How the English Handle Injured Squirrels
In Los Angeles, when we stumble upon an injured squirrel we wait patiently by its side for hours until an animal control expert can ferry it to an emergency squirrel clinic.
The Guardian shows us how the English roll.
How to make squirrel pasties
Kevin Viner’s recipe for two pasties140g squirrel meat cut into 1cm cubes;
100g sliced potato; 100g sliced swede; 50g diced onion; 30g smoked bacon;
15g chopped hazelnuts; 75g butter;
5g chopped parsley; a good pinch of salt and pepper
Method
· Egg wash edges of pastry circles.
· Place the potato, swede, hazelnuts, parsley and seasoning on to each circle followed by the bacon, squirrel meat and, finally, the onion.
· Place butter in each pasty, then fold over the pastry and crimp the edges.
· Put the pasties on to a greaseproof baking tray, egg wash both pasties well, place in a pre-heated oven at 180C or gas mark 5.
· Bake for 45-50 minutes. The juices should start to boil and the pasties should be able to move on the tray with ease.

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I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
Don’t knock it until you try it. The Guardian says it tastes like a cross between duck and lamb. That might not be bad…right…?
In response to another comment. See in context »“100g sliced swede”
Ah, so that’s how the English handle homeless Swedes!