Goldman Sachs Arms Itself
Dec. 1 (Bloomberg) — “I just wrote my first reference for a gun permit,” said a friend, who told me of swearing to the good character of a Goldman Sachs Group Inc. banker who applied to the local police for a permit to buy a pistol. The banker had told this friend of mine that senior Goldman people have loaded up on firearms and are now equipped to defend themselves if there is a populist uprising against the bank.
via Arming Goldman With Pistols Against Public: Alice Schroeder – Bloomberg.com.
I’m reading this article on Goldman executives applying en masse for gun permits and I’m trying to decide exactly how funny it is on a scale of 1 to 10. Reader assistance here is definitely appreciated.
On the unfunny side: it’s never good when anyone buys guns, particularly not rich weenies with persecution complexes. Also, it might possibly be true that people have threatened Goldman bankers physically, which would really not be all that funny and would make me personally feel somewhat uncomfortable, although it would probably never be very high on the list of things I have to lose sleep over.
On the funny side, there are several things to consider. There’s the image of Goldman guys walking into Dean and DeLuca’s nervously grabbing at their holstered nines as they buy espresso and soy waffles. There’s the idea that some of these dorks might actually think that they’re going to forestall proletarian rebellion by keeping guns in their Hamptons beach houses. There’s even the impossible-to-resist image of a future accidental shooting of some innocent hot dog vendor on Park Avenue, followed by the inevitable p.r. response from Goldman in which the bank claims that the only thing its employees are guilty of is “being really good at shooting people.”
Certainly, there are things to ponder on both sides. Right now I’m leaning toward making this a seven on the funny scale, trending toward eight. Advice more than welcome.
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Eek, when my hedge funder cousin told me to invest in gold, guns, and canned goods, I thought he was only serious about the gold part.
Matt,
I don’t think Goldman Sachs employees really have much to worry about. They’re too rich and powerful, and therefor too adored by the very people they screw. As you once pointed out, “the peasant mentality lives on in America.”
They have nothing to worry about. The Teabaggers don’t care about banks and their massive profits; they are too worried about Acorn getting that fat $3 million in funding.
I think the GS people are thinking about the Col Sherburn scene in “Huckleberry Finn”. They can imagine themselves facing down an angry mob with a single weapon and delivering a withering speech that sends the crowd home, tail between their legs. I imagine the actual circumstances as:
A rich douchebag with a pistol, tag still on it, lecturing a slavering mob about how he’s only doing God’s work. I would rate the comedy of that scene as a 10, 11 if the crowd has been drinking.
a) People who up n’ “arm themselves” are overwhelmingly going to do far more damage to themselves more than anyone else
b) They should really be worrying far more about hackers and other information based attacks than anyone physically storming the bank or assaulting them.
I mean, haven’t these jokers ever watched _Trading Places_?
“You know, it occurs to me that the best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people”
Just sayin’
someone should point out to them that four police officers – all armed and all trained to use guns – were killed in a cafe last weekend. Those guns are not going to make a damn bit of difference, unless they accidentally shoot themselves.
And the only difference they would make if they shot themselves is to generally improve the situation.
In response to another comment. See in context »[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by ken m and greychampion, Tweets Tube. Tweets Tube said: Goldman Sachs Arms Itself http://bit.ly/4FMUxc [...]
I really want this to be very, very funny but I’m only thinking around four on this.
It’s like a meth addict noticing a loose tooth and stocking up on fluoride rather than, you know, not smoking meth. It’s more sad than funny.
The most humorous image I can conjure is a bunch of Savile Row tailors drooling over the prospect of massively expensive custom alterations. After all, a holstered antique M1911 will seriously fuck up the cut of even the highest quality unaltered suit.
Frankly, this might help explain the recent price curves on ammo. Leave it to Goldman to feed the Bullet Bubble.
Well it they do get arrested for shooting someone at least they know they’ll get bailed out.
