Women have explosive boobs, and I’m not speaking in metaphors
In an exciting piece of news for airport security employees everywhere, Fox News is reporting that breast implants are the new shoe bombs.
“Female homicide bombers are being fitted with exploding breast implants which are almost impossible to detect, British spies have reportedly discovered.”
British spies? Wait, who? Which British spies? Can you give us names or empirical evidence? I guess not, because your source is “British spies” and your source must live in a hollowed out volcano somewhere. In typical, passive, vague, noncommittal Fox News style, “it is believed” that terrorist-doctors are being trained to do this in Britain and then going back home to fit female suicide bombers with explosive breast implants. Who “believes” this is, again, unclear, but you better believe they’re going to report it anyway.
The best part is that the fear mongering Fox News article includes a regular picture of a normal, presumably non-explosive implant, in case you were curious.
The jokes here just write themselves. “That lady suicide operative is a real BOMBSHELL, am I right??” Dear God. And while the article fretfully claims that these booby-bombs will be nearly impossible to detect, it really doesn’t seem that hard to imagine that women will have to undergo some sort of hands-on security check. After all, Disney just mandated a “jiggle-your-jugs test” for actresses in the upcoming Pirates movie.
I’m curious as to how one would go about detonating a booby-bomb. I can only imagine it would be really, really sexy though. Now THAT’S what I call an explosive orgasm! I also imagine this would be great fodder for a Republican porno movie. Titles welcome in comments section.
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Bond?
James Bond?
This whole thing is reminiscent of 1) an old (pre-2001) SNL skit where Dana Carvey was an airport security guard and every time (this pretty woman?) walked through the metal detector, he’d “beep” so they could detain and search her.
and 2) in Penn & Teller Get Killed, Teller would roll a metal bearing through the detector each time (Penn? someone he didn’t want to get through?) walked through.
all around, quite silly and sure to make the (already incredibly-pleasant) boarding process that much more fun!
Awesome photo, btw – be interesting to hear the search terms you used to find it (“halter top” and “shooting flames”? “Vince Neil” and “sparkler incident”?)
really? do the idiots at faux news have any idea what is involved in breast surgery/recovery? no, i suppose those morons think boobs have snaps to keep ‘em on or something…
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