shall never rise again, in accordance with the Academy;
He ascended into power and is seated at the right hand of the Economy.
He will come again in glory to judge the undeveloped,
and his technocracy will have no end.
I believe in Holy Technology, the Lord, the giver of life,
who proceeds from the Economy and the Media.
With the Economy and the Media he is worshipped and glorified.
He has spoken through the Internet.
I believe in one holy catholic and globalized Democracy.
I acknowledge one entertainment for the cessation of boredom.
I look for the delay of death,
and the progress of the future to come. Amen.

All hail economy, and his prophet, media!
May he reign forever in democracy!
May capitalism, his most perfect will, be everywhere enforced!
May technology, the savior of his people, everywhere increase!
May he come again to judge the undeveloped, and may globalization have no
end!

E-mail: jimmy.haring@my.wheaton.edu

Whereas morality describes the world as it ought to be, economics describes the world as it really is.

There’s no place like home.

Under totalitarian economic systems in which the market is God, it no longer matters whether you believe or disbelieve in the older, pre-capitalist deities. What matters is that you make a profit. So it should come as no surprise that — whether you are trying to win atheism converts to your chosen -ism or -ology on a reality-TV show, or taking children to atheist’s camp — the real winner in both stories is neither faith nor the lack of faith, but capitalism itself.

Amintore Fanfani prophesies from 1935: “It is a vicious circle. A man seeks goods because he no longer believes in a faith that bounded his desires, and he no longer believes because he has experienced the pleasures of possession and influence.”

The sanctification of the real is only possible under digital conditions — in which all of reality has been etherealized by electronic media — which flips the Old Testament God into something of a redundancy.

Doubting Thomas said, “Show me, and I will believe.”
Today’s skeptic simply screams into his cellphone, “Show me the money!”

See Freakonomics for the official dogmatics: “Whereas morality describes the world as it ought to be, economics describes the world as it really is.”

Does advertising imitate life, or does life imitate advertising?

We Report; You Interpret.