My initial thought on reading the blurb was 7/10, primarily because, like you said, there’s a serious side to the threat, but their paranoia is still funny.
But then I thought about it and changed it to a 9/10, just because they thought about getting guns before thinking about not being overpaid, con artist douche bags. Which is the better self-defense?
Now, if they were dealing with Rorschach, that’s another story…
I’m kind of annoyed by the amount of anti-gun comments here, and the anti-gun sentiment in the article and blog post. Depending upon whose statistics you believe, guns prevent anywhere from 7-800,000 to 2.5 million crimes per year. I don’t think the guys who want to go get a pistol really think they’re going to prevent some revolution, they’re worried about some crazy guy coming after them and their families. And statistically, the police are more likely to shoot that hot-dog guy than someone who is licensed to carry.
Most unjustified, fantastical, ludicrous persecution complex?
In response to another comment. See in context »a)Sarah Palin
b)Goldman Sachs bankers
c)Gun owners
Responses like mine are justified when people such as yourself toss around misinformation and outright lies about guns without a second thought.
In response to another comment. See in context »wlllrs,
My niece is dating one of these NRA, concealed permit gun lovers who told me it was his god given right to go packin’. Fair enough, though I felt compelled to mention that he shouldn’t confuse the bible with the constitution.
However I did have an issue with his insistence on carrying a weapon to the Thanksgiving table. My mother used to tell me that God protects drunks and fools but this holiday it occurred to me that the constitution does as well.
In response to another comment. See in context »Matt,
to me it’s admission of guilt. So it wasn’t reckless econocide, it was murder and therefor a zero on the funny scale.
How long til the ole’ ‘I was only following orders’ excuse is used by bank execs? History is a funny thing: Marx figured Great Britain as the best candidate for a revolution by Mr. & Mrs. Proletariat, but instead that particular ball wound up in the Czar’s court. My bet is that the big financial firms, regulators and politicans all figure that if a revolution starts at 7pm, it’ll be suspended by 8 because American Idol is on. And they’re probably right. So long as the chips, beer and shallow, vacuous entertainment keeps on coming (”You will obey me while I lead you, eat the garbage that I feed you, don’t call for help, no one will heed you…”) there will be no revolution. The old comic ‘The Wizard of Id’ said it best…when the cry went up ‘The Peasants are Revolting’ the King merely replied ‘You can say that again.’
At least they’re not packing golf clubs. Now that would be dangerous.
Seems like an exercise in futility. What good are some pea-shooters going to do for the Goldman Sachs banksters when the mob is coming after them with AK-47’s and molotov cocktails?
“Damn commie Poors with their damn ChiCom AK-47s.”
“WE imported those AKs for you to buy, you lousy prole ingrates!”
“Eat Swiss-banker Sig/Sauer P226 lead!”
[Blam, Blam!]
In response to another comment. See in context »I’d say 9 on the ha-ha scale. Maybe there was a memo advising the hedgehogs that their Blackwater…excuse me, Xe body guards were… “projecting an image of vulnerability in a time when we must exude corporate confidence. With that in mind all GS personnel are now required to provide for their own security.”
And we all no that the only people cheaper than billionaires are millionaires.
Dollars to donuts the vast majority of firearms recently purchased will wind up in the mouths of the buyers with their manicured fingers on the triggers…
I like to picture hedgehogs watching Mr. Smith goes to Washington in their 200-seat residential Imax theater and blowing their brains out during the filibuster scene.
But Steve’s right. They’re adored. Americans love gangsters, liars and charasmatic anti-intellectuals.
Not even remotely funny to my way of thinking. Guaranteed, one of these bastards will feel the need to use his (or her) new toy and another ordinary joe will pay the price.
Why don’t those Executive pukes use their bonus money and hire body guards. It would have a hidden benefit of adding jobs and Golden sacks can promote it for their next public relations promo. I hope they know which way to point the barrel I wouldn’t want them to hurt themselves after all they are the job creators.
