A Field Guide to Sports Egos
When you have agents and hangers-on handing you money and naked women and Escalades from the age of 14 on, it’s bound to swell your head. Some athletes just get a worse case of it than others.
My new Men’s Journal piece is out, and I’m interested to know if anyone thinks I left anyone out of this list of reigning sports narcissists. Obviously there’s no Kobe and I’ve gotten some letters complaining that Steph was left off, but I’m saving Marbury for an athletes-who’ve-gone-insane column.
Anyway, if there are obvious omissions, please let me know. We struggled over this one.
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I have no quibbles other than I wish they would have allowed you more words to include more hilarious examples.
If you were allowed more space, you could have included Redskins Head Coach Mike Shanahan who was once referred to in a Bronco media guide as “The Ultimate Leader”, whatever that means. Also, Boxer George Foreman (5 kids named George…awesome), Hockey Player Sean Avery, maybe former Duke Gaurd and current Assistant Coach Chris Collins isn’t a level 1-6 sports narcissist, but he’s a douche nonetheless.
I would have thrown Deion Sanders into the mix…..even though he found religion. No, make that; especially since he found religion!
And who could forget that god awful hot dog bun/hot dog toaster piece of shit that Deion was selling on QVC.
Neon Deion…Come on man…I own a microwave.
In response to another comment. See in context »I was going to add Deion to the mix also. It takes a special kind of egomaniac to believe you are so important that God is personally guiding your athletic greatness. I’m pretty sure that if there is a God, he doesn’t care about the Dallas Cowboys. Mocking religion and sports seems to be right in your wheelhouse, I’m surprised you didn’t take a swing at it. Great article as always though.
In response to another comment. See in context »I have to think Jim Brown (lax stud and football freak) has to fit in here somewhere. He, apparently, transcends sports. Or, the media has propelled him into an odd social/racial commentary space.
Of course, the unspoken irony here is that as a writer, Matt, you are also an extreme narcissist. To wake up each day and believe that everyone needs to hear what you have to say on subjects you consider important is no different than Tiger Woods getting blow jobs from Porn stars. The only difference is that you get mental blow jobs from urbanites with nicknames, like “Celestial Wonder” and “Revolution Mike.” Matt, hopefully, as you become more successful, you will not believe your own headlines.
Uh, Martin – first off, it’s not narcissism on Matt’s part to write on subjects, it’s necessity. You see, it works like this; if you’re hired as a writer, you’re supposed to – you know – write. And if Matt doesn’t, than he loses his job, which means he loses his apartment, which means he has to sleep on his mom’s couch and that really sucks. So it doesn’t make sense that you would get cheesed off because Matt is doing the job he was paid to do.
Therefore, Martin, I have to think your pique is personal. Did Matt steal some blonde of yours one night in a bar (or perhaps just disappeared with her for 20 minutes in the men’s room, after which she came back to the table with this really big smile that didn’t come from being with you)? I mean, you’re fixated on connecting Matt with ‘blow jobs’ so, like I said, it has to be personal, right?
Or maybe it’s just your time of month?
In response to another comment. See in context »Matt,
In the pantheon of sports egos, there is only one man who stands atop the pyramid of hubris, a one Mr. Jerral “Jerry” Wayne Jones. Not only is the Cowboys owner notorious for his well-known public firings of Tom Landry and Jimmy Johnson, but his private moments of testosterone driven binges speak even louder to his perceived self-importance. The best example of this behavior has to be when he courted a female flight attendant on the team plane, and declared, “If you give me five minutes, then I will take you to heaven.”
Only a 600 ton video screen in Cowboys stadium can appropriately accommodate Jones’ ego.
Dan Snyder obliterates Jerry Jones in terms of ego. Look up the draft-day cigar story regarding Daniel Snyder, and I think you’ll agree.
