If you’ve ever considered how the red M&M becomes, well, red, and more interestingly, where exactly that “red” comes from, you’ll want to read this post. Wanting to get to the bottom of the red candy conundrum myself, I paid a visit to a food coloring plant in New Jersey. The answer, as  you’ll see, is really quite fascinating….    

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“Red is our most popular color. Yellow and browns also do well but everyone loves a good red,” says Sal Harfouch in an airy room that resembles a three-dimensional artist’s palette. And what could be more fitting? Harfouch is the Senior Chemist at Spectra Colors Corps, a company in Kearny, New Jersey which supplies manufacturers with colorants for ink, cosmetics, candles and food. A wide, glossy tomato-red stripe marks a luscious border between the walls and the ceiling. One wall is seaweed green. Two large color charts featuring every hue imaginable and their universal codes hang in black metal frames and above sit a clock with a cherry red face, sunny yellow hands and rainbow numbers. Another wall is a subtle iteration of caramel macchiato and the one adjacent to it is mustard with a tinge of terracotta as if some cayenne was thrown into the mix. A display cabinet boasts a collection of green Cheetos, wax crayons, a jar of lurid pink Maraschino cherries and a plastic bottle with a Scooby-Doo cartoon label filled with a purple fluid. In stark contrast to this dizzy mélange of colors, a fourth glass wall looks out onto two harried receptionists squirreling away on their PC’s; a reminder that real work is done here.

“I’m the general all-round entertainment,” Harfouch jokes. “Sal’s such a storyteller,” cuts in Peter Caputo, the company Product Manager who’s been assigned to chaperone me, with a slightly embarrassed laugh. Harfouch is a 47-years-old Lebanese immigrant. He moved to the U.S. in 1983 to study Chemical Engineering at the New Jersey Institute of Technology, upped his qualifications with a Masters in Biochemical Engineering at Rutgers then joined Spectra 15 years ago as a lab technician. Harfouch’s appearance is drab in comparison to his surroundings; a long blue lab coat over jeans, a hint of a white and aquamarine striped collar and brown loafers. But his bubbly demeanor, big brown eyes suspended in a look of surprise and a pie-shaped face punctuated with a cheeky smile brighten the ensemble. Despite his claim of court jester, Harfouch plays the most important role in the day-to-day running of the company. No color leaves without his approval. Though the food colors are not made onsite – they arrive in sealed vats from India – he supervises the value-added services Spectra provides; blending the specific tone a client has requested and liquefying the powders to easy-to-use pastes.

Red wasn’t always popular. In the early 1950’s inconclusive results when the color Red 2 was tested by the Federal Department of Agriculture (FDA) did not bode well. A small number of female rats fed with the dye developed more breast tumors than others in the group. Alarm bells rang and additional tests were ordered with 800 rats and 800 mice. In 1969 the FDA issued a memorandum stating that the dye was safe. Around this time the Russians published results from their own studies on the dye showing that it caused rats to develop intestinal tumors and that it was toxic to the embryos. These studies were almost universally discredited. But the public caught whiff of them and the FDA rushed to carry out more studies to prove it was right. The agency conclusively ruled out embryonic toxicity. As for the cancerous tumors, statistical analysis from these new tests revealed an increased number of malignant tumors in female rats. With public pressure mounting, the FDA struck off Red 2 from its list of permitted food colorings in 1976. The reaction to this debacle was so strong that manufacturers not only scrambled to remove any last traces of Red 2 from products but also stopped using other permitted red colorings. Mars axed red M&M’s even though they didn’t contain Red 2 and didn’t re-introduce them until 1987.          

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When we feast on Lucky Charms, devour candy corn niblets or guzzle down Gatorade we aren’t under any illusion that these eye-popping concoctions are colored by Mother Nature. These are treats that we categorize as being firmly in the realm of “fun foods”. Fun foods are inherently not good for us; at least that’s what we grew up to believe. Fruits – not fun, wholewheat cereals – not fun, gummi bears – fun, bubblegum flavored ice cream – so much fun. So the further away from natural coloring our party foods are, the more likely we are to accept them as indulgent treats and the more we crave them as such.

But aesthetic appeal in our diet isn’t limited to fun foods. Green pickles, earthy wholegrain cereals, golden bagels, burnished Florida oranges, rich yellow cheeses, ruby red grapefruit juice and rainbow hued fruit yogurts, are amongst our most typical staples. Scrutinize their labels and you’ll see another common characteristic; they probably include an ingredient or two that serves no purpose other than to impart color.

“We start to taste when we see something,” says Dr. Gabriella Petrick, Assistant Professor of Nutrition and Food Studies at New York University. If a smoothie is a mellow shade of yellowish-orange and we see apricots on the label, our expectations have been fulfilled. We anticipate the gustatory experience so clearly that our brains, tastebuds and olfactory organs work together to taste “apricot” before we actually taste it. It’s these collective cultural references then, informed by ingrained memories of what foods should taste, smell and look like that manufacturers tap into. But on occasion they ignore these vital clues to their detriment. Dr Petrick recalls when Pepsi launched Crystal Pepsi in 1993. The Clear Alternative to Cola, the billboards boasted. Paradoxically, though unadulterated cola is clear, for as long as it’s been marketed, it’s been colored brown. As far as the consumer was concerned, if it wasn’t brown it wasn’t cola. The public was so confused by the soda that sales never picked up.

