Sick of doctors, cops, and lawyers? Here are 5 timely professions to base a TV show around

Thanks to the big reflective box we’ve all let take over our living rooms, we know more doctors, cops, lawyers, and politicos than anybody ever would in real life. I don’t know about you, but I’m kinda sick of lawyers. Most every lawyer, or law student, I know is pretty freaking miserable. There’s nothing about their lives, they’ll tell you, that should be on TV. Yet there it is. Every week.

It feels trapped in the 80’s to me. L.A. Law becomes The Practice and five other shows. Hill Street Blues becomes The Wire. Mash becomes ER becomes Gray’s Anatomy becomes House. The creative folks who make what fills our TVs and brain stems have become stuck in a rut when it comes to the careers that they turn their attention to. With a few exceptions.

Like a drug dealing mom. Or a blood splatter analyst who likes to take his work home with him. Go Showtime. You rock. But network? Suck city, for the most part.

A lot has happened to America recently, right? I think it’s time the TV folks took advantage of it. We need the feedback loop to suck up some of this stuff. Here are 5 totally topical careers that have yet to be tapped.

Wall Street Traders.

A scripted drama about the alpha men who ran our country right off the rails, and the women who they paid to party with them when they couldn’t get to sleep at night. We could call it Bull Market.

The Pharmaceutical Industry.

A black comedy about the schizophrenic CFO of a big pharmaceutical company that has just come up with a cure for cancer. The CFO wants to keep it quiet, but the young idealistic biologist, a year from completing her PhD, will do whatever it takes to get the drug to market. We could call it Bitter Pill.

Foreclosure Officer.

A reality series starring the guy from Roger & Me. Each week, we travel with him in the Shitcan Van to a new depressed berg, and stand by as he informs weeping tenants of their eviction, listens to them refuse to leave, and returns with a battering ram. Each episode ends with the tenants on the street, running after the van, screaming “What do we do now!?” The cliffhangers are built right in! And every season finale features a track down of all previously evicted peeps for a little look-see at what they’ve been up to, besides starving and, in some cases, freezing. We could call it Bringing Down the House.

Ex President.

A scripted comedy-drama in the vein of The West Wing. Aaron Sorkin could write every episode (coffee, Aaron, coffee), where we follow the wacky exploits of your average retired world leader. He goes to Mexico for cheep beer and hookers who no habla Engles (making him feel more at home). He bags a 12 point buck before hunting season and has to spend a night in the poky picking up the soapy. When he runs out of dough, he hits the lecture trail, spending some crazy nights in hotel bars snortin’ blow off of lonely saleswomen and trying to teach them all his secret handshakes. We could call it Salad Days.

A Wal-Mart/Duane Reade/McDonald's Employee.

A scripted drama about a woman holding down three jobs. Barbara Ehrenreich could exec produce. Each week we follow this determined, if tired, single mother of three as she struggles to make ends meet, feed her kids, and find love. Fat chance when you’re work week tops at at 80 hours, honey. We could call it All Work and No Play.