‘Cum’ to Israel: Israel’s new ad campaign

The art of launching an international tourism ad campaign is a tricky one. Here’s a hint to potential advertisers: don’t link your country with small penises in web commercials — even if your ads are aimed at college students.

Size Doesnt Matter (sic) is a pro-Israeli advocacy campaign for Canadian college students organized by the Canadian Council for Israel and Jewish Advocacy and Hillel campus organizations. The campaign’s goal? To combat the catastrophically low opinion of Israel on Canadian college campuses… through associating the country with small genitalia and oral sex.

Admittedly, the ad (above) is funny as hell. However, probably not in the way the creators intended.

The 54 second advertisement opens with a man and a women in bed, with the woman complaining that she just can’t “do it” because, well, “… it’s small.” Awkwardness ensues and the woman says that she, you know, just doesn’t know if she can go there. Then, the male actor goes:

“I consider this a spot of worship. It may be small, but it’s brought the driest places to life. Baby, this is paradise.”

The pair then look lovingly into each other’s eyes… and the camera pans out to show the man’s naked crotch covered by Israeli maps and guidebooks.

Really. This is not The Onion, this is a genuine advertisement conceived by a prominent Canadian public advocacy group.

Then a map of Israel flanked by its (larger) neighbors pops up on screen — one which happens to show the West Bank within Israel’s borders.

Then, right after we’ve seen this sexy little map, the woman seductively replies:

“OK. But… If I go down there for you, you have to promise you’ll go down south for me next winter.”

Yes. You cannot make advertisements like this up.

Judging by the reaction of bloggers to the college student-aimed advertisement, the general tone is one of stunned disbelief.

The advertisement is puzzling. While it’s certainly going to get linked and relinked across blogs, Twitter and Facebook, that is all it is going to do. It is hard to believe even a single viewer will show interest in visiting Israel or have a higher opinion of Israel because of the ad. As even a first year employee at an advertising agency will tell you, associating your country with small genitalia isn’t the smartest move to attract tourism.

It’s just another day in the Middle East, folks.