Dr Petrick’s cubby hole office, decorated with boxed retro children’s cooking sets (cupcakes and pies), diminutive bottles of Heinz tomato ketchup and rounds of gummi candy masquerading as mini pizzas, invests her with an air of an ingénue. So does her youthful sense of geek chic – fitted denim jacket, thick, rectangular frames sitting atop a button nose and tinted blonde layers. But her list of credentials and years studying the tight-lipped world of food processing suggest otherwise.  “There’s a false misconception that manufacturers set out to deceive consumers, they are just sending sensory signals to let the consumer know what a food tastes like,” Dr Petrick explains. The 1938 Food, Drug and Cosmetic Act bans the adulteration of food by any agent intended to dupe the consumer into thinking the product is superior in quality or more nutritious than it actually is. Color, then, is another marketing tool, like an enticing image or well-written blurb on the back of a cereal box.

To this end Florida orange growers have historically sprayed their green oranges with Citrus Red 2.  The subtropical climate of the Sunshine State entails nighttime temperatures in the orange groves stay relatively high. This causes chlorophyll (a green pigment) to return to the orange skins imbuing them with a greenish or yellowish finish as they ripen. Truly natural foods rarely conform the aesthetic ideals that we have for them, precisely because these ideals have been molded by unrealistic expectations of what is natural. TV commercials and supermarket advertising sell us on the idea that strawberries are perfectly heart shaped, that bell peppers are blood red and that oranges, are well, orange. Visit a farm or an orchard and you’ll soon learn that reality does not live up to our Platonic ideals. For consumers, a ripe orange is an orange orange; peddle green oranges, and chances are they will remain unsold. In a peculiar twist of irony then, foods are artificially colored so that they conform to our warped ideals of nature. As an economic necessity then, Florida oranges are “de-greened”.

Indeed, economics and color frequently go hand in hand. “Margarine is naturally white,” Dr Petrick reminds me. But it has appeared yellow since its invention to “suggest” to the consumer that it’s a worthy substitute for butter. As a signifier of how important color is to margarine sales, in the early 1900’s the dairy industry, threatened by margarine’s popularity, encouraged State legislatures to ban manufacturers from coloring the spread to quell the public’s appetite for it. The tactic worked, but margarine producers found a way around this obstacle, Dr Petrick recalls. Her aunt would tell her about how she kneaded yellow dye that was sold in small capsules alongside packs of opaque, colorless margarine into the spread before serving it. Once policy makers realized how absurd this was, the ban on yellow margarine was repealed in 1950.

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If you ever have a colonoscopy after gorging on blue raspberry flavored popsicles or candies, don’t be surprised if your doctor reports that your colon is a starling shade of blue. Just as these treats dye your tongue, they will dye your insides. But don’t worry. The color will eventually wear off the walls of your stomach, intestines and colon leaving no permanent damage. Currently there are seven FDA approved synthetic colors that can be used in food; two reds, two yellows, two blues and a green. Working from this basic palette, chemists like Harfouch create the plethora of hues that color our diets. Hundreds of millions of dollars have been spent testing and re-testing these colors to ensure that there is “reasonable certainty” that they are harmless (to quote from an FDA consumer publication). Beyond this, every batch of synthetic food color produced has to be FDA certified through further testing before being used. In 2002 the FDA certified 16.5 million pounds of color additives. As a final measure of safety, in 1960 the Delaney anti-cancer clause was introduced which prohibits the use of any color found to cause cancer in animals or humans. This is irrespective of whether the amount used is proven to be harmless. And, this is irrespective of the fact that beer, sausages, eggs and wine, amongst an almost never-ending list of foods known to contain carcinogens, are abundantly available and routinely consumed.  

“It’s like making a meatball from a cow, ” says Harfouch as we sit around an outsized, varnished wooden table scattered with red and yellow bowls of pinwheel candy and Paper Mate pens emblazoned with You’ll Know Us By Our Colors. “No, it’s like making a car from steel,” he concedes after a moment’s consideration. Harfouch is explaining how food colors are made from petroleum. Originally they were derived from coal-tar, the black viscous waste product left over from distilling coal for gas. Nowadays anilene, a petroleum product – toxic in its raw state- is a more cost effective source. Take Spectra’s most popular food color, 6-hydroxy-5-[(2-methoxy-5-methyl-4-sulfophenyl)azo]-2-naphthalenesulfonic acid, commonly known as FD&C Red 40, Harfouch explains that it’s just a big word for a tiny molecule that appears orangey red to the naked eye. Play with the chemical structure contributing a rosy tint to Pilsbury Pie Crusts, Minute Maid’s Orange Soda and Betty Crocker’s Hamburger Helper and you’ll come upon FD&C Yellow 5, a form of the chemical compound tartrazine. After much talk of molecules, bonds and synthesis, Harfouch insists that the final product is so refined that even the most microscopic amount of petroleum has been filtered out.