In response to another comment. See in context »You could write a book about all the cartoon characters, but who’d buy it? Not the millions of adult and juvenile jock sniffers, whose adulation and obsession border on gay cultishness. It’s a national tragedy, hero worship of guys who if not for terrific athletic ability, would be banging their cell mates instead of the boards. Terminal distraction, screw that.
The list doesn’t seem complete without some mention of O.J. Not only did he (allegedly) murder his ex-wife for daring to sleep with another man but then he went on to steal his own sports memorabilia claiming he was just taking back what was rightfully his. His ego is so huge he still thinks he’s innocent of both crimes.
Lance Armstrong? there is no I in team.
Lenny Dykstra! A narcissistic asshole on the field and the board room.
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=4084962
My God, are those stories about Charles Haley masturbating in team meetings true??? That is the funniest and most disturbing story I’ve read in a long time.
I’m not sure where he fits in, but Brett Favre definitely needs a place on this list.
I hope your criticism of A-Rod doesn’t diminish the value of my Texas Rangers era bobblehead doll (currently valued at nearly $11).
Pretty funny how Tiger used his statement to brag about his values. I can’t wait until he returns. My guess is he’ll be playing at Augusta. Whenever he returns, it’s going to be fun. Will he be treated like Seve 1986? Or maybe he’ll sulk like Colin Montgomery and turn himself into a permanent target. Probably more likely things will return to normal pretty quickly. Though I’m sure the drunks at Bethpage and Shinnecock will try their comedy routines next time the US Open or PGA is played at one of those courses.
(I really didn’t need to know about Haley in the team meetings…)
[...] Guide to Sports Egos By nobodyinindy Matt Taibbi, one of my favorite writers, just compiled a Field Guide to Sports Egos. It’s well worth reading, particularly the section about Charles Haley’s locker room [...]
Brett Favre and Kurt Warner are the two that immediately pop into my head. Favre because of the upcoming “will he or won’t he” bullshit we’ll have to listen to during the warm weather months. Warner because of all that Jesus-freak stuff, the wife, the endless talk of bagging groceries, etc… Don’t know if those are the two best examples of egotism, but those are the two that immediately come to mind.
You missed the final stage—psychopath. Obviously one could include O.J. Simpson, but I prefer Lenny Dykstra, who wasn’t just the poster boy for the steroid era who got in coke and booze fueled car crashes with teammates, but he used and abused everybody he ever met, including ripping off his BROTHER, MOTHER AND SON. In Moneyball, Billy Beane contrasted his natural gifts with Lenny’s, saying that the difference was that Lenny had the perfect athlete’s temperament—egomaniacal and ruthless. Lenny combined a jock’s supreme narcissism with the moral vacuity of a Goldman-Sachs executive (one of Lenny’s post-sports gigs was as a corrupt money manager) to form a human being of complete and utter loathsomeness.
Once again, Matt has succinctly and correctly summed up a class of people who need to be shown for what they really are. The egos and narcissism running rampant in professional sports are no different than the “masters of the universe” who nearly ruined the global economy.
For those of you who are ranting about Lenny Dykstra, you will love this little nugget from today’s Wall Street Journal:
Former Phillies star Lenny Dykstra—who last year filed for bankruptcy, saw his home (bought from Wayne Gretzky) foreclosed on, and auctioned off his 1986 World Series ring—is back in the stock-picking game. He’s selling a year’s worth of investment advice—including three weekly forecasts, a monthly conference call and a signed baseball—for $999. “Although Dykstra is NOT a registered financial adviser, stock broker or the like, his proven track record has caught the attention of many,” according to the biography on his new Web site.
I think you provided a nice survey of individual athletes’ oversized egos here. But I thought the sports that were represented was interesting too. Along with baseball, basketball and football, I think you could find someone from almost every major sport to put on this list — soccer, boxing, racing, etc. Hockey might be the only exception. You might be able to find a few Level 1 guys in the NHL, but that’s not a narcissistic bunch. Not sure why that’s the case…
Dykstra is genuinely a combination of A-Rod and Tim Durham. A thieving asshole of staggering proportions.
http://indyagenda.com/2010/03/04/a-field-guide-to-sports-egos/
I betcha Charles Haley has a Super Bowl cock ring, I’m just sayin’.
