Maybe Sandra Bullock & Kate Winslet’s hubbies weren’t feeling appreciated
Actresses Sandra Bullock and Kate Winslet are having marriage trouble, generating rumors of an Oscar-winner’s curse, reported by the LA Times (below.) These women have it all – they’re gorgeous, talented, smart, successful, and as far as I can see, fun. What could possibly motivate their husbands to stray?
Perhaps the guys haven’t been feeling appreciated.
I’ve been doing research for an article I’m writing for Make it Better Magazine about what men really want from their wives and partners. It hasn’t been easy; guys aren’t comfortable talking about their needs. Being needy is a sissy thing.
But when the stoic clams finally open up, the thing they all say they want more of from their mate isn’t sex (well, they wouldn’t mind) – it’s appreciation. They want to be recognized for their work, their contribution to the family, and they want to feel valued for being, well, the man.
According to Marriage and Family Therapist David Klow, for some successful men, home can be the place they feel the least validated. They spend their days in high-powered careers commanding respect and admiration, then come home to their family where they are treated as incompetents. Klow calls this the “King of the Boardroom, Jester of the Bedroom” syndrome.
I’m not saying Bullock and Winslet have treated their husbands like fools – Hollywood marriages have unique pressures of their own. I’m just pointing out that while men may not always be the best communicators, they have emotional needs just like we women do.
Maybe we owe it to them to pay more attention.
Just days after last year’s Oscar winner Kate Winslet announced her split with hubby Sam Mendes comes news that the marriage of the newest champ, Sandra Bullock, may be on the rocks. In Touch Weekly reports that Bullock’s hubby, Jesse James, had an affair on the sly while Bullock was filming “The Blind Side.”
Now Oscarologists wonder: Is there really a kiss of death curse associated with winning best actress?
Over the past 12 years, eight of the best-actress champs busted up with their lovers after winning: Kate Winslet (won for 2008), Reese Witherspoon (2005), Hilary Swank (1999, 2005), Charlize Theron (2003), Halle Berry (2001), Julia Roberts (2000), Gwyneth Paltrow (1998), Helen Hunt (1997). Five of the splits occurred less than a year after their Oscar triumphs (Winslet from hubby Mendes, Witherspoon from hubby Ryan Phillippe, Swank from hubby Chad Lowe, Paltrow from boyfriend Ben Affleck, Roberts from boyfriend Benjamin Bratt). Berry’s break-up with Eric Benet occurred 18 months after winning; Hunt split with Hank Azaria less than two years later.
It’s ironic, looking back, at how effusively the stars gushed at the Oscar podium while thanking their men on the eve of their relationship’s end.
Witherspoon: “I want to say thank you to my wonderful husband.”
Swank in 2005: “Chad, you’re my everything. Thank you for your support. It means the world.”
Berry: “My husband, who is the joy of my life.”
Bullock to James: “You get dressed up in monkey suits and you sit at a table with people you don’t know. I love you so much, and you’re really hot. And I want you so much!”
Can it be a mere coincidence that these women’s romantic lives go kaput so soon after the biggest triumph of their careers? Is it because victory goes to their heads and these women become impossible divas to live with? Or is it because their men are overly macho types who can’t tolerate being upstaged by their female partner’s success? The latter may be a contributing factor in the split of Witherspoon and Phillippe. There were reports that Phillippe looked miserable and pouted all night at the parties — where he obviously didnt want to be — after Witherspoon won. Ryan should’ve exulted in his own victory too. That same night his film “Crash” won best picture, but he didn’t win a statuette himself. Some observers believe that bothered him a lot as Reese flashed her glittering golden boy right and left, leaving her lover boy sitting alone in a corner, looking downcast.