Let’s be honest about so-called ’serial abortions’
Members of the Westboro Baptist Church opposite supporters of Dr. George Tiller at his June 6 funeral in Wichita, Kansas.
In the days following the murder of George Tiller, Andrew Sullivan has been posting mail from readers who had late-term abortions. For the most part, these accounts are profoundly moving. But my BS detector went into Code Red on this post about so-called serial abortions. A woman writes that her husband had a chromosomal defect and that she went to the ER after her fourth miscarriage to get a D and C (the procedure that scrapes fetal tissue from the uterus, either after a miscarriage or to perform an abortion). This patient claims to have been waiting in the ER when another woman barged in and demanded an abortion, announcing to the gathered masses that she needed the procedure immediately and that she knew they could serve her in a heartbeat because she had already had six abortions in the past. That’s akin to someone barging into an auto repair shop and demanding to be served out of turn, because she had already had six flat tires, and damn it, they were easy to fix and she ought to be served first. Read: Fictional woman using abortion as birth control. Bring out the morality police.
I hate to challenge a story that is so sensitive, that of a woman who is struggling to have a child and is suffering recurring miscarriages. But I have been that woman. I have had four miscarriages and have had the procedure she describes four times. One of these involved twins, so I’ve lost five babies. I had four D and Cs. Not one of them was performed in an emergency room. They were all arranged, in advance, by either a reproductive endrocrinologist or a perinatologist. I imagine anyone who has had the genetic counseling this writer claims to have had would have been under similar care. The only reason she would have been in the ER would have been if she were bleeding profusely and needed immediate attention. D and C procedures after a miscarriage are usually not emergencies. And as far as I know, there aren’t any ERs that offer abortion on demand. This story, while moving on a personal level, defies belief. I’m astonished that no one has challenged its veracity.
Maybe that’s because so many believe that abortion is routinely used as birth control. It is, by some, but not by many. But it is an insult to those of us who have suffered miscarriages and who, despite the psychic pain, still believe in a woman’s right to choose what to do with her body. Let me tell you, I have sat in doctors’ waiting rooms knowing that I had dead embryos in my uterus, and I have hated every single fertile woman sitting there with a beautiful swollen belly, the lovely Madonnas reading Parent Magazine or talking on their cellphones about what color to paint the nursery. I have woken up groggy after the surgery, sick to my flat stomach. I have laid on the table for an ultrasound and been told by a technician that there were two sacs, and in the course of a few seconds, I have envisioned two infants, seen their toddlerhood, walked hand in hand with them through the park, chosen my dress for their weddings, and booked my tickets to Oslo for their Nobel Prize ceremonies. And then seconds later, I lay there, legs splayed in the stirrups, while the tech ran to get the doctor because there was something “wrong” with the ultrasound.
So don’t tell me I don’t understand the agony of a D and C. But at the same time, I know the difference between a woman who has invested her hopes and dreams in a few cells and a woman, maybe 16 or 18 or 22 years old, who sees her entire life being derailed by those same few cells. Those are different experiences. Years ago, before I had my kids and my life was defined by attempts to conceive, I resented the folks who conceived as if by will. But I never once changed my opinion about the right to choose.
I have had friends who have suffered through agonizing choices and experiences. One friend had a baby die in utero at six months. Rather than carry the dead fetus until she went into labor, she had to walk through a police line and enter a secret hospital door, full belly exposed to the protesting masses, so that she could spend hours of induced labor to deliver the baby she already knew had died. Did she really have to endure the venom of the “pro-life” protesters? What a double whammy to her unfathomable grief.
Two other friends chose to terminate fetuses with anaencephaly, a condition that is incompatible with life. Mercifully, they were able to receive care without protestations from strangers, and one even had the kindness of a doctor who was researching the condition and had the compassion of a saint.
The posts on Sullivan’s blog all begin with the title “It’s so personal.” Indeed, it is. And now that I am a mother, I am working to respect and understand the multitude of beliefs about abortion. But it doesn’t help to sensationalize the issue with accounts that defy reality. Women don’t march into the ER demanding “serial abortions.” Women suffering miscarriage usually don’t find themselves in the ER, either. So let’s be honest in our discussion, and let’s not dishonor those of us who have endured the pain of recurring miscarriage. It is so personal. And that’s what choice is all about.
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As someone who has worked in emergency rooms, I agree that they are not in the abortion-providing business, at least none of the ones I’ve been in.
Thanks for confirming this, doc. Like most women, I have many friends who have had the procedure for a variety of reasons, including pregnancy loss, and not a single one has been to the ER.
In response to another comment. See in context »Thank you for this thoughtful piece, and for sharing your personal story with us. Thank you also for pointing out the glaring inconsistencies in that story of the woman who supposedly had serial abortions. Unfortunately, people do tend to believe stories that confirm their own assumptions, no matter how obviously fabricated those stories are on their face.
As a woman who had an abortion, I can say that my decision was not made lightly, and I know no woman who has made that decision lightly.
Thank you for sharing your story. I don’t know a single woman who made that decision lightly, either. These are sober choices, most tinged with regret.
In response to another comment. See in context »One of our close friends went through two early term miscarriages, then went to term with a baby born with no kidneys who died within hours of birth. She and her husband finally adopted and quit trying to have children and just reared the one daughter to mature adulthood.
I relived her pain in reading your story. Thank you for sharing; and continue to fight for choice.
My sympathy goes out to your friend. It sounds like you surrounded her with support and continue to do so, as I’m sure she still feels her loss, even as she relishes life with her one grown daughter. Blessings to all of you.
In response to another comment. See in context »Thanks for this.I read Sullivan regularly and this recent series has been very interesting but like you i suspected the post you referenced was fake,I wonder if it was even written by a woman..seriously how many woman would have described the ER scene like it was here.Sullivan is not usually naive however on this topic he has difficulty.
Exactly! The only thing missing from the ER scene was the woman slurring her words, smoking a cigarette, and callously pushing aside an old lady suffering a heart attack. Thanks for your comment.
In response to another comment. See in context »[...] Abortion is not widely used as birth control [...]
[...] Let’s Be Honest About So-Called Serial Abortions [...]
At the ED I volunteered at if a women was in the first trimester and miscarrying then she had to wait in the ED but if it was further along we’d take her to the maternity ward. I was never told the reasoning. I must say though that the women that came in and had to stay in the waiting room were the most heartbreaking people that I would ever see in there.
[...] Patti Hartigan – The myth of ’serial abortions’ [...]
I have had 7 miscarriages, two of which required D&C’s neither of which were performed at an emergency department.
In fact, the only time I have ever presented to an emergency department during pregnancy is very early threatened miscarriages, which are normally signified by bleeding.
Both of my D&C’s were performed in day-surgery wards, and one of them saw me bumped for 3 emergency surgeries.
I will how ever state that I personally know a woman who has had multiple elective abortions, but for each of those, she has to visit a private clinic, not somewhere the average mother who is mourning the loss of her unborn child is waiting in a gown on a gurney.
The Emergency Department story does seem to have been used just to sensationalise an already hot topic.