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Oct. 16 2009 - 9:26 am | 230 views | 6 recommendations | 40 comments

There’s always room for Goldman Sachs (at the SEC)

The Securities and Exchange Commission hired a 29-year-old former employee in Goldman Sachs Group Inc.’s business intelligence unit as the first chief operating officer in the agency’s enforcement division, according to people familiar with the decision.

via SEC unit hires ex-Goldman Sachs worker as chief operating officer — latimes.com.

Could life get any better? Really, aren’t things just about as good as they can possibly get at this point?


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  1. collapse expand

    From the LA Times article, “His new job is to make the SEC’s enforcement division more efficient.”

    Uhm… Hello?

    Note to SEC… y’all might want to actually hire someone who’ll make sure that Goldman’s actions are on the up-and-up, not someone who will fast track an investigation in the name of “efficiency.”

  2. collapse expand

    Not to worry. Sources tell me that Adam Storch is related to Larry Storch who played Agarn on F-Troop. He and Sgt O’Roarke are gonna clean this mess up.

  3. collapse expand

    Maybe this is a “come to Jesus” moment. Now, all we have to figure out is who is playing the role of Jesus and who is the convert.

  4. collapse expand

    Please tell me this is from an Onion article.

  5. collapse expand

    29?? COO??? GS???

    Brings to mind, Commander Wrong Way Peach-Fuzz from Rocky the Flying Squirrel. At least that was funny.

  6. collapse expand

    Not only is he young, look at his meager credentials:

  7. collapse expand

    Well, they do say, “Set a thief to catch a thief.”

  8. collapse expand

    Say, did this guy win the Nobel Peace Prize too? I’m getting soooo confused lately.

    Gee whiz, I remember when they used to hire real criminal masterminds at the SEC (Joseph Kennedy) and real guys of integrity (William Douglas, Landes), whatever became of the good ole days?

    Oh yeah, all those Running Dogs of Wall Street: Bernanke, Paulson (GS), Greenspan (Ayn Rand Home for the Mentally Challenged), Summers (“It’s only over when the extremely fat guy sings..”), Geithner (from the “I heart Henry Kissinger Club”), Gensler (GS), Tyson (Morgan Stanley), Richard Holbrooke (AIG & “Haven’t we attacked Iran yet Club?”), and so on and so on…….

    What was that Obama Campaign slogan?

    “Yes, we’ve been canned!”

  9. collapse expand

    Fox, meet hen house. I’m sure you’ll be the best of friends.

    • collapse expand

      I have only my 20 years of service with a major SF law firm to go by in judging this Storch kid. But from my experience there was only one reason an attorney left my old firm to go into government service – the attorney couldn’t cut it at the firm. There were usually a myriad of reasons – the attorney either screwed up a case or wrote lousy memos or didn’t get the billable hours, etc. Whatever. The bottom line was that he just-wasn’t-smart-enough. That was why, whenever any of us heard that an attorney was leaving the firm to join the government, our immediate reaction was always – ‘poor bastard wasn’t smart enough to cut it here’. Trust me, a government job was a serious step down. And not just because of significantly lower pay.

      I note also the age of this Storch kid. That fits the scenario at my old firm as well. You know, joining the firm straight out of law school, working a few years and then getting the boot because he can’t cut it. And, of course, if one private firm ousts the kid, none of the others will want him either. Which means there was only one place for the dumb jerk to go – government. Humiliating. (Which is obviously why the kid didn’t return the media’s phone call.)

      In response to another comment. See in context »
      • collapse expand

        We can always hope that Storch was removed because he wouldn’t comply with nefarious policies. Wouldn’t it be nice if he had an axe to grind, and knew where to fing the information?

        It’s not that I’m holding my breath, just breathlessly searching for a silver lining.

        In response to another comment. See in context »
  10. collapse expand

    I love when politicians and pundits argue that only these people are truly capable of understanding this field, so their hands are tied. I think we should extend this philosophy to all fields. Maybe borrow Gary Glitter to run our children’s protection stuff and finger Courtney Love as the new Drug Czar. Metaphorically, of course. Want to keep your finger after all.