Gary “If I ain’t startin I ain’t departin” Templeton and Freddie “I would like to thank God for my hands” Mitchell are two athletes whose egos exceded their abilities. Wilt and his 3000 sexual conquests would seem to make Haley look like a eunuch. You pretty much nailed it though.
Hey Matt. Can any list of most narcissistic sports stars be complete without Lance Armstrong? This is a guy who wins the Tour de France a record 7 times in a row (after nearly dying from cancer and supposedly remaining drug free while all of his major competition was being exposed as drug cheats), “retires,” badmouths the remaining competition while he contemplates political office and numerous public love interests, comes back to the TdF after a 3 year hiatus by highjacking the reigning champion’s team, acts like a petulant child in the course of “only” finishing third, then takes the team’s director and goes off to start his own team for 2010. And of course this story ain’t over yet. You’re gonna have to bump your scale up a notch or two to contain this guy’s ego. Word has it he’s going ride the TdF this year on a 1969 Schwinn Stingray with bubble gum cards in the spokes and a child trailer with son Luke, just to make things fair.
no your wrong greg lemond would sue frickin’ lance armstrong for riding a schwinn stingray. huge legal lawsuit between lemond and TREK bicycles. check out these two american hero’s ego. WOW nobody has anything on Lance 7x’s or greg’s 3x’s. lance in my opinion ruined cycling, coming out of his (drug induced) retirement. he is like goldman sachs vampire squid around everyone’s neck with his relentless ego. he made all his teammates on USPS team squad take the juice and dope so they could ride him to victory in the peloton to gold. i hate mr. livestrong of course he bought his second home in aspen CO the crime scene that it is. harbor for all the white collar all star criminals, has yellow crime scene tape wrapped around the whole town boundaries. lance to contador their is no I in team. bs
In response to another comment. See in context »Hi Matt! I have to say that with all of the egocentric jerks out there in the world of sports, there are exceptions. One MAJOR exception is the athletes of Beach Volleyball. The athletes are only too happy to meet fans and spend time with them. They are for the most part nice, clean living, and genuine people. The biggest star in beach volleyball is Misty May Treanor. Of all of the beach volleyball players, Misty could certainly be less generous with her time and talent. This is far from the case. Misty spends alot of time giving back to the volleyball community, charity work, and teaching the sport to the next generation. Any player of any sport at any level could take a lesson in manners and grace from Misty May Treanor and all of the beach volleyball community.
Misty? is that you?
Kidding, she is terrific as well as Kerry and Karch and most of the vball tour, what’s left of it anyway
In response to another comment. See in context »Isiah Thomas. Ran the CBA into the ground. Set the Knicks back about 20 years. Claimed that if Larry Bird was white he’d be “just another player.”
Also receiving votes: Roger Clemens (reasons too numerous to mention), Karl Malone (absentee father, afraid of contracting AIDS from Magic Johnson, speak exclusively in 3rd person).
What about Ron Artest? I love time after that playoff loss to LA when Kobe roughed him up and responded that he likes physical play and what everyone was seeing was nothing compared to the kind of hoops he played growing up. He then went on to describe a pickup game where a guy got mad and threw a broken table leg threw a someone’s heart, killing him at midcourt.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3_xmYLBnnA
Wish I could go back and fix my spelling/grammar there… Unless you have kids and a naggin’ ass wife, don’t judge me.
In response to another comment. See in context »[...] A Field Guide to Sports Egos – Matt Taibbi – Taibblog – True/Slant [...]
Theisman, Camacho, Ryan Sheckler, Greg Lemond, Anyone with a cologne named after them, and about 75% of the kooks in the UFC.
