|Contributor since:||May 2009|
My first name is pronounced like Eliot without the “it,” my last name is pronounced like the Crystal I don’t have the “M”oney to afford. I’m an editor of Above the Law, a legal website that covers all of the gossip and business of the legal profession. Prior to that I wrote about politics. I used to be a lawyer, but I quit that profession in lieu of stripping naked and lighting myself on fire. I received a degree in Government from Harvard University because I enjoy pain, and a J.D. from Harvard Law School because I dislike change. I’m also a Met fan (pain + born in Queens).
I’m African-American thanks to my maternal grandmother (which means there is one word I can use that white people can’t. Mwahaha). My father is from Haiti and my wife is from Zimbabwe, but outside of the northeast corridor I turn into a sniveling idiot. My maternal grandfather is from China, so I can make fun of Chinese-Americans ¼ of the time. It’d be great to go a whole year without embarrassing my mother, as Julia might say “Ye Gods, can that woman wait.”
I'm Known For...
Talking very loudly.
My Greatest Achievement
Whatever the hell I did that made my wife fall in love with me.
I Truly Respect
Matt Stone & Trey Parker
Moments I'd Like To Forget
I don't remember. Tequila is a full service friend.
How I Pay For This Wardrobe
If my wife is going to wear the pants, she might as well buy them.
Things That Really Happened
I wrote a 14 page Environmental Law final paper when I friend told me about the deadline 3 hours before it was due.
Commenters. Bring it.
My Other Website
Above the Law
What I'm Currently Addicted To...
This Is Annoying Me...
The Recession. Seriously, I am straight up bored with being economically terrified all of the time.
This Is Making Me Worry...
This Is Bringing Me Joy...
This Is Helping Me Create...
This Is Making Me Think - Hard...
The Republican Party doesn't really think it can win national elections by just appealing to white people, right? I mean, they know this now don't they?
Bill Simmons. Skip Gates. Keith (Olbermann & Hernandez).
My Secret Ambition
I'd like to be Pope for 36 hours. I could fix it.