Harfouch says that his favorite color is pink, although for the most part he prefers earthy tones to bright shades. He also says that he couldn’t care less if manufacturers put cyanide in his food. That is as long as they are American manufacturers. “I tell my wife, don’t buy anything that isn’t made in the U.S.,” such is his faith in the governance of the FDA.

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In a somber laboratory humming with the soft whir of computers and diagnostic equipment, Harfouch performs his artistry. He blends the FDA certified colors in a small paint shaker until he matches the client’s swatch. He combines red and blue powders in various amounts for nuances of purple, and red, yellow and blue for browns. The powder dyes are very messy to work with; exploding in a mist of dust that settles on everything around when disturbed. Colors can change shade, or metamerize, under different light sources, so when Harfouch hits on a perfect match he has to be sure it looks the same under sunlight as it does under artificial, supermarket light. When he’s sure, a 100 gram sample is sent to the production arm; a small windowless room occupied with two machines and lit by a strange luminous glow. Trained workmen in smocks, sterile shoes and with their hair tucked inside nets use Harfouch’s recipe to weigh individual powders on a clunky industrial scale. The dyes are transferred to a mechanized drum which rotates leisurely, combining the colors until they match Harfouch’s 100 grams. Then they are decanted, packed into sterile buckets and shipped. 

For customers that don’t favor dust clouds, Harfouch concocts a simple stir-in liquid colorant from the powder dyes.  These only work however, if a customer manufactures a moist, non-oil based product, (sodas, smoothies, yogurts etc.), as the dyes are water-soluble. When it comes to fatty cakes and pastries, chewing gum, chocolates or oils, Harfouch has another trick up his sleeve. He creates “lakes” or non-soluble colorants which are dispersed in a variety of bases depending on their final use. For chocolate, the lakes are dispersed in vegetable oil. To coat the outside of a gum ball or a candy like an M&M with a vibrant, hard shell, lakes are dispersed in a sugary sucrose concoction.  

“I’d rather eat synthetic colors than natural colors,” says Harfouch defiantly passing by a glass chamber sprayed with inks and splodges of indiscernible color. “They’re safer,” he adds stopping by a wall where a myriad of glass beakers and conical flasks and test tubes hang on wooden hooks. Unlike synthetic colors, every batch of natural coloring, such as pink derived from beets, yellow from turmeric, red from cabbage juice and purple from sweet potatoes, isn’t subject to certification. This is because they are produced from the same fruits, vegetables and spices that we ordinarily consume; but it doesn’t mean they aren’t regulated. Natural colors were subjected to careful testing before manufacturers were able to use them. The food industry though is still wary of natural colors, but it’s not a question of safety. Natural colors are substantially more expensive but considerably less effective. They have a shorter shelf life, are less vibrant than synthetic dyes and once applied to foods, they fade quickly. Though simply the natural characteristics of an organic composition, these flaws can be very costly for a manufacturer. Caputo mentions a natural green dye – a chlorophyll paste – he was testing. When he came back to it after three weeks, he found that it had developed an unsightly mold. “What’s wrong with mold,” pipes up Harfouch, a twinkle in his eye betraying his otherwise straight face, “it’s very nutritious and has plenty of antibodies.”

Upon a closer inspection of FD&C Red 3, the popular pinky red hue enlivening the Maraschino cherries in the display cabinet in Spectra’s conference room, Harfouch’s recommendation may well be a palatable option.  In 1990, the FDA banned certain uses of this dye. A test had shown that male rats fed huge amounts of the color developed an unusually high number of thyroid tumors. The rats also turned pink, but it was the cancer that concerned the scientists. The Delaney Clause was applied, but it was only external uses of FD&C Red 3 that were prohibited by this new mandate. The FDA has promised to “take steps” to permanently ban the dye from all uses, but 19 years later, it’s been removed from lipsticks and eye shadows, but it still lies undisturbed in fruit cocktail tins around the country. With no other coloring option for cherries, fruit cocktail makers say that their sales would drop by 40% without lurid, pink cherries, with a resulting 250 million dollar negative impact on the economy. Mold, anyone?

It’s not often that I’ll take issue with a Tuscan over his preferred menu choices. After all, what’s not to like? Ribollita (hearty vegetable and cavolo nero soup thickened with bread); ragu di carne alla Fiorentina (slow-cooked meat sauce enriched with chicken livers); panforte di Siena (a dense and luscious cake of dried fruit and nuts melded together with honey and sugar) – all perfectly delicious. But when I heard that Italian celebrity chef Giuseppe “Beppe” Bigazzi announced his penchant for stewed cat, live on Italian TV, I was, to say the least, somewhat sceptical.