What’s really scary is their belief that they are in the right and, therefore, entitled to defend themselves against the unwashed masses. Perhaps if they actually did the right thing–like, you know, give the money back to the government they owe and maybe put a cap on those outrageous bonuses–they wouldn’t have to feel so afraid.
I’m leaning towards not that funny at all, maybe a 3 or 4, because it points to such a deranged view of reality that is so true and unwavering that it’s really dangerous. We’re dealing with monsters, they have the attitude of spoiled ten-year-olds, they pull the strings of government, and now they are walking around with guns they probably don’t know how to use because they’ve suddenly discovered that they aren’t very popular.
Think about the scenario they are imagining and preparing for. It’s amusing that these bankers think they can protect themselves with a gun. It’s less amusing that they believe their money backed by the threat of force will make them safer. They are preemptively escalating their situation to include violence while sending their popularity deeper into the gutter. Their level of self delusion and desperation is teetering on the thin line between funny and tragic.
“You’ve got to ask yourself one question:
‘Do I feel lucky?’
Well, do ya punk?”
I’d say it’s a nine, close to a ten. If people ever did get mad enough to descend on GS, I’m picturing one of these smooth-palmed bankers hunkered underneath their desks like that guy in the bathroom in Pulp Fiction when Jules and Vince go to get Marcellus Wallace’s briefcase back. They’re waiting for the right moment, when they can see the whites of the angry mob’s eyes, and then they pop up and unload only to miss everyone completely. Then they’re overtaken as the people swarm over them like ants around a piece of candy dropped on the sidewalk. Just a personal fantasy.
Imagine a Brooks Brothers-clad gunsel confronting an unsuspecting beachcomber, drawing a bead and uttering: “You’ve got to ask yourself one question: ‘Do I feel lucky?’ Well, do ya punk?”
More likely, the moneychanger will pull a Woody Allen and quaveringly declare: “Stop right there! I’ve got a gub!”
Can it be long before Blackwater’s stormtroopers are bivouaced on West Street?
Commenters here should be under no illusions. Goldman has a dossier on you. It’s security mavens know who you are, where you live, what you drive, what web sites you peruse and, most important, what you owe.
Jason Bourne is in your alley, right now….
A reality TV show pitting famous defenders of their wealth against one another might be fun. Counterstrike style, but with LA Korean grocery owners fighting against Goldman Sachs employees. Or maybe they each play against a marauding horde of the unwashed masses to see who scores better in the end. If the poors win they get health coverage for a year ($5,000 deductible, no vision and dental) and a free 401K consultation. If the defenders of wealth win, they get jus primae noctis on their choice of the poors.
So many groups to go through. White Rhodesians would be really tough to beat. I’d be rooting for the Korean grocery owners personally.
Alas for their sense of drama, I don’t think anybody can actually spot a regulator-manipulating banker as distinct from any other overdressed person.
The notion of out-of-work or evicted proles scheming to shoot G/S staff in revenge is awfully far-fetched. Anybody with the brains to identify, find and stalk a stranger in another city has the brains to understand that G/S is the poster child for a systemic problem, not a cartoon villain that tied their 401K to the tracks.
There will be much violence come of this economic catastrophe, of course. But the G/S staff can sleep soundly, knowing that, as a rule, only wives and offspring will be beaten (and occasionally shot) by their enraged and despairing victims.
First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin.
How about Moscow, after the fall. Afghanistan quagmire, armed populace. The oligarchs at Dean and Deluca, with glock.
It is funny, and sad, and thanks for your writing which makes it better for me.
I enjoyed Matt’s colorful portrayal of these scumbags as Minskys cartoon characters. Not bad at all. But what baffles me is how there have been no incidents like the ones they’re (ostensibly) fearing. Not all regular joes who’ve been destroyed by Wall Street’s (and their own) greed and vanity are sitting in front of American Idol, simply because they don’t even have a TV anymore. For the life of me I don’t understand why some poor bastard who’s just lost job, wife, kids and home and has nothing left to lose hasn’t popped one of these fucks.
expat: 8/10
cwulf: 5/10
the Bloomberg article: 1/10 – only because it made me grin to see that GS employees are contributing the economy. Grin followed by eye roll %
Definitely an 8/10 Matt.