    On the plus side, at least our new evil overlords are competent now, though I’m not sure this is a good thing. Remember the last eight years, when all the B Teamers were pulled straight out of Liberty University, Regent School of Law, Bob Jones and the like? Yeah, good times!

  11. collapse expand

    Can we murder them in their sleep now? ha ha, just kidding?

  12. collapse expand

    Summer intern to VP at GS in 4 years….truly we are living in a Great Meritocracy! I am certain this Wunderkind COO will whip the SEC right into shape.

    What amazing times we live in.

    • collapse expand

      The hoi polloi probably read all these titles and think they’re real, like the bonuses. You can’t drop a turd in a financial institution without hitting a VP, but it probably doesn’t register with the silent majority. This guy is the titular equivalent of the manager of an individual Wal Mart store.

      In response to another comment. See in context »
      • collapse expand

        I understand the plethora of bs VP titles in financial institutions, but somehow that’s not making me feel better that this guy is now COO of the SEC enforcement division, as part of “the unit’s biggest overhaul in three decades.”

        Best quote from the story, by far: “The new operating chief, Adam Storch, had worked since 2004 in a Goldman unit that reviewed contracts and transactions for signs of fraud.”


        In response to another comment. See in context »
        • collapse expand

          Right, I was more echoing your point and adding on that it’s not amazing just in terms of the crony capitalism, but in that we’re hiring the equivalent of a third string crony capitalist to such an important position. It’s so obvious, too, because there’s no reason a Wall Street wunderkind takes a low paying government job in regulatory enforcement unless there’s an arrangement or he’s suddenly found God. Since only people in prison suddenly find God, I’ll go with the former.

          In response to another comment. See in context »
    • collapse expand

      Off topic I suppose, but you reminded me of a great line from Mad Men.

      Don Draper: Kennedy: nouveau riche, recent immigrant who bought his way into Harvard. And now he’s well-bred? Great. Nixon is from nothing. A self-made man, the Abe Lincoln of California, who was Vice President of the United States six years after getting out of the Navy. Kennedy? I see a silver spoon. Nixon? I see myself.

      In response to another comment. See in context »
  13. collapse expand

    I can’t blanking believe it. It appears Obama is determined to go down in history as the man who sold out America to a politburo of 100 white men in NYC… Please Matt tell us it ain’t so.

  14. collapse expand

    I’m living in Russia and was having a conversation within a Russian woman today on the differences between politics in the U.S. and here. We decided that the Russians don’t even bother to make it appear as if the follow the values they talk about, while the Americans at least make a show of it. Really though, reading this makes me think the U.S. is becoming more like Russia. It’s a complete farce.

  15. collapse expand

    Doesn’t William Black need a gig?

  16. collapse expand

    This is minor stuff: a not-particularly senior GS person has been hired as the COO of an SEC division. He’s not going to be investigating anything – that’s not what a COO does. A COO runs the day-to-day operational aspects of a business. The level of anti-GS sentiment is simply absurd.

    • collapse expand

      Indeed. It’s exasperating that the mosquito-like, incendiary slander from hacks like Taibbi have tarnished GS to an extent where the gullible and ignorant believe it stands for “Gutpile Scavengers” instead of “Gentleman Swindlers”!

      In response to another comment. See in context »
    • collapse expand

      Yeah, I mean the guy’s just been hired to run “a division” he won’t actually be doing anything in the position, certainly he won’t have any influence. Also, it’s not like it’s a key division charged with serious oversight duties or anything, because THEN there would be something worth noting!

      Shame on you Mssr. Taibbi. Shame.

      In response to another comment. See in context »
  17. collapse expand

    We really are screwed. Even with a bright president nothing much changes. We need a another check in the system to offset the corrupting influence of money. Unfortunately, the only people who could change anything are the ones profitting from the way it is now.

  18. collapse expand

    Hey, wait a minute!– this wunderkind’s photo looks like a heavily Photoshopped head shot of Michael J. Fox, from his “Alex Keaton” days at “Family Ties”.

  19. collapse expand

    This kid went to the Leonard Stern school of business? Wasnt he the Executive Producer of Get Smart? Agent 86 will be on the case. “Would you believe, 2 trillion”?