Also Karl Malone, Dykstra, and John Daly seems to be on some kind ego based freak bender lately.
By far the most bloated ego in pro sports belongs to Mike Vanderjagt, the former placekicker for the Indy Colts.
At least everyone listed in your article has accomplished something and contributed substantially to their respective teams. This doushebag, on the other hand, had the audacity to publicly criticize his own QB and coach, who were no less than Peyton Manning and Tony Dungy (Guaranteed future Hall of Famers), for not being hysterical, overly emotional drama queens.
Then he went on to trash talk the New England Patriots during the ‘04 playoffs, like if he was the one out there taking hits for the team (The Pats handed the Colts their asses that game, 20-3).
All this verbal diarrhea came from the mouth of a guy who croaked in every clutch situation he was ever placed in. He pretty much singlehandedly ended the Colt’s ‘04 and ‘05 seasons.
Then after no NFL team wanted his sorry, shit-talking ass on their squads, buddy went to the CFL’s Toronto Argonaut, telling the media that is where he wanted to go all along, regardless of what NFL team called. Sure!!!
Finally, did I mention this guy is a fucking PLACEKICKER.
Don’t forget about “reverend” Michael Irvin. From the NY Post:
The dean of Dallas decadence was wide receiver Michael Irvin, known as The Playmaker. “Did he love snorting coke? Yes. Did he love lesbian sex shows? Yes. Did he love sleeping with two, three, four, five (yes, five) women at the same time in precisely choreographed orgies? Yes. Did he love strip clubs and hookers and house calls from exotic dancers with names like Bambi and Cherry and Saucy? Yes, yes, yes.”
But because Texas is football, Irvin’s antics, including an arrest for cocaine possession and stabbing a teammate who Irvin believed dissed him by cutting in line to get a haircut, were waved away with a smile.
This is why I’m really starting to like curling more and more.
Was Charles Haley raised in the woods? Sounds like he was never socialized in any way. And what the hell happened to him when his football career ended? There can’t be too many job opportunities for black men who masturbate in public.
Heard he now moonlights as Michael Steele.
In response to another comment. See in context »Do coaches count? If so, Rick Pitino would definitely make the list, most recently due to his martyr complex surrounding the media coverage of his infamous and tawdry extortion case.
“..athletes like Tiger Woods, A-Rod, and Kobe Bryant have continued to take the lead in teaching children that true love doesn’t always have to involve other people”
Okay, Matt, where I do swipe my VISA to pay for stealing this line from you?
no love for terrell owens here? totally toxic ego.
Matt,
It’s somewhat ironic that you have nominated yourself as the judge and jury convicting people of being narcissistic, but I guess that comes with the territory when reading a humor piece. I do agree that these people are losing touch with reality, however it would help your cause to find better examples of these athletes’ actions. Some are so intellectually dishonest that it borders on ignorance. Did you even watch Jordan’s induction into the Hall of Fame or did you read that quote from some deadspin headline? Here is the video of his quote; http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/blog/ball_dont_lie/post/Jordan-Don-t-be-in-a-rush-to-find-the-next-Mic?urn=nba,188900 Now, the man is a genuine egomaniac, but the examples you gave don’t better your argument. Jordan is a degenerate gambler, he actually thinks he can beat the casinos or professional golfers on the course. He was seen gambling the night before a playoff game against the Nicks in 1993, a series that the Bulls lost. The rumors of his philandering easily rival Tiger’s if not surpass it, but he did it in a different time(not better by any stretch of the imagination, just different) when “Everyone Wanted to Be Like Mike,” and unlike today we as a society weren’t so willing to cut down every celebrity so the rest of us could feel better about our own pathetic lives. And unlike Tiger, who would trotted out both his wife and child after ever tournament win, the public never really saw Jordan’s wife. So the entire country turned a blind eye, and it wasn’t really made public until his divorce and at that point everyone said, ‘Michael who?’ We just didn’t care anymore. Even the quote to his children is a horrible example. They grew up in the shadow of the most famous athlete in the world, imagine the artificial yet meaningless pressure society will put on those kids. He grew up as Michael Jordan, they grew up as Michael Jordan’s kids. Their identity is shape by the public perception of their father.