…and i find it kind of ironic, or maybe it points to some subconscious guilt on the part of Goldmanites? Not sure, but Obama said it was the poor who are clinging to Guns and Religion. But now with pronouncements from Lloyd “God’s Work” and then this? Are they trying to blend in with the villagers coming to skin them?
too fucking funny…
I think it’s a ten in the funny department, and it underscores how badly they underestimate the public’s anger. Between this, the flu shots, and “God’s work” Blankenfein, Matt, you could not have found an enemy with a worse PR department.
To me, the funny part is why these assholes think they need to arm themselves when they own the government anyway. Can you imagine the government response if a mob ever attacked Goldman or a Goldman employee?
I half expect Blankenfein to request that the government provide his employees secret service agents.
Hmmmm….? I guest they’ve never heard of remote car starters???
I would be interested to know what has actually happened, that the senior executives feel sufficiently threatened to buy guns. They’ve received nasty looks? Sarcasm? Someone in New York City threw the first stone and the report of the incident went viral? “Arm yourselves! The peasants are revolting!” I’m a little surprised they’d be willing to do the dirty work of self-protection. NYC is crawling with security people – hire someone!
On the funny scale, I give it a seven.
1. Turning into a forum on guns.
2. The urban respondents have contempt for anything to do with the things. Only armed urbanites are cops and gangbangers.
3. Guns are still tools of husbandry and folks close to the land (or closer) feel comfortable about them.
4. We’re talking hicks here and the traditional and accurate urban condescension towards their unsophisticated country cousins.
5. #’s 3 and 4 are over done and boring.
6. The notion of the Wall Street elite with metaphorical manure on their bespoke shoes is mildly funny. Think that’s where you were heading.
7. Stick to reporting. The humor will either take care of itself or not.
V/R JWest
This isn’t funny at all, it’s depressing. It seems to me you’d have to be pretty removed from reality, and thinking of all this mess as screenplay fodder or other such abstractions, to find much humor in it. The cost/benefit analysis is pretty bleak here. If I saw anyone laughing on the day a GS employee killed someone else or himself, or vice versa, I might have to pay a team of competition eaters to fart on them.
It has occurred to me what fun it would be to organize a group of about 50 people who would regularly stop by Goldman Sachs’ headquarters, step into the revolving door and pee. A couple times each morning and a couple times each afternoon. With enough frequency that they couldn’t keep up with it. When they were forced to impose more security and barricade the entrance, we would simply pee on the barricades. I just like the symbolism and the prospect of headlines like: IN TURNABOUT, GOLDMAN SACHS COMPLAINS THAT TAXPAYERS ARE PISSING ALL OVER IT.
5. At first I thought it was very funny, but then I thought, “yes, but something terrible will surely happen, with that number of armed, frightened bankers wandering around with ‘Death Wish’ fantasies.”
But then the number went up again, as I fondly recalled reading “Bonfire of the Vanities” in my adolescence. Whatever bad things happen, the ensuing show trial – with its attendant opportunistic grandstanding from all over New York’s already-hilariously dysfunctional political scene – is sure to be funny. That said, to reach that comedic fever pitch, someone’s going to have to die, or get injured pretty badly. So the number came down once again.
I’m surprised they didn’t just buy one gun, and then find a way for all 22,425 of their employees to claim ownership of it, eventually writing off the purchase of 22,425 guns and sticking the taxpayers with the bill.
Also, I would give the story a 9 for comedy, but if any of them actually get killed, I’ll bump it to a 10.
Investment bankers packing heat? Worried that they may encounter violence because of a back lash to news stories about their unethical business dealings, receipt of bailouts and immediate return to decadent compensation?