Silver-haired Bigazzi, 77, who authored the culinary bible, La Cucina Semplice dei Sapori d’Italia (which translates loosely as Simple Italian Cooking), is a household name in a nation of food-lovers. He co-hosts a daily pre-lunchtime cooking show on the RAI network which attracts millions of eager viewers keen to pick up tips on perfecting their national cuisine. But his fans were less than convinced last Wednesday when he described how soaking a cat (I assume one that has been slaughtered and prepared for the cooking pot) in spring water for three days (to draw out any impurities and ermm…residue from foul flavored pet food, perhaps) makes for quite the most delicious stew – gatto in umido – with tender, white-fleshed meat. The casserole, he said, was a long-standing traditional favorite in his hometown of Valdarno, Tuscany.

Whilst his beautiful, female co-host Elisa – who incidentally has a cat named Othello – looked on with obvious panic in her eyes, Bigazzi ignored her silent pleas to shut up already about the cat and enthusiastically encouraged folk to whip up the dish for the Florentine festival, Berlingaccio, which is celebrated the Thursday before Mardi Gras. Feasting and gluttony are welcome revelers at this party. Sugar coated, deep-fried pastries, candied almonds and creamy rice tarts are all usual participants. But Bigazzi proposed his kinsmen go one step further and take a traditional proverb, which eludes to generally merrymaking, literally, “to those who have no fat Berlingaccio kill the cat.” It’s better than chicken, rabbit or pigeon, he persisted in arguing.

BBC World News reported that during the commercial break that followed his sensational outburst producers, who were only too cognizant of the outcry that would inevitably follow, tried to convince the chef to apologize when the show resumed. But lady luck was not on their side. Bigazzi stood his ground and was subsequently fired from the network. 

Italian TV chef axed after recommending cat stew | World BB News.

Bigazzi was today quoted by the newspaper Corriere della Sera as saying he had been referring to events in the past, adding: “You can’t judge things from 70 years ago”.

But that was not enough for Italy’s National Animal Protection Board, whose president, Carla Rocchi, announced she had instructed its lawyers to begin proceedings against Bigazzi for inciting cruelty to animals.

A junior minister in Silvio Berlusconi’s government, Francesca Martini, said what had happened was “of the utmost gravity”.

No doubt none of us nor are going to start boiling up Felix on Bigazzi’s recommendation, but I think the widespread coverage of his unchecked revelation and the reaction to it are worth mulling over for a moment. When I was little my family had a farm in England about 2 hours outside of London. There we kept horses, goats,sheep, chickens and two Vietnamese pot-bellied pigs. Most of these creatures had names, most had come to us as cuddly newborns and some were treated as fully fledged pets. But does this mean that I wouldn’t now savor a steaming bowl Jamaican curried goat because of my old friend Billy? No, of course not. Why then do we attribute certain animals which we have arbitrarily chosen to become our friends and not our food with greater rights? Why should the cat live and not the chicken? Because they purr when we rub their bellies? Sorry, that doesn’t cut it. 

I think Bigazzi’s comments speak to a larger and more profound problem in the way we choose to see our food. The sanitized packs of chicken breasts, steaks and ground meat wrapped in neat trays and lining the walls of supermarket chiller cabinets could not be further removed from the reality of where that protein came from. Some time ago I went to a Halal slaughterhouse in Queens. There I watched a young goat- cute, with a fetching beard and emitting shrill cries that made me hold back my tears-  being slaughtered. With great speed, the animal was deftly butchered and the meat handed to a customer who was going home to feed his family. This was real and there was no room for sentimentality.

Last month China responded to popular pressure from it’s growing middle classes and proposed a ban on eating cat and dog meat. Both are traditional Chinese fare and have been in the culinary repertoire for centuries. If the law is passed people caught eating cats could face 15 days in prison. But what if cats and dogs were raised in sterile, humane farms, with space to roam, much like grass fed cattle say. What if they were humanely killed by stunning and were not plucked off the streets? Would this really be all that unacceptable? Indeed, how is this different from consuming rabbit. Many of us grew up with bunnies as pets; yet my local butcher has them hanging in his shop, gutted and skinned and ready for me to casserole. No one is knocking on his door demanding that he close shop for being cruel to bunnies.  

By no means am I advocating anyone murder their cats or bite into their puppies; there are easier ways to get your protein fix. At the very least, if we are going to pass judgement on others for what they eat, we really should take a careful look at out own food sources first.

I won’t be the first, second or even 169th person you’ve heard say that the mere mention of Valentine’s Day or the  mere glimpse of a foil heart adorned Hallmark window display fills them with an unquellable wave of nausea. Admittedly for the last three years whilst I’ve been “with-beau”, so to speak, those bouts of sickness have been less pervasive. But enough. I won’t bore you with another anti-Valentine’s Day tirade. In fact, this year, I’m wholly looking forward to the 14th February. Indeed, I wish every year could be like 2010. And that’s because it also happens to be Chinese New Year. Despite the ominous warnings of the ancient Oriental soothsayers that predict tumult during the coming year of the Metal Tiger, both I and said beau will be celebrating whatever chaos and disarray comes our away with home-cooked Chinese fare.  

