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Apr. 7 2010 - 1:05 pm | 937 views | 0 recommendations | 10 comments

In adultery, ‘other woman’ usually takes the blame

Tiki Barber

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By now, most New York City residents have probably seen the front page of the New York Post today and its glaring headline: ‘Tiki Barber dumps pregnant wife for hot blonde.’ In case you haven’t, check out the link to the online story.

Great, add him to the list of recent cheaters – Jesse James, Tiger Woods, you guys are off the hook. Not only did Tiki cheat on his wife, he cheated on his pregnant wife. I hate to say it, because Tiki is a genuinely nice guy, but maybe he should be taken down from the pedestal New Yorkers have placed him on since his ten-year football career ended. No, Tiki Barber is not a god. Yes, he is human.

What really bothers me about the whole article, and especially the comments following it, was that a brunt of the blame falls on the ’sexy former NBC intern Traci Lynn Johnson.’ Correct me if I’m wrong, but she wasn’t the one in the relationship who was married with two kids and two more on the way.

And she’s 23, to Tiki’s 35. (By the way, today is Tiki’s birthday, what a great gift the Post gave him. Nice work, guys.)

But back to the maturity thing. Maybe he should have been the one who knew better. Most 23-year-olds would be thrilled that a football star, local celebrity and Today show correspondent was even looking their way, much less giving them love and attention. I’m not saying Johnson should be assuaged of all guilt in the situation – there was wrongdoing on each side. But Tiki is the one who made the choice to cheat in the first place. Johnson wasn’t married; she wasn’t cheating.

The commenters on the story were particularly harsh on Johnson. One refers to her as a ’status symbol,’ another, an ‘air head.’ A third says that Tiki’s wife, Ginny, ’sooo much better looking than the girlfriend.’ Most biting are comments from a reader only identified only as ‘Middletwn,’ who writes these harsh words directed solely at Johnson.

Gee Traci, I bet your mom is real proud of you now!!! People in Middletown, NY aren’t really all that shocked, big surprise you wrecked his marriage-didn’t you babysit his kids too and were friendly with his wife. Carma [sic] will get you in the end Traci good luck!!!!’

Um, what about Tiki? How is this not just as equally his fault?  I guess shit really does roll downhill.

But maybe this story has deeper implications about our society as a whole. When things go wrong in a marriage and a man strays, it’s easier to blame the younger, ‘air-head’ other woman instead of the philandering man, especially when said man is a local celebrity like Tiki.

Well, played, Post.


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  1. collapse expand

    He was not cheating, he dumped her.

    If this is not open aand honest, what is?

  2. collapse expand

    The common wisdom among many, is that all women are calculating, and all men think with their penis. This is pure bias, of course, but in there can be found some truth.

    It is true that some men will do just about anything for a few minutes of sex, with no thoughts of consequences. However, this happens to women too. The scandals that one sees in schools around the country with teacher-student sex are a classic example of the latter.

    Yes, the tendency is to blame the third party, particularly a female third party. But as time goes on, that notion is changing as well.

  3. collapse expand

    “Johnson wasn’t married; she wasn’t cheating.”

    As a single woman, I really hate this line of reasoning as one up manship in the blame game. She is wrong, period. There are both low lives, end of story.

  4. collapse expand

    Did he initiate the relationship or did she? It’s been my observation that most often it’s the bimbo coming on to the married man. Think of Monica Lewinsky, Rielle Hunter, & any number of other scandals. Absolutely the husband has the obligation to turn her down and if he doesn’t he’s a scumbag. But these girls are typically not innocent victims.

  5. collapse expand

    Nothing is wrong with starting a new family. You don’t start a new family while still being attached to your old one. You don’t sneak around behind someone’s back. If he had divorced before taking up with the 23 year old then I would NOT have a problem. But you don’t leave your pregnant wife to go bang the secretary, especially when he’s been so vocal about other men doing the same thing, including his father.
    Relationships end all the time, but there is a right way and wrong way to END a relationship or marriage. You get OUT before you start cheating.

  6. collapse expand

    Ms. Morgan,

    I did not follow your line of reasoning through your piece. Your argument seems to be that the “other woman” is generally and unfairly targeted when a marriage ends due to cheating by the man. You provide the example of Tiki Barber. You go on to say: “Great, add him to the list of recent cheaters – Jesse James, Tiger Woods, you guys are off the hook.” Tiger Woods got “off the hook”? How do you figure that? Lion Cheetah Woods had so many paramours there was no way that they could all be to blame, if anyone could even get a total tally. Who let Jesse James off of the hook? I am sorry that just makes no sense at all.

    You go on to write:”Johnson wasn’t married; she wasn’t cheating.” WTF? Are you kidding?? Because she was not *also* cheating on her husband that means she is not doing something wrong?

    You may be right that the “other women” gets more blame than the cheating husband but you made the worst imaginable set of arguments for your case.

  7. collapse expand

    I may open a can of worms here, but perhaps female readers enjoy insulting other women more than the man? Women seem to turn on each other with remarkable ferocity. Remember all the horrible things written about Rihanna after Chris Brown assaulted her?

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    An Ohio native, I'm currently a journalism graduate student at NYU. I've been published in media outlets such at The New York Daily News, Livewire, Pavement Pieces, US Weekly and the Record-Herald.

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