This is a 10. Hilarious. Nothing is funny about actual violence of course, or even the credible threat of violence.
Consider this: it’s plenty understood by the general public that if you’re a guy who ends up in prison and prefers not to fight to the death, you stand a good chance of being homosexually raped. That supposed fact also makes for frequent comedy in many sit-coms and police dramas.
The possibility of anyone’s ass being violated (especially mine) as a result of an unrelated interaction with law enforcement isn’t funny to me at all- but hey, that’s just me.
So I find it funny that some douche-bag who makes his living solely by siphoning off incremental portions of large speculative financial transactions is worried that guys like me might come after them. It’s at least as funny to me as lots of other people find prison rape.
You see folks like me have worked our asses off making, building, fixing or otherwise producing things for people our whole lives and not only have we been getting paid through a bean blower for ten years or more while these Goldman Sachs leeches have partied, our pensions, health care funds and retirement savings have just been nuked backwards 10 years.
What’s the first thing to happen when the direction of the economy changes just a butt hair toward the positive? Watch these unscrupulous fuckers give themselves big raises.
I picture these lily white handed, blue blooded cry babies flinching whenever a plumber reaches in his toolbox for a wrench, or the air conditioning guy calls him down to the basement. The bankers are now buying guns to potentially shoot these people should they feel endangered.
It’s kind of funny (in a tragic sort of way) because you can’t try, convict and execute these assholes, even when you catch one red handed. And I don’t think guys like Jeff Skilling will be horny enough to tap Bernie Madoff at the minimum security, white collar crime type jails these guys go to – and even if he was, that’s not funny.
You’re all missing the opportunity to vilify GS for the inevitable boost this will give to the real economy… the real economy.
Bankers don’t buy prole guns from Artie’s Gun-Shack-and-Stripper-Pole in East Peoria, they buy a $1200 Swiss Sig/Sauer 226R-SSE Elite in .357.
The investment strategy is called “Plutonomy,” and Taibbi has gone to great lengths to explain it in the past.
I think that the danger of these clowns actually using a gun without shooting themselves in the nuts is fairly slim.
“If they’ve done nothing wrong, they have nothing to worry about”…uh…but then, if they’re buying guns they must have a guilty conscience…but…uh…Goldman doesn’t have a conscience. hmmmm tsk tsk
Clinging to “doing God’s work and guns” sure fire way to succeed when all about you are falling fast?
Give that gun to the chairman, so he can continue shooting himself in the foot.
What a company…there aren’t words to describe them.
“If they’ve done nothing wrong, they have nothing to worry about”…uh…but then, if they’re buying guns they must have a guilty conscience…but…uh…Goldman doesn’t have a conscience. hmmmm tsk tsk
Clinging to “doing God’s work and guns” sure fire way to succeed when all about you are falling fast?
Give that gun to the chairman, so he can continue shooting himself in the foot.
What a company…there aren’t allowable words to describe them.
It is very funny and reminds me of the fear among Glenn Beck’s fans, his female fans in particular, for his personal safety, like some gaunt, tofu-fed Marxist commune-dweller has begun taking iron supplements so that in four months he’ll be able to pick up a gun. Losers.
I can’t believe that no-one has used
“The man with the Goldman gun” in this story somewhere.
It’s a little sad for the average person to know that someone else, no matter how much of an asshole they surely are, is under enough stress and anxiety to feel like they need a weapon. And that’s what separates the assholes at Goldman from the average person, GS doesn’t give a rats ass if anyone else is under stress and anxiety even when they cause it.
Isn’t it possible Goldman is going to aim those guns at themselves? Just think of it. Goldman people are bereft of such insignificant things such as Christ, conscience and country. The only thing that matters to them is money. And right now Goldman stands to lose THE most staggering source of money in its future – the ‘carbon credit’ bonanza. Obama, hand across his little ole heart, promised it to them with Cap and Trade. It would have brought in so many billions that the mortgage scam would have looked puny in comparison.