Like most Chinese revelers we’ll be starting out with dumplings (a great hands-on Valentine’s activity to get the juices flowing too), a variety I think; moist and savory pork and prawn filled steamed siu mai, then Beijing style beef jiaozi with their pert, crisp, golden bottoms and juicy, flavorful filling. These petite pockets are symbolic of wealth and prosperity, resembling gold coins. So the more you eat, the weightier your wallet in 2010 (well something’s gotta work, right? It may as well be dumplings).  

Then we’ll glide gracefully onto the noodles, a fiery prawn and chili bean concoction. You must always have noodles on Chinese New Year , the longer the strands the better as they represent longevity. Don’t be tempted to snip unruly noodles. I can’t be sure, but you may well shorten your life. Why take the risk? Just wear a bib… or a dark shirt.

As for dessert, we’ll be nibbling suggestively at Mandarin oranges, the vibrant, burnished orange diminuitive fruits that litter the streets of Chinatown right now. Well, at least I will, no doubt, unconvincingly. Lover Boy, however, will at this stage be mesmerized by the nether regions of a T-Rex. Yes, this is still the same post, we are still on Chinese New Year and Valentine’s Day. In case you missed the news alert, the Discovery Channel is airing Tyrannosaurus Sex at 10pm on Valentine’s Day. Writes the New York Daily News:

“Tyrannosaurus Sex” doesn’t just answer the questions, it shows dinosaur sex in all its glory with state-of-the-art CGI animation,” reads a press release.

Yikes!

“The scenes created for the special are all based on fact,” it continues. “Interviews with scientists on the cutting-edge of paleontology bring new life to one of the last mysteries of these mighty giants.”

via How did dinosaurs get it on? Discovery Channel to provide answers, just in time for Valentine’s Day.

So here you have it, Chinese chow and watching dinosaurs getting down and dirty. Have we cracked the code for an awesome Valentine’s Day? Let me know Monday…

Photography Maya Smend. Food Styling Nadia Arumugam

Beijing Beef Dumplings

Makes 20
For the dumpling filling

1/2 lb ground beef
2 cloves garlic, minced
½ tsp finely grated ginger
1 tbsp soy sauce
½ tbsp Chinese wine
2 spring onions, finely chopped
3 1/2 tbsp finely chopped bamboo shoots
½ medium sized carrot, peeled and finely grated
1/2 tsp salt

 18-20 dumpling or Jiaozi wrappers
1/4 pint / 4 fl oz chicken stock

For the dipping sauce

2 tbsp soy sauce
1 tbsp sesame oil
2tbsp Chinese black vinegar
2 birds eye chillies, finely chopped

1. Combine all the ingredients for the dumpling filling in a large bowl and stir well until thoroughly mixed.

2. Lay a dumpling wrapper on a board and place 1 tbsp of the filling the centre. Tab the edges of the wrapper with a little water then lift the edges of the wrapper and press together at the seam until you have a crescent shaped dumpling with a flat bottom. Pinch the seam to create a crimped effect. Repeat with the remaining filling and wrappers. 

3. To cook the dumplings, heat 2 tbsp vegetable or peanut oil in a wide saute pan. When hot place the dumplings inside in batches making sure they are sitting on their flat bases. Fry for 2-3 mins until the bases are golden brown.  (At this point you can freeze half the dumplings for another time if you want. Just place on a tray or baking sheet and freeze for 1-2 hours until frozen, then transfer to a zip lock bag and return to the freezer for up to 2 months. When ready to eat remove from the freezer and steam as directed below. ) 

4. Return all the browned dumplings to the pan. Pour in the chicken stock, bring to the boil then reduce to a gentle simmer. Cover the pan and steam the dumplings for 4-5 mins until cooked through.

5. Meanwhile, combine all the sauce ingredients and mix well. Serve the dumplings immediately with the dipping sauce on the side.  

Photography Michael Hart. Food Styling Nadia Arumugam

Fiery Prawn and Chili Bean Noodles

Serves 4 

1 large onion, cut into 1½cm / ½in chunks

2 garlic cloves, minced

2 tsp grated ginger

2 large red chillies, deseeded and finely chopped

1 large red pepper,  deseeded and cut in 1½cm / ½in chunks

16 raw tiger prawns, shelled but tail left on and deveined

1/2 pint / 8 fl oz chicken stock

3 tbsp chilli bean sauce

2 tbsp light soy sauce

2 tbsp corn flour

Small bunch coriander chopped
1 lb fresh, medium egg noodles

1. Bring a large pan of salted water to theboil. Heat 1 tbsp vegetable oil in a wok and throw in the onion. Stir fry for 2 mins until softened then throw in the garlic, ginger and chilli. Cook for a further minute then add the peppers. Season the prawns with a little salt and throw into the pan. Stir-fry until the prawns turn pink then add the chicken stock, chilli bean and soy sauces and bring the whole thing to the boil.

