Egyptians get a satirical newspaper of their own

For everyone who has traveled to Egypt, this is for you: El Koshary Today is a new satirical news site that reads like an Egyptian version of The Onion. We’re fans of their latest exclusive, “Egypt’s Elite Declare Independence from Egypt”:

In an admirable effort to end class segregation in Egypt, residential compounds in El Sheikh Zayed City have united their borders and declared themselves an independent nation. The name of the new country on the western outskirts of Cairo is yet to be announced, though rumours suggest the contending names are Eliteland, Etiquettestan, and the more descriptive Republique des Villas et Piscines.

The decision to withdraw from Egypt came after the compounds’ wealthy residents decided that the best way to end the unjust divide in Egypt between the “haves” and the “have-nots” was to put all the “haves” in their own separate country.

“The inequality between the classes has finally ended,” declared President Chantel Abdel Moneim in English, head of the newly formed state, but also part-time housewife and poodle lover. Speaking from the rooftop of her villa (which was purportedly airlifted in its entirety from Tuscany), she added, “L’Égypte, alors, is no longer a segregated country of the very poor and the très riches. Without us sharing the border, it is finalement a society of equal no opportunities with more justly spread out expériences of suffering.”

Indeed, since the breaking away, Egypt has been declared by the UN as the most equal society on the planet. All remaining 98% live equably just below or just above the international poverty line.

We wish the self-proclaimed “most reliable news source” in Egypt the best of luck in dealing with the inevitable complications that come with doing webzines over there. But we’ll be reading.