People’s Choice nominations reveal that people have really bad taste in pretty much everything

Stop. You're killing me. Seriously.
That great populist circus known as ‘The People’s Choice Awards’ recently announced its 2010 nominees, revealing once again that people, and I’m talking about “the great unwashed” (”peasants” if you’re all old skewl), you know, just your average Joe, 6 pack or no, have really really really really really really shitty taste.
Here’s a look at some of the noms:
- TV Drama: CSI (boring), Grey’s Anatomy (old), House (eh), Lost (again?), NCIS (whatever the hell that is). No Mad Men? No In Treatment? No True Blood or Dexter? Sure they might show up in some other category (The PCAs have more flavors of award than Baskin-Robbins), but this is the big kahuna category.
- TV Comedy: Desperate Housewives (fun, but come on), How I Met Your Mother (puh-leez), The Big Bang Theory (huh?), The Office (again? Shark? Definitely jumped), Two and a Half Men (seriously?). No Weeds? No Californication? No 30 Rock? Those shows only for the coasts?
- Movie Actor: Brad Pitt (obvious), Huge Jackman (for what, exactly, the wolf thing?), Johnny Depp (I’ll give you this, but I guarantee you it wasn’t because of Public Enemies, so again, for what exactly?), Robert Pattinson (he’s pretty, sure), Ryan Reynolds (because of The Proposal!? Really?). Not sweet on Viggo anymore? What about Clooney? Is it just me…?
- Movie Actress: Anne Hathaway (finally, a modicum of taste!), Drew Barrymore (sure, she’s well-liked; I get it), Jennifer Aniston (why?), Kristin Stewart (hot), Sandra Bullock (uh, see Ryan Reynolds, above). Nobody likes Angelina, huh? Okay. I get it. How about thinking outside the box? Marion Cotillard do anything for ya? Or Zooey Deschanel, if you’re a fan of her movie (see next).
- Independent Movie: (500) Days of Summer (they were cute), District 9 (great but, um, shouldn’t that be foreign movie?), Inglorious Basterds (really? With a budget of $70 million bucks? Okay), Paranormal Activity (now you’re talking, that thing cost, like, ten bucks), Tyler Perry’s Medea Goes to Jail (it was the best of the series; no really, I’m serious). What about Hunger? I know, I know. Okay, Sunshine Cleaning. That was fun! And bloody too! We love bloody fun! And, it was uplifting, it went for the heart. We love bloody uplifting fun that goes for the heart.
- Breakout Music Artist: Adam Lambert, Demi Lovato, Kris Allen, Lady Gaga, Susan Boyle. Of the five, I’ve only ever heard of Lady Gaga, and until about two days ago I thought she was a pre-op tranny. I guess that says more about me and my taste than anything else.
- Comedy movie: 17 Again (been there), Bride Wars (thought it was a TV show), He’s Just Not That Into You (based on the point-of-sale impulse-buy printed matter that was based on a line of dialogue from an episode of Sex and the City; hell, with a foundation as solid as that I’m sure it was fantastic!), The Hangover (just go ahead and give them the award already), The Proposal (again!? I thought we discussed this!). No love for Funny People? Or I Love You, Man, or Observe and Report? The Apatowian elite had their fun in ‘08?
- Breakout Movie Actress: Anna Kendrick (sat down with her last weekend to talk shop, for the 2 minutes I was allowed, so my vote goes to her; she was nice), Emily Osment (who?), Ginnifer Goodwin (who?), Miley Cyrus (the singer, or daughter, or whatever?), Zoe Saldana (who?).
- Action Star: Christian Bale (better give it to him just so he doesn’t bite your freaking head off), Gerard Butler (give it to him; he needs something heavy to lift), Hugh Jackman (don’t give it to him, because if you don’t he’ll sing and dance; again, do not give it to him; stay away from the little golden statue, Huge; no tapping), Shia LaBeouf (this little twerp? I thought action starts were supposed to be the strong silent type; this kid never shuts up), Vin Diesel (who actually likes this guy? Seriously. The Rock, I can understand. I see the appeal. The Rock is charming. He doesn’t take himself too seriously. But Vin Diesel? Am I alone here? Crickets…?).
There are many, many, many others. One thing the ‘PCA’ people are not is laconic. There’s an award for pretty much everything under the sun. There’s the ‘Best Newcomer in a Comedy Movie Who Also Took Her Shirt Off But Only in a Sort of Innocent Way Without Revealing Any Real Nipple’ award. And the ‘Best Comedy-Action-Drama-Holocaust-Mocumentary-Musical Based on a Hit Broadway Play’ award. And the ‘Best Male Chemistry But Only in a Buddy Way, Not in a Homo Way (But With Some Serious Homoerotic Tension Totally Lost on the Midwest But Pretty Discernible on the Coasts)’ award. I can’t wait for January.

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Writing in at the risk that you “Who?”‘d her out in attempting to drive your valid point home, though Ginnifer Goodwin has some creds: one of Bill Paxton’s wives in Big Love, and was Johnny Cash’s (Joaquin Phoenix) first wife in a personal fav, Walk the Line.
Ahhhhh…. now I know who she is. I seem to remember her from Walk the Line. Is she good?
In response to another comment. See in context »Yes, she was convincing in these roles, which were similar and not entirely demanding. I have not seen He’s Not Into You, though. She could be breaking out, which might be the impetus for the nomination, though to your point, that would be too logical.
Wait a minute I’m a people, nobody asked me what I like, what a gyp, so if I guess right am I one of the popular people and if I’m wrong I’m still that crazy weird guy in high school.
I agree with you on the TV Drama front but I think the issue with Dexter and Mad Men, though I am also a fan of House still, is that they are not network shows and apparently not everyone has cable and in particular HBO.
Mad Men moving to AMC this season didn’t help. I have many friends in Canada who were very upset about no Mad Men this season because most of the Canadian cable companies did not add AMC to the basic package -I got lucky that my cable provider did and added HBO as well. Makes me a very happy camper.
Mike, you got to keep up the good fight and show the masses what’s good out there (even if sometimes it feels like preaching to the choir). But I wouldn’t dismiss the masses’ tastes entirely, and I’m glad to say you haven’t in acknowledging that Anne Hathaway and Johnny Deep are worthy talents. I’ve been accused of elitist tastes even by my own family, but I’d still make the argument that Adam Lambert is a great talent and The Office is still a hysterical show. There’s no excuse for Bride Wars’ nomination though. That flick was just awful, although my wife would disagree.