2. Combine the corn flour with 2 tbsp of cold water and add to the wok. Bring to the boil, reduce the heat and simmer for 1–2 minsuntil the sauce is thickened and glossy. Stir in the chopped coriander.

3. Meanwhile, throw the egg noodles into the boiling water and blanch for 30 secs. Drain well, add to the prawns and toss. Remove the wok from the heat and turn out into a serving dish. Take to the table to serve.

(I know this serves four, but it’s so good you can keep half of it in the fridge for a midweek supper or if you have a microwave at work, take to the office in a Tupperware and treat yourself to a delicious hot lunch. Alternatively just scale down for enough for two.)

  

Photography Maya Smend. Food Styling Nadia Arumugam

Spiced Roast Pears with Red Wine & Brandy Cream

4-6 unblemished pears, such as Bosc or Anjou, peeled and halved
Pared zest of 1 orange
Pared zest of 1 lemon
3 1/2  fl oz crème de cassis
1 bottle red wine
2 star anise
1 cinnamon stick
1 cup brown sugar
2 1/2 tbsp cold butter, diced
9 fl oz heavy cream 
2 tbsp confectioner’s sugar  
2 tbsp brandy 

1. Pre-heat the oven to 400ºF. Place the pears in a small saucepan so they sit inside snugly, then pour over the red wine. Make sure the pears are completely submerged. Add the orange and lemon zests, crème de cassis, spices and sugar. Heat gently until the sugar has dissolved, then bring to the boil, reduce to a gentle simmer and cook covered for 20 mins. Remove from the heat and allow the pears to cool in the pan.

 2. Remove the pears from the wine and place in a roasting tray. Dot with the butter and roast for 15 mins. Meanwhile make the brandy cream by whipping the cream and the confectioner’s sugar until it just holds soft peaks then stirring in the brandy.

3. Strain the wine and return to a clean saucepan, bring to the boil and reduce by ½.

3. Mix the cornflour with a little cold water and whisk into the simmering wine. Continue to cook stirring unil the sauce has thickened. Remove from the heat and leave to cool for 10 min. Serve the pears hot with the warm sauce spooned over and a dollop of the brandy cream on the side.

Whilst we mere mortals might not be equipped with the olfactory tackle to distinguish the voluptuous chocolate and dark cherry notes of Merlot from the ethereal strawberry and violet perfume of Pinot Noir without the assistance of a label, you’d think that US wine giant E&J Gallo might just have someone on staff who could do just that.

Well, it appears not – say the French.

After sniffing around for year and perhaps quaffing a glass or two of vino, French authorities charged 13 defendants including several wine co-operatives, executives from two wineries and the conglomerate Sieur d’Arques with selling Gallo wine which was labeled Pinot Noir, but was really the aromatic grape cut with far less expensive Merlot and Syrah. The quantity involved is a spectacular 3.57 million gallons worth nearly $5.5 million. That would be enough to fill 16 million bottles, or 460 oil tankers writes Decanter.com.

Perhaps I’m expecting a little too much know-how from duped winemakers Gallo who’ve been dealing with grape juice for over 75 years but they really should have been tipped off by some not-too-elusive clues. The amount of Pinot Noir that was exported from the Languedoc-Roussillon region in Southern France between 2006-2008, the window of deception, far exceeded the amount of previous years. In fact, this really was a case of wily Frenchmen turning water into wine. Though Sieur d’Arques’ suppliers produce a total of 15,000 hectoliters of Pinot Noir annually, 135,000 hectoliters were sold to the gullible Americans for its Red Bicyclette brand.

They may have saved several millions of euros by mis-labeling their red, but if found guilty, the companies involved will be shelling out in the hundreds of thousands for their trickery. And with the prosecutor calling for to 12 months of jail time, the sentencing will not be easy drinking.    

 Though this is allegedly the biggest wine con yet, it is merely one amongst a plethora of fine vintage cases dating back to the ancient Romans who suffered free-flowing volumes of manipulated, counterfeited and contaminated wine. 

Wine Scandal Hall of Fame

 1. Death By Tainted Wine – Italy, 1986
At least 20 people died and Italy, the motherland of the Bacchanalian beverage, was forced to temporarily freeze all wine exports when cheap tipple was adulterated with  methyl, or wood, alcohol to raise the wine’s alcohol content to the average 12 percent. The contamination only affected low grade booze that was sold to neighboring European countries to mix with their own local wines and the locally drunk, unpedigreed Vino di Tavolo that was sold at such low prices that only adulterated incarnations could be profitable. 