  20. collapse expand

    FANTASTIC new story in the latest Rolling Stone (Wall Stree Swindle)

    The Taibbi strikes again, giving the masses a highly readable article on the absolute corruption surrounding and destroying us.


  21. collapse expand

    Matt please ask Mary Schapiro or H.David Kotz or Adam Storch for their proof that Goldman Sachs was ‘naked shorted’.If you get an answer whethewr it IS proof or proves they have been pulling our middle legs I believe it would be the business story of a life time and even better because you are not a professional business journalist yourself.WSJ of Rupert Murdoch has failed(on purpoe)Bloomberg has failed(on purpose)Forbes has failed(on purpose),so you have every right to be confused but just ask them their proof that Sachs shares and Fannie Mae’s shares and Freddie Mac’s shares were ‘naked shorted’ and any answer you get will be a scoop guaranteed ! They certainly wouldn’t answer a defrauded investor-sucker such as myself who really believed Endovasc was ‘naked shorted’ in 2003.Now I know it was a lie.Don’t you ? Please ask them.

    Are you sure that Goldman Sachs’ Adam Storch hasn’t been brought to the
    SEC for the express purpose of tracking down the evil naked shorting
    ‘Sith Lord’ that has caused not only Goldman Sachs but also AIG and
    Daiwa Securities Group Inc and BNP Paribas Securities Corp. and Bank
    of America Corporation and Barclays PLC and Citigroup Inc. and Credit
    Suisse Group and Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc. and Merrill Lynch &
    Co., Inc. and Mizuho Financial Group and …. well just see the list(as it was posted by ex Securities Exchange Commisioner Christopher Naked Shorts Cox on the official sec.gov stock fraud tout board below shortly before he slipped out the back door without so much as a goodbye). How did he forget to mention the UK’s Northern Rock on that list which may have been the first UK stock in history whose collapse was blamed on ‘naked short selling’ !? (If they mentioned all the penny
    stocks listed or claiming to be ‘naked shorted’ since James Dale Davidson founded NAANSS or National Association Against Naked Short Selling in 2002 the list
    would be as long as the Bible’s who begat who list !)
    Did you know even 9/11 ‘heroe’ Bernie Kerick’s and the other good folks at Taser
    Stun Gun Corp had their shares ‘naked shorted’ by the Sith Lord as well ? And Carl Icahn’s and Paul Singer’s and Saudi arms dealer Adnan Khashoggi’s GenesisIntermedia appear to have been among the first victims of this wave of naked shorting on or around 9/11 !(At least according to naked short conspiracy theorist David Patch of investigatethesec.con who has personal private consultations with Inspector General H.David Kotz as if he is a VIP like Bernie Madoff although victims of their naked shorting’ lie such as myself never get a hearing !)

    As ex SEC Chairman Christopher ‘Naked Shorts’ Cox has already
    explained in 2008 on the sec.gov penny stock tout board poor
    Goldman Sachs was the victim of a vicious naked shorting attack last
    year presumably by the ‘Sith Lord’ already identified by
    Overstock.con’s Patrick Byrne years ago.The good Utah Moron Senators
    Orin Hatch and Bob Bennett have been on the case ever since and now
    AIPAC Senators Carl Levin,Arlen ‘Magic Bullet’ Specter,
    Jon Tester,Chuck Grassley,et.al. have all joined in the hunt and Mary
    Schapiro has already promised to give the search for the naked short
    selling ‘Sith Lord’ her priority over everything else including ‘black
    trading pools’ (that like illegal pump and dump and insider trading and manipulation the SEC never prosecutes can look precisely like what is often erroneously blamed
    on ‘naked short selling’),that she found emanating from Bernie Madoff’s old and now the Dubai Sheikh Mohamed Al Rashid’s ‘new’ NASDAQ,etc..
    Does anyone know if this Sith Lord is connected to Osama bin Laden’s
    Al Qaeda ? Nonetheless I believe the selection of Mr. Storch by Mary
    Schapiro and no doubt endorsed by Chris Cox’s hand picked IG H.David
    Kotz who has also dedicated his SEC career to the search of the evil
    Naked Short Selling Sith Lord is all part of the plan to bring Him to
    justice and recoup to grave financial losses he inflicted on Goldman
    Sachs,et.al. last year. Don’t you ?
    Those who do not question the naked short selling lie and cover up of international collusion of shares fraudulently clamed below as victims of ‘naked shorting’ that made Goldman Sachs insiders richer than ever and James Dale Davidson’s and Patrick Byrne’s role though their NAANSS and NCANS websites and the National Tapayers Union of James Davidson and Steve Forbes and the Agora Inc penny stock holding and dumping company of Jim Davidson,Bill Bonner and the great American patriot Lord William Rees-Mogg of England will never uncover what really
    caused the syphoning of perhaps trillions of dollars out of the U.S.economy to anonymous offshore accounts.
    Pity poor Goldman Sachs and Adam Storch whose shares were ‘naked shorted’ by the ‘Sith Lord’ according to the SEC and now Storch IS THE SEC but will he ever find that ‘Sith Lord’ who ‘naked shorted’ Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac ? Why does Rahm Emanuel remain silent as the SEC lies about ‘naked short selling’ ?