But what just happened? A Russian hacker blew that all up by exposing memos and docs that reveal ‘global warming’ to be a hoax – bodies are falling. They’ve already kicked the head of CRU to the curb and now the UN’s IPCC nuts are in the cracker. Any day now, Al’s larded butt will be fed to those hungry polar bears he claims to be so concerned about. Everyone’s losing their reputations – but Goldman’s losing something worse. Money.
Just think about it. That mansion in Oyster Bay, that Mercedes SLK Class, the private jet, the mistress you planned to buy and bonk before going home to the wife, etc. Gone, all gone. And that has to shake Goldman. I mean, if you believe in nothing but money, than losing the biggest source of graft money you’ve ever dreamed of just might make your little fingers reach for the gun.
If that’s the case, I insist those idiots use a Walther PPK 7.65 mm. If it was good enough for Hitler, it is definitely good enough for Blankfein.
RE:On the unfunny side: it’s never good when anyone buys guns, particularly not rich weenies with persecution complexes.
We would still be british if we didn’t buy guns…and have those oppressive british empire taxes…we fought to get away from….
A handgun wouldn’t do any good against a mass uprising, but could help against a (pick one) deranged homicidal maniac on a shooting spree/ informed, politically aware citizen.
The cynical side of me thinks they have it coming. The really cynical side of me thinks it’s a waste of ammo; the dead bankers would be replaced within hours to no overall effect. I haven’t heard from my idealistic side in a while.
matt you are such a leftwing pussy. you have really drunk the leftwing kool-aid.
i look forward to your blog posts and make sure to read every one of them. would love to have beers with you and engage in lively debate…but we would definitely disagree on this subject.
i recognize property crimes are on a different level from crimes of violence…but what the vampire squid fucks did to 300 million americans easily crosses the line into a territory where punishments should be along the lines of punishments typically reserved for rape and murder.
i know the US is a nation of laws, but there is also something called the “spirit” of the law, we used to hang a horsethief. GS stole a lotta horses.
Man, nothing says “let’s party together” quite like “you’re a left-wing pussy.”
In response to another comment. See in context »oh, matt, it’s a definite 10+
Goldman and tea baggers have more and more in common…delusional, self-important, herd-mentality…idiots all
Guns? Why? Do they not get that if/when the public come for them, it’s going to be en masse with pitch forks and torches? At least, that’s how the fantasy plays out in my head. Oh, and it’s got that German officer with the prosthetic arm from Young Frankenstein at the forefront, natch.
I gotta admit that I’m scraping the bottom of the schadenfreude barrel here: wistfully hoping that some reasonably prominent asshole bankster or two will do us all a favor and accidently harvest themselves while cleaning or otherwise (mis)handling their sparkly new deluxe iGuns with those cutting-edge killer apps.
This is a predator herd that badly needs substantial thinning, yet occupy eyries in the topmost limbs of the capitalist food chain impregnable to natural thinning mechanisms. So any little bit helps!
I am painfully aware that this type of vindictive thinking is contrary to the culturally prescribed festive holiday mood. Sorry about that.
It’s not the proudest and most edifying item on my Wish List. But here I stand; God help me; I can do no other: it’s on there.
Predator Herd? Predators can survive independently. GS is more like parasites. They would not exist without their investors (hosts)…….and the more they suck dry the stronger they get and the more future hosts they need.
In response to another comment. See in context »Mr. Taibbi,
through all of your thorough investigations into the wall street bailouts, has anyone been able to make a concrete case/reason/excuse as to why we didn’t invest the bailout money into the industry through the all of the shareholders who had lost their savings? those people didn’t do anything wrong. where’s their bailout?
i’m just curious if any politician or economist has listed a reason as to why that would’ve been a bad idea.
I share your surprise that we haven’t heard of acts of violence against Wall Street banksters. And if it were to happen today, would any of us feel too terribly about it tomorrow? Honestly, I think the only sadness I would feel would be for the poor bastard driven to the brink by their criminal activities, and any innocents (hopefully not) caught in the crossfire. Maybe it’s what’s needed to coalesce a mass uprising against the organized crime that masquerades as our financial system.