2. Not-So-Sweet, Sweet White – Austria 1985
A odorless chemical found in anti-freeze, diethylene glycol, was used by some white wine producers in Austria to sweeten their booze and upgrade the quality of drier whites to more expensive, fuller bodied, fruity offerings. Why not just add sugar, you ask? Well, that would be a pretty crass con as the addition of sugar is highly detectable. In small doses diethylene glycol is somewhat harmless and the amount used in the scam was low enough not to have any detrimental effect on drinkers. You would have to chug 28 of those adulterated bottles every day for two weeks to notice any effects, and by then you’d be long dead of alcohol poisoning. Still, anything that belongs in anti-freeze should stay in anti-freeze. 

3. Coloring Clarets – France 1973
Three wine merchants in the posh Bordeaux wine region “manufactured” some typically deep red claret which didn’t contain any of the world famous red at all. The conniving  trio mixed mediocre white wine with dark red wine to create 1.45 million liters of the perfectly colored concoction. Allegedly several old Bordeaux families who literally had the red stuff flowing through their veins they had been dealing with wine for so long, had bought the adulterated wine and re-sold it in bottles bearing prestigious Bordeaux labels.   

4. Oops, I Accidentally Made Me Some Tipple – US, Prohibition
A wine scam of the most unique varietal occurred during the prohibition when wine production was illegal. Grape growers would sell bricks of grape concentrate together with a packet of yeast. A warning label accompanying the curious duo would advise against combining the concentrate and yeast with water and sugar in a sealed pot and letting the mixture sit for seven days lest “an illegal alcoholic beverage” would result.

Now ladies, we know we like to be treated to a little somethin’ somethin’ on “I heart u” day despite our most vehement protestations. (Just like when we say no to dessert, this is one instance when no really does mean why yes, of course.) And in this modern, egalitarian era the adage all’s fair in love and war has never rung more true than when it comes to Valentine gifting. So if you expect to get yours, you better reach for that purse.

But this isn’t an opportunity for an instant makeover. The tie you think he’d look great in; the sweater he’d fill out to perfection if only he’d get over his aversion to salmon pink; the shoes he’d die for if only you could get him out of the sneakers. Just leave them on the shelf and slowly back out of the store. Let me break this down for you in three simple steps. Boys like food. Boys like girls. Ergo, boys love girls who feed them good food. See, easy as pie…

Mornin’ Sunshine
It’s the most important meal of the day, so why not stir in an extra special dose of TLC and put an extra spring in your man’s steps this Valentine’s Day morning.  And seeing  as it falls on a Sunday this year, with the office a distant memory, who knows what it could lead to…

 Breakfast in Bed…Delivered
Don’t know how to fire up the gas? Oven full of shoes? Even if you have a typical shoe-box sized Manhattan kitchen that has served as a walk in wardrobe since you moved in, you can still play the domestic goddess. You just have to cheat a little. Step in the delightfully decadent Cafe Lalo on the Upper West Side. In its indefatigable “International Brunch” menu, there are 15 breakfast choices, each flavored with a foreign touch. The Moroccan Delight ($12) features eggs, tomatoes, bell peppers, jalapeno and herbs on pita bread, the authentic Belgian waffle ($12) comes piled high with whipped cream and smothered in Vermont maple syrup and the British Breakfast ($10.25) enthralls with delicate steamed eggs, tender scones, Devon cream and fresh preserves. Alternatively, opt for a flaky, melt in the mouth pastry or an indulgent slice of cake from Cafe Lalo’s litany of confectionary choices (Caramel Pecan Fudge, Chocolate Peanut Butter Mousse, Strawberry Shortcake). Cafe Lalo will deliver anywhere in Manhattan. Delivery prices start from $9.     

Bespoke Granola
If he’s a sucker for French Vanilla, hates dried cranberries, is allergic to pistachios but adores dried kiwi, then a concoct-your-own breakfast mix from MixMyGranola is the perfect gift for the health junkie, or at least an aspiring one. You even get to give your mix a name  and for an extra $2.99 you can add a color photo to the packet. Start by deciding your base (there are six choices which range from cinnamon granola to gluten-free cereal), then you add dried fruit from an eclectic choice that includes melon, goji, bing cherries, pineapple, mango and blueberries. Next you opt for a selection of nuts and seeds – you can have as many different ones as you please. Now comes the fun part – fully optional of course. Gummy bears, chocolate morsels, fruity loops, honey smacks, jelly beans and peanut butter bites can be thrown in for the child at heart. Last but not least, there are the ominous-sounding but actually healthful “enhancers” (bee pollen powder, ginko leaf powder, green tea powder, gotu kola powder ??!!). Mixes are 16 oz. Obviously the more ingredients you add the more expensive the final bag, but as a basic guideline a granola with a hearty selection of 10-12 different dried fruit and nuts can be had for $15-$18 (Shipping is $4.99). 

Love’s Cure-All
Meat. Need I say more? The aged, grass-fed, organic Wagyu steak is likely not to wrap well, but cured meats will. If these hearty treats don’t have your date hooked by the end of the evening, well, you’ve got me stumped.