I do appreciate the self deprecating humor about sports journalism yet you seem to use Pearlman’s book for your information about Haley, but failed to mention, or intentionally left, out that Haley was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and took medication for it…well sometimes he did and sometimes he didn’t. The times he didn’t you have situations you described. And heavens knows A-rod is an egomaniac and rightfully the final stage, but to use a US Weekly quote from an unnamed ex for the story about the centaur doesn’t make the any funnier but comes off as lazy and unimaginative. Its as if you think your readers are as mindless as the Teabaggers you loath so much.
Even though the examples maybe a bit weak the commentary about all of them was funny as hell.
No CURT “The Shill” SCHILLING?
Sorry. Different subject. Check out these vids from the Roosevelt Institutes coference on let the markets be markets. Elizabeth Warrens comments, especially during the Q&A are strong. It is easy to see how government actions ( or perhaps a better description is their lack of action) is undermining the confidence in our government. And rightfully so! http://vimeo.com/9965938
Nice job, Matt. Really like Stage 4 re: Mike What’s-his-name was definitely a good selection.
Gotta implore you to add Sammy STEROID-Sosa to the list.
BTW: Jeffc
IF Chuck Haley has Bipolar Disorder, he can also have Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It’s called co-morbidity. Being bipolar dose not excuse or negate Haley’s NPD.
Another example of co-morbidity would be Tiger’s NPD and his sexual addictions. And you can guran-f*ckin’-tee that Tiger, being the quintessential poster-boy for NPD, will most definitely being returning to golf sooner rather than later to get his “narcissistic fix” (i.e, he needs the constant adulation to get through his day).
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (DSM IV)
A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
(1) has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
(2) is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
(3) believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
(4) requires excessive admiration
(5) has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
(6) is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
(7) lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
(8) is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
(9) shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
The only thing missing from this piece is a reference to Mtv’s “Cribs” – my favorite example of what happens when exceptionally stupid people get extraordinary amounts of money.
All great narcissists, but also great athletes.
The greatest narcissist – outside of politics – I’ve ever seen or heard about in sports was this obscure quarterback from the old WFL named Jim “King” Corcoran. I remember him as a kid playing for the Philadelphia Bell, the one full-year of the WFL. His interviews both in TV and in print seemed like they originated from BizzaroWorld.
He was a total loon. I remember him being interviewed by Philly TV sports guys and telling them, in all seriousness, he had the greatest arm in pro football. Period.
Remember this was the era of Bradshaw and Namath. And he had a local cult following to boot, stemming from his days as a semi-pro QB in Pottstown, Pa.
He bragged openly, in public, about his female conquests. He made fun and fought with his coaches.
And finally, he did Ricky Henderson one-better with the third person references. He would never refer to himself as “me”, “I” or even “Jim”, but as “King” or often “The King.”
A true legend in his own mind.
Unfortunately, Corcoran died last year and the WaPost’s obit on him is one of its bests.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/08/01/AR2009080102187.html
Great Article… There are always other athletes that come to mind but my only issue with the list is that it feels like there is too large a jump from Rickey to Michael. There should be another level between the two because to me Rickey’s crazy ways were more fun and entertaining rather than hurtful or spiteful as some of the later levels. Jordan has dragged a number of other athletes to destruction, Antoine Walker comes to mind. So from the above list of missing athletes I would nominate Deion or TO to fill that spot where the transition from amusing/annoying moves to self destructive or team destructive.
[...] A Field Guide to Sports Egos – Matt Taibbi – Taibblog – True/Slant [...]