Matt, I read your article in the Dec 10 Rolling Stone. Pretty much made up my mind who I won’t be voting for in 2012 before I turned the first page.
Maybe the guns are just “Contingency Plan Z” for dealing with the unlikely scenario that some regulator makes it into their offices after having overcome the Rambo-like oddsin fighting past the defending ranks of politicians, lobbyists, Federal Reserve goons, media shills and last line, in-house mercenary squads of Wolverine Corporate Lawyers.
Almost sounds like the villain of a 007 flick, “Goldman, The man with the Golden gun!”
or one may even use this story to rename it as “Gunman Sucks”
I wholeheartedly encourage this.
Especially if they’re too lazy to get trained.
Because an untrained shooter is more likely to do something stupid that they saw in the movies and have their weapon seized and turned on them. This may be the only justice we get, given how in the tank all politicians and regulators are.
As a great American philosopher once said, “There’s no justice like vigilante justice!”
Really this is hilarious. I put it at 8/10 on the funny scale. For piece of mind, they should just the money back, and try to be better people. Better than looking over your shoulder the rest of your life.
It’s interesting to watch a congregation of ostensibly intelligent people engage in such back-slapping philosophical hypocrisy. This very same sadistic mentality is shared by those assholes at GS. It is how they rationalize being thieves and liars, and how you rationalize revenge by way of violence. These people at GS are still people. Fear and anger tells you they are lesser demons standing next in line to lick the balls of Mephistopheles, but could a group this with-it really believe in the provincial concepts of good and evil? The gaiety in your fantasy of inflicting pain on others reminds me of a book burning party, or the Enron execs, who when notified of the California wildfires (positioning them to completely vitiate the entire state’s economy), gleefully cried, “Burn baby, burn!”
[...] of bonuses.” Gothamist is loving it. The SEUI is using it as a rallying point for protest. Matt Taibbi thinks it’s hilarious. All of this attention may be what led Bloomberg to run a four-minute interview with Schroeder [...]
The Goldman folks are not the only ones…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxtXUvtaaPM
The mental image of GS employees laughing and and patting one another and chest bumping after target practice is a little more than disturbing.
Keep up pointing out the obvious.
“Great Derangement” was damn fine too.
I can’t believe that no one has used the
“Man with the Goldman gun” line yet.
Don’t think anyone needs to worry about getting knee-capped by a Goldman employee.
It’s looting they’re good at, not shooting.
[...] Goldman Sachs Arms Itself [...]
I find it utterly astonishing that not one unemployed, red-blooded Amurikun gun nut has tried to barge into 85 Broad Street and unload on the Goldman crew. But then, it’s been said that psychopaths habitually go after the wrong target. So instead we grieve for a dead museum guard, for office workers, for a church congregation, for an entire family of innocents. Kind of throws the theory of Karma up against the wall and blows a big hole in it, huh?
You gotta think in prior lives, dog. In karma terms, this means it’s the next lifetime for the GS muckety-mucks.
In response to another comment. See in context »Matt, I understand your initial ambivalence about the relative hilarity of Hedgehogs Packing Heat. To the extent that any G-Sers are purchasing weapons out of a true fear of being assaulted by a random investor gone postal, it is indeed not only 10/10 funny, but also the source of rare Goldman Sachs-directed schadenfreude. However, to the extent that the purchase of said weapons (no doubt high-end, extremely destructive pieces) is merely an extension of the typical “Don’t Fuck With Me Cuz I’m King of the World You Little Pissant Prole” Goldman-Sachs mindset, it’s not very funny at all, but instead just the usual despicable overly-entitled behavior that pisses us little people off.
Personally, both because the gun buying spree is of such recent vintage, and because it amuses me, I choose to believe that the GS d-bags are in fact scared shitless and constantly looking over their shoulders for some random granny to deliver their well-deserved comeuppance.