Artisan Salami
Salami, a boutique mom n’ pop cured meat operation in Seattle has two claims to fame. One is that co-founder and “Principal Salmuist” Armandino Batali, a retired Boeing engineer, is father to New York’s flame-haired godfather of Italian cooking, Mario Batali. The other is that it produces some of the finest, traditionally made, authentic Italian cured meats in the US of A. The salami lover can order whole salamis which will be shipped on Wednesdays (via 2-day Fedex) for receipt on Fridays, to their destination of choice. The Salame Duo ($33-$37),  is a great gift choice, and will please a multitude of palates. It includes the house signature salame – infused with a touch of ginger, it is mild with touch of lingering spice at the finish – and the popular Finocchiona, flavored with fennel, black pepper and a hint of curry. 

 A Bouquet of Beef Jerky
I kid you not. The only problem with sending your man a bouquet of savory meaty goodness is that you’ll never be able to top this gift – subsequent Valentines will suck in comparison. Oh well, a problem for another time. And don’t worry, this isn’t a great idea that fails miserably because the product lets you down, Gary West is the dehydrated meat maestro. The jerky connoisseurs there have been producing strips of tender rump jerky, spiced, marinated and smoked to perfection over hickory chips since 1966. The bouquet ($35) consists of 12 long-stemmed steak strips. Choose from cajun (spicy but easy on the chili), traditional (mellow with a hint of brown sugar), teriyaki (jacked up with soy) and black pepper (like the traditional but heavy on the cracked pepper). The meat is cut against the grain so it remains moist and tender and the strips are cut thick so they chew like a juicy steak. The strips are wrapped in red tissue and sent with a gift card in a traditional flower box.   
 

Gaga for Pudding
If your love has a sweet tooth, why waste your time on anything else? Skip the appetizer and entrée and head straight to dessert.

A Bucket of Rice Pudding
Why would anyone want a bucket of rice pudding you ask? Well if you have ever tried the ethereal concoctions from Rice to Riches the answer would be oh so evident. The dreamy, creamy rice pudding which comes in over 20 extraordinarily luscious flavors and goes straight to your hips whilst you are still savoring a spoonful, is not for the faint hearted – especially as the minimum shipping portion is a massive 40 oz serving ($20). (Good for at least 5 people, it will keep in the fridge for a couple of days). The company makes no excuse or apologies for its indulgent ingredients – take note, there is no skinny version. Full fat milk, cream, rice and eggs are the primary building blocks to which the culinary magicians add fresh, seasonal flavors, fruit and the best chocolate. For Valentine’s Day opt for Sex, Drugs and Rocky road (mini marshmallows, nuts and a whole lotta chocolate), Raspberry Statement, The Corner of Cookies & Cream or the traditional Old Fashioned Romance. To ensure your delivery arrives on time, order online by 12 noon on Friday 12th February.  

Best Ever Pie
So your man likes pie? Then get him some pie! And make sure it’s from the Little Pie Company. It doesn’t look like much on the outside, in fact it’s kinda ugly looking with its bumpy brown top, but the Sour Cream Apple Walnut  (10 inch pie, $65, including 2 day shipping) is truly other wordly. The bestseller is made with Granny Smith apples, hand sliced and combined with fresh sour cream then the whole decadent melange is packed into a buttery crust and topped with a walnut, brown sugar and cinnamon streusel. It’s an expensive pie but how much is too much for the best piece of pie in the world!?

The Essentials
Why stop giving after Valentine’s Day? For the guy who values the basics, dole out these monthly  gastro equivalents to the white t-shirt.

Olive Oil of the Month Club
A great olive oil can be as tasty as a great Bordeaux. For $149 give your man a taste of the best cold pressed, extra virgin olive oils the world’s groves has to offer with a Bronze membership from OliveOilShop.com . Every 8 weeks he will receive a fresh bottle and a card describing the provenance of the oil and its unique characteristics. Each olive oil will have its own personality whether fruity, spicy, robust or delicate and its own story. If you’re feeling flush, why not upgrade to the Silver membership ($199) and opt for a new bottle every six weeks. Admittedly, you don’t know exactly what you’re paying for at the outset. But worst case scenario you’ll get 6-8 bottles of thoroughly decent olive oil for $25 a pop (not entirely unreasonable) and at best they’ll be truly delicious and great value. 

Conscionable Coffee Club
A match made in mocha flavored heaven for the ethical coffee lover. Citizen Bean is not to be confused with any old coffee club.  It’s a “subscription coffee-roaster of the month” club which sources only sustainable complex signature blends and single origin roasts from small batch, independent roasters across the country. In fact, it claims not to be a coffee club at all, but a Coffee Adventure. Every month your lucky giftee will receive one pound of gourmet, organic, fairtrade coffee, a profile of the roaster, tips on brewing and surprise coffee accessories and food samples (cookies, truffles and the suchlike). And because they are extra thoughtful people you get a grind sample so you know how finely to grind the beans for your French Press. A six month subscription is $119.99 and an annual subscription is $199.99.