Is Sex During ‘Passion of the Christ’ Kosher?
Cover via Amazon
While enjoying a great dinner with even greater friends recently, we somehow ventured into a random conversation so filthy, blashphemous and opinionated I felt it had to be put out on the table. It involves sex, popcorn, Jesus and Mel Gibson. Let us begin.
A friend explained with much disdain that a friend of a friend of a friend had lost her virginity … in a movie theater … while ‘The Passion of the Christ’ was playing. Blasphemy, the friend (a woman) declared. How could she?! Me, being terribly agnostic and generally welcome to crude behavior of this ilk, argued the latter, and have some valid (or at least what I think to be valid) points to support my beliefs. My rationale after the Jump!
The movie, I argued, doesn’t matter. It may have been ‘Passion of the Christ’ that night, but the week before was probably some shitty Ben Stiller suckfest. Religious content on the screen doesn’t matter, as it’s the venue that does. This is when I declared the following rule that I’m pretty sure is one of the more profound things I’ve said in recent years: If the venue sells popcorn, having sex there is OK.
Sure, there’s public indecency and lewdness laws to be wary of, but as far as morality goes, I say bang away! Movie theaters? OK. Church — Not. Sports stadium? Daring and gross, but OK. Best Buy — nope. Six Flags? Yes, and double bonus on a roller coaster.
The ‘Seinfeld’ episode where Jerry is caught making out to ‘Schindler’s List’ of course comes to mind, so of course this has parallels and credit owed to there. It was then lobbied that I’d feel differently if it were Schindler’s List, because I have Jewish roots, to which I protested that’s absolutely not the case. ‘Schindler’s List,’ ‘Passion,’ ‘Malcolm X’ … they’re movies, and are made for profit and entertainment. I’d probably rather hear sexing than someone chewing popcorn with their mouth open, a sin committed far more often. If you have the cojones to get freaky in a movie theater, I say godspeed.
What do you think? Am I insane? Correct? Disturbed? All of the above? Comment it up, people!
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I love the rationale. I am so going to use that. Santa Cruz Boardwalk, OK, Exploratorium, not OK. And, yes, the movie is irrelevant. Thanks Mike.
Perfectly reasonable logic.
Your modus ponens proposition is attractive for its clarity, but it means that your two “not” conclusions are not valid. Just because a church does not sell popcorn does not mean it’s not OK to have sex there. Same for Best Buy. All you can say for sure is that if sex is not OK in some church, then they don’t sell popcorn there. If the church does not sell popcorn, we don’t really know anything else about what is OK or not OK there. However, if the church definitely does sell popcorn, well then, go ahead–you can have sex there. So, none of the above; not insane, not totally correct, not disturbed. You are on to something though.