Thirteen songs to play during a high speed car chase
We’re not talking just any high speed car chase. This one has you in a 1974 Dodge Challenger (black, of course) equipped with a cassette deck and a kick ass sound system. It’s you and the hot chick/guy of your choice. Maybe you just robbed a bank. Maybe you drove your car up the steps of Town Hall in a protest against gas prices. Perhaps it’s all a giant misunderstanding – you picked up the wrong suitcase at the bus station and now you’ve got a trunk full of marked money and the Feds on your back. Doesn’t matter. You’re driving across I-80 or down I-95. The windows are down, the music is blasting and you’re feeling a bit like Bonnie and Clyde or Thelma and Louise, depending on who your partner is. You’re chain smoking, drinking Red Bull (sure, malt liquor would work better in this scenario) and having the time of your life while The Man chases you down, sirens blaring. And really, a playlist for this occasion is about more than the music; though the music has to be fast and hard and loud (or any combination thereof) it’s all about the enjoyment of the songs, too. When you’re running from the law, you’ve got to want to raise your hands in the air like you just don’t care.
This is your mix tape.
MC5/Kick Out the Jams – There’s no better way to start off a car chase than with “Kick out the Jams, motherfucker!”
Blur/Song 2 - Is any road trip complete without this song? The “Wooohooo” takes on different meanings depending on where you’re headed. Here, it means “We lost ‘em!”
Judas Priest/ Breakin the Law – Don’t forget to do the Beavis and Butthead metal sign/head banging thing as you drive
Iron Maiden/ Two Minutes to Midnight – This one works when the chase is almost up
Rage Against the Machine /Sleep Now in the Fire – Maybe singing “I am the Nina The Pinta The Santa Maria” doesn’t seem very cool, when you’re eluding sirens and trying to escape, it’s like you’re Christopher Columbus searching for new land. So, totally works
Motorhead/Ace of Spades – Lemmy is your copilot
Ludacris/Move Bitch – At some point you’ll come across a bunch of slow drivers impeding your progress. That’s when you sing this.
Static X/Wisconsin Death Trip – Even though you are maintaining your innocence, the whole scenario will make you feel like you’re living a life straight out of Natural Born Losers. For a few moments forget that this is lame stuff compared with other crimes. Channel your inner mass murderer. Get down with your bad self.
Pantera/Cowboys From Hell – Maybe in the past your “Yeeeeeha!” song was from Bon Jovi, but this isn’t Jersey (you got out of there a while ago) and we’re kicking your cowboy instincts up a couple of notches.
Motley Crue /Kickstart My Heart - This is for right after that frightening moment when the one cop pulls up behind you and starts tapping your bumper. After you freak out, you hit the gas, gun the engine and do some deep breathing exercises as you leave him in your smoke.
The Heavy/How Ya Like Me Now? – Play this one as you drive past your old high school, holding up your middle finger as you remember being voted “Least Likely to Amount to Anything.” Yea, well a fugitive is something, right?
DMX/Party Up in Here – Raise the roof during the “up in here” part, but don’t get too cocky, kid.
The Pixies/Wave of Mutilation – This just seems like a good song to have playing as you run out of gas and you’re surrounded by angry faces and guns. A closing credits kind of thing.
Disclaimer: The author does not condone/approve of bank robbing, mass murder, drunk driving, malt liquor, eluding the cops, breakin’ the law, the New Jersey Turnpike (except for the Vince Lombardi rest station) or running a ‘74 Dodge Challenger into the ground. Keep your hands and arms inside the car at all times and your tongue inside your cheek.