Are You America’s Next Big Burger Skank?
Hey ladies: Has the recession left your wallet emaciated? Need some extra money to do all those summertime things one longs for? Well, put your bikini on and get ready to fellate a hamburger, because this job listing , aptly titled “Hot Chicks Eating Burgers for Carl’s Jr. / Hardee’s,” could be your big break!
Yes, all you need is a hot body, minimal conscience and a mouth (and hands, I guess), and you can be the next Carl’s Jr. or Hardee’s burger skank… err, model. Just like Paris Hilton! And Padma Lakshmi! And the biggest star of all, ‘The Hills’ resident thespian, Audrina Patridge!!! The job requirements are simple: Strip, perform oral sex on a hamburger, get paid.
According to the job listing, “girls 18-30 years old” should offer up “videos of themselves eating a Carls Jr. or Hardee’s burger. Be sure to introduce yourself, tell us where you (or the girl) is from, and state your favorite Carl’s Jr. or Hardee’s burger before eating.” Informative and geographically correct. And better, yet, it’s a career booster! “This is a simple way to get your name and image out there. ” Yep, perfect grad school application or resume fodder!
Obviously I’m taking liberty with and I am FULLY AWARE this really isn’t any different than a beefcake type dude doing Gatorade commercials. I just find the best part of the situation is that fast food companies are using impossibly skinny model-type girls to advertise their fat bombs … and it’s working swell. USA! USA!
Post Your Comment
You must be logged in to post a comment
T/S Members
Log in with your True/Slant account.
I wouldn’t say that it “isn’t any different” from a beefcake dude in a Gatorade ad. If the Gatorade guy started dry-humping his bottle of G2, maybe… But even ads that play off men’s bodies – and there aren’t a ton of them (isn’t Gatorade’s current campaign just people playing pro sports?) – don’t tend to equate the idea of consuming their product with fucking the person in the commercial. There’s not a male equivalent of this type of thing in American advertising – no need to posit a hypothetical one for the sake of balance.
–d
This is great stuff. America, how I love thee.