Maybe GS are buying guns perhaps not because of past actions, but a future they expect?
‘Rule 48′ was invoked with the stock market in late November and a couple times future markets were closed for 3 hr intervals. Not much of this in MSM. In the midst, a rumour of an Ukraine default on a railway bond, and on Thanksgiving holiday the news about Dubai is released.
You can almost feel the undercurrent of heightened anxiety.
Although there is a strong sense of irony here, this is sad rather than funny. There is a logical perverseness in events that the human mind responds to as humorous or funny. This certainly obtains here. Unfortunately, the underlying moral perverseness definitively qualifies this as tragic rather than comic. What person (who does not wish to be scorned) will openly admit to finding genuine pleasure in something that has its roots in the morally execrable?
So, while it might be cute that these soulless whores are afraid of their just desserts, the underlying incongruity reveals the scope of the tragedy. Schadenfreude aside – the pleasure gained from their just paranoia comes only at the cost of a comparatively large amount of pain inflicted on every person (directly or indirectly) whether they enjoy a brief chuckle or not. At the root of most laughter is tension and our need to release it. The underlying tension here is built on a tragic premise.
And what of the ironic aspect of this so called laugh? Why would we think it ironic that a swindler would have to arm himself against his enraged suckers? Because swindlers used to get run out of town, tarred and feathered, or hanged. We, the tragic heroes of this tale, have become conditioned to accept the criminality of those who wear the mantle of authority. Our helplessness to fight those who would steal our nation under the guise of Capitalism and Democracy has become so complete that we can only laugh and point as they buy protection with our money. Those who have something to worry about can afford better protection than a simple firearm (think politicians and sanctioned goons), which itself is somewhat significant (and certainly provides them with protection from their protection just in case).
So, yes, by all means – you should all have a hearty chuckle about this. Go on back to your jobs and pay your taxes and keep your mouths shut. It doesn’t matter that more than half your wealth has just been stolen from you, along with many of your old rights that used to be guaranteed under past interpretations of The Constitution. I agree with our overlords and their new interpretation of The Constitution. I was getting pretty tired of the rights extended to me under The Bill of Rights. I rather enjoy perpetual war, insanely high taxes (to come), government partnership with party approved criminals, and general exploitation of the populace. Good times.
way back when i was in grade school, i asked my father, “why do the psychos always shoot good people like martin luther king and gandhi, but not bad people like hitler or stalin?” my father’s answer was, “because psychos LIKE hitler and stalin, that’s why.”
therein lies the answer why some unemployed teabagger gun-nut hasn’t already taken a shot at any Goldman Sachs employee and never will.
“On the unfunny side: it’s never good when anyone buys guns…”
Never? Really… Im no fan of GS, but you might consider.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtg3MwvYfEE&feature=related
On the funny side, there are several things to consider.
There’s the image of liberal guys walking into Whole Foods nervously grabbing at their holstered handbags as they buy fair trade coffee and organic soy waffles.
There’s the idea some of these “Manly-Men” might actually think that they’re going to lead a proletarian rebellion by blogging from their Annandale-on-Hudson dorm room.
There’s even the impossible-to-resist image of a future accidental parable of wisdom shooting forth from digital quill…
I would give this a 1 if it is true. If anything it’s evidence of guilt. Not in the remorseful sense, but of the legal variety. Not that there will be any justice. TBTF.
Is this real? Are we to believe that dumb, uneducated, poor, minority heavy corporate execs; who take the bus/train/pub trans everyday to work, are buying guns to protect themselves?
Matt, et al., this website and your columns are amazing. I can only dream to have the view point and perspective (big picture) you have, but this?
I’m sorry im confused please explain this article again?
I’m ringing the bs/disinformation horn on this.
Cheney obviously had a gun before today.
Final note: Matt you ROCK keep it up!
So the story turns out to be completely untrue: http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2009/12/are_goldman_sachs_bankers_real.html