Since his son’s January 2009 death, Travolta has been reclusive, thanking the public for their support once or twice but mainly grieving in private. In his few public statements broadcast via his website, not once did John talk about his faith or his reliance or non-reliance on it. For such an outspoken Scientologist, his silence on the subject is notable. Why, then,  should his “representative” so vigorously reaffirm John’s commitment to Scientology,”now and forever”? Me thinks the lady doth protest too much.

Scientologists are notorious for surrounding themselves with fellow members of the intergalactic tribe, and it seems likely that John’s affirmation of faith did not reflect his words or his sentiment. Given that the church may have insinuated that John and Kelly Preston’s “negative influences” somehow contributed to Jett’s death, I would imagine that John is not in the mood to jump to his fake religion’s defense. If John is being blackmailed by Scientology, whatever “terrible” secrets he revealed in his conveniently videotaped confidential auditing sessions cannot be worse than the anguish of living with a gag order.

Hailey Glassman on left with BB gun aimed at friend's head. Admittedly mature for her age.

On Jon & Kate, Jon noted that now that he and Kate have filed for divorce, he finally feels free to be the man he always wanted to be. Judging by his NYC Trump Place bachelor pad, taste in barely legal women and ridiculous Ed Hardy t-shirts, that man is Night at the Roxbury. His attempt to recapture his youth is painful for viewers to watch and will be even more painful for his children to see when they get older. Jon may be young at heart, but at age 32 with eight children, hair plugs and an upcoming divorce, he can never be young again.

Arguably the most baffling question that has emerged in all of this is, how did Michael manage to surround himself with such a coterie of loons?  The characters that have come forward to opine on all things Michael are candidates for the cast of Surreal Life: Deepak Chopra, Mallika Chopra, Uri Geller, Liza Minelli, Corey Feldman, Miko Brando, Debbie Rowe, Liz Taylor and even Bubbles the Chimp’s caretaker. And depending on which “Friend of Michael” you listen to, MJ was either healthy or drug addled, misguided or naive, sincere or manipulative, a great entertainer or the greatest one.

Their dizzying statements leave the public more confused than ever, but I suppose that the insanity surrounding MJ’s death gives us a little taste of what the chaos that raged within  him and about him felt like. We may never get answers to all our Michael-related questions, and that may be in part because Michael himself may not have known them.

In 2008, she launched her insulting weekly newsletter, GOOP , which recommends that readers “Make, Go, Get, Do, Be and See” various things with the goal of “nourish[ing] the inner aspect.” Things that help to nourish from within? Burberry trenchcoats, nautical stripes and cupping.

Gwyneth’s latest statements to the Associate Press have sent her into that self-righteous bastard territory inhabited only by her best friend, Madonna. Here are Gwyneth’s thoughts on Spain:

“It is so different from the United States. It seemed to have a history, and the buildings are years and years and years old. Here in the United States an old building is about 17 (years old), and over there it’s from 500 B.C., it’s incredible.”

Right now, the docents at Monticello are stabbing their voodoo dolls. In the distant, a Puritan weeps softly. Interestingly, Gwyneth’s Wikipedia page notes that she dropped out of UC Santa Barbara after briefly studying art history. They must have gotten to the “history” part after she left.

Gwyneth also opines authoritatively on the difference between Spanish and U.S. culture:

“Also, the way people live over there. They seem to enjoy life a little bit more. They aren’t running around as much as in New York. They enjoy time with the family. They don’t always have their BlackBerry on.”

That’s easy for Gwyneth to say, considering she probably has three iPhones and her personal assistant reads her emails aloud in iambic pentameter anyway. She needs to stop doling out the life advice like she’s some sort of bodhisattva when it’s apparent that she’s just an ignorant and spoiled brat. I would email her myself to tell her this, but I think her BlackBerry is off.

By now, you’ve no doubt heard the news of the tragic passing of the King of Pop, Michael Jackson. Pop music has not not seen this kind of loss since the death of the other King, Elvis Presley, in 1977. If Elvis is really dead, that is.

It’s no secret that Michael faced serious financial problems in recent years and given Michael’s penchant for wearing wigs, sunglasses, face masks and new faces altogether, is it just a matter of time until true fans of MJ insist he’s still alive? Is he in New Orleans with Tupac?

People often don’t want to let go when a cultural icon dies because the death leaves a terrible void in pop culture. Nobody was there to take over grunge music when Kurt Cobain died, and nobody is here to assume the Pop throne vacated by MJ.

Many will find comfort in his amazing music, but for some diehard fans, myself included, that may not be enough. For the latter group, the only way to grieve is to give Michael immortality as best as we mortals know how – by hoping against hope that he is still here somewhere, alive and moonwalking.

Words seem inadequate to eulogize the man who wrote “Billie Jean,” “PYT” and “Thriller.” His later music got a bad rap, so to speak, but perhaps that was a function of his controversial personal life.  In this country you are innocent until proven guilty, and at this time of grief and heightened discussion of Michael’s career, it is important to remember that he was never convicted of molestation.  Would Liza Minelli, Elizabeth Taylor and Macaulay Culkin really be friends with a sexual predator? Let’s get real here.

Last week Ed McMahon, today Farrah and Michael.  Star Search must be recruiting in heaven. Rest in peace, Michael. We love you.

Positive thoughts and prayers to Michael and his family. As the tearful small boy with the candle at the beginning of one of MJ’s videos says, “I love you, Michael.”

You are not alone.

On Wednesday, a judge ordered an injunction banning the release of any sexually explicit footage featuring the reality star, 46, and ex Stephen Zalewski, 27.

….Staub – who was present at court Wednesday – has filed a lawsuit against Zalewski, claiming that he is trying to get back at her and her two daughters after she dumped him last year.

Lesson learned: if you’re a celebrity, there is no such thing as safe sex.

via News – Real Housewives’ Danielle Blocks Release of Sex Tape | Usmagazine.com.

It’s of course possible that Meester released the tape herself for the free publicity. She has a dance album “dropping” soon (Lord have mercy) and two movies coming out later this year. But on the off chance that she did not want this tape getting out, why did she even make it? Sex tapes are all well and good if you have no aspirations of becoming a famous actor and no one has any interest in seeing you naked, but if there is even a remote possibility that you will make it big one day, why take the risk? I’ve repeatedly urged celebrities to heed my warnings – Don’t take small planes! Don’t go skiing! Don’t make sex tapes! – and time after time they ignore me and die or get embarrassed.

Also, when did making sex tapes become normal? Seriously.

“I have always believed that beauty comes from within and confidence will always make a woman beautiful, but I know how much pressure some women put on themselves to look perfect,” she said in a statement Monday.

“I am really looking forward to discovering how beauty is perceived in different cultures and participating in some of the crazy things people do to feel beautiful,” she continued. “I know we will all learn a lot on this journey and I am so excited that VH1 is coming along on what I’m sure will be a wild ride.”

No word yet on whether the show will address the price of Jessica’s breast implants, upper lid blepharoplasty, lip injections and nosejob. True beauty, it seems, comes from within the surgeon’s office.

via It’s Official! Jessica Simpson Lands Another Reality Show – UsMagazine.com