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Mar. 11 2010 - 11:29 am | 790 views | 2 recommendations | 7 comments

Lesbian’s lesbianness forces school to cancel prom, fun

funny-pictures-little-kitten-would-like-a-prom-dateLike some sort of teen movie gone hateful, a high school in Mississippi is canceling prom at the last minute.  What awful event was the catalyst for this tragedy?  An 18-year-old girl who wanted to go to prom with her date.  Wait, what?

If you’re like me and rubbing your eyes in slack-jawed confusion, let me explain.  This 18-year-old girl’s date?  She’s ANOTHER GIRL!  In fact, she’s her girlfriend, of “GF,” as the kids are calling it these days.  And like the other BF/GF couples at this high school, this GF/GF couple wanted to go to prom.  So now prom is cancelled.  Sources say the school is also planning on cancelling ice cream cones, kittens, and anything else falling under the category of “fun,” lest some lesbians try to experience said “fun” as well.

To be fair, the Itawamba (funny name) County school district isn’t admitting that they’re cancelling it because they’re afraid of lesbians.  But after they told 18-year-old Constance McMillen that she wouldn’t be allowed to arrive to prom with her girlfriend, and that if their presence made any other students “uncomfortable” they would be asked to leave, the ACLU got involved.  And then, the district, who were most certainly already being made “uncomfortable” by the presence of the couple, cancelled prom due to:

“Distractions to the educational process caused by recent events.”

The recent event they’re referencing, I believe, is the existence of gay people.

This is just shitty, for everyone involved.  It’s especially shitty for McMillen, who will now be scapegoated by her classmates as the Girl Who Ruined Prom.  It also sucks for her tolerant classmates, who wouldn’t have cared and now don’t get to have a prom.  Like the toddler who was kicked out of preschool for having lesbian parents, this is just another example of blantant discrimination being presented, confusingly, as the upholding of educational values.  We wouldn’t want to “distract the educational process” by teaching children the value of tolerance and diversity.

Luckily, should McMillen choose to move to a more LGBT-friendly area when she grows up, she will most definitely have countless other opportunities to go to proms.  Kids in New York City throw prom parties all the time– I went to one a few weeks ago.  A queer, drag-loving guy friend of mine was recently crowned Prom Queen at an event called Bike Prom in DC.  So hang in there, McMillen, and someday you’ll be queen or king of a prom guaranteed to be way more fun anyway.


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  1. collapse expand

    There is a silver lining, all those kids will be spared nightmare prom photos surfacing when they’ve grown up.

  2. collapse expand

    Don’t cancel the prom. Just expel the sicko McMillen, and let the normal kids enjoy a proper school event.

  3. collapse expand

    Don’t cancel the prom. Just expel the sicko McMillen, and let the normal kids enjoy a proper school event.

  4. collapse expand

    Don’t cancel the prom. Just expel the sicko McMillen, and let the normal kids enjoy a proper school event.

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    About Me

    I am a stand-up comic and writer living in Brooklyn. I also teach theater and comedy to elementary-school kids in the Bronx. My writing and comedy videos have been featured on the women's comedy website Funny Not Slutty, Punchline Magazine, and EDGE.

    I co-write and co-star in a web series with my brother called John and Molly Get Along, which can be found on Youtube.

    I really enjoy a lot of goofy pop culture stuff, but I'm also a feminist, which makes things difficult. That's what I like to write about.

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