    Washington, D.C., July 15, 2008 – The Securities and Exchange
    Commission today issued an emergency order to enhance investor
    protections against “naked” short selling in the securities of Fannie
    Mae, Freddie Mac, and primary dealers at commercial and investment

    “The SEC’s mission to protect investors, maintain orderly markets, and
    promote capital formation is more important now than it has ever
    been,” said SEC Chairman Christopher Cox. “Today’s Commission action
    aims to stop unlawful manipulation through ‘naked’ short selling that
    threatens the stability of financial institutions….’

    The securities identified in the Commission’s order:

    Company Ticker Symbol(s)
    BNP Paribas Securities Corp. BNPQF or BNPQY
    Bank of America Corporation BAC
    Barclays PLC BCS
    Citigroup Inc. C
    Credit Suisse Group CS

    Daiwa Securities Group Inc. DSECY
    Deutsche Bank Group AG DB
    Allianz SE AZ
    Goldman, Sachs Group Inc GS
    Royal Bank ADS RBS
    HSBC Holdings PLC ADS HBC and HSI
    J. P. Morgan Chase & Co. JPM
    Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc. LEH
    Merrill Lynch & Co., Inc. MER
    Mizuho Financial Group, Inc. MFG
    Morgan Stanley MS
    Freddie Mac FRE
    Fannie Mae FNM

  22. collapse expand

    Well, I for one, can’t find a single mention of this Adam Storch online that doesn’t include the words “vampire squid”.

  23. collapse expand

    I’m reeling. How long can this go on? Has the Administration any integrity left at this point?

    • collapse expand

      “..any integrity left..”

      You are kidding, right? I mean, after looking at his campaign advisors (Robert Rubin, et al.) as well as the vast majority of his appointments (O.K., there WAS Van Jones and two others as window dressing, and we know what happend to Van, but puuuylease…): Diana Farrell (who actually wrote the book on [American jobs] “Offshoring”), Laura Tyson, Herb Allison, Richard Holbrooke, Robert Hormats, Gene Sperling, Peter Orzsag, Mona Sutphen, Rahm Emanuel, and, oh yeah….is Henry Kissinger still his special envoy to Russia????

      In response to another comment. See in context »
  24. collapse expand

    Matt — OT

    In your Rolling Stone article on Naked Shorts, how did you come up with the example of the “foreign money printing machine?”

    Jake Sky

  25. collapse expand

    Matt, I’m not quite sure why you have not sought the insights of Mike Stathis on the banking scams and naked short selling. He is the leading expert in this mess. Why is the media ignoring this guy? It’s unbelievable.

    Have you read his SEC complaint on WaMu?

  26. collapse expand

    Elizabeth Warren for President in 2012? Fantastic. She is totally in touch with what needs to be done. Yeah, let’s talk it up and maybe someone in the DNC or the White House will take note that many Progressives are seething in their frustrations with the Washingtonian “Club” that Obama has seemingly has joined.

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    I'm a political reporter for Rolling Stone magazine, a sports columnist for Men's Journal, and I also write books for a Random House imprint called Spiegel and Grau.

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