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Feb. 12 2010 - 4:52 am | 3,444 views | 1 recommendation | 16 comments

Light my fire: 2010 Olympic torchbearer revealed?

Olympic Torchbearer Trevor

Olympic Torchbearer Trevor

The 2010 Olympic Games are about to begin! (did you know that?) And you know, you can keep your gold medals. You can keep your puck bunnies. You can keep your IOC Presidents.

The real star of the show is the anointed “Greatest Celebrity in the Whole Damn Country,” the extra-super-special Torchbearer who gets to light the Olympic flame during the opening ceremonies. As you may know, the Olympics are being held in Vancouver.

That’s Vancouver, BC, not Vancouver, Washington, which is very nice and which according to a friend of mine has a lovely restaurant where Frank Sinatra was taken after a show back when JFK was president and everything was glossy and new, and was being snotty and threw his tagliatelle or whatever it was (I just like typing “tagliatelle,” it’s lyrical even in QWERTY) at somebody just to show off what a star he was, which brings us back to the central point of this blog post, which I’m sure you’ve all long since given up on.

Who, pray tell, is the biggest Canadian celebrity?

Truly hath the poet said: In the States, celebrities need crowd control. In Canada, they need nametags.

Indeed: how can a nation of pathologically unassuming lumberjacks and folksingers possibly provide anything approaching the glittering spectacle put on by Beijing only two years ago? Lip-synching lumberjack chorus lines? CGA fireworks supplied by Electronic Arts? A Coca-Cola-sponsored Polar Bear Musical Ride?

Let’s face it: when it comes to Grand Celebrity Poo-bah, the pickings are rather slim.


But, seriously, it’s time we looked at the few (in fact, the tiny handful) of Canuckistanis who could draw a crowd on their own merits. Who among them can be called pre-eminent?

There can be only one.

The Shat.

The Shat is The Shit.

If that man doesn’t materialize via transporter beam at the Opening Ceremonies twelve hours from now (more or less) I will give up all pretense to being a Canadian Celebrity Handicapper. And you can quote me.

As if it mattered.

Bonus: William Shatner’s rendition of the immortal “I Am Canadian” speech:


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  1. collapse expand

    I agree — the Shat! He and Leonard *are* our international ambassadors.

    Us poor Canadians….we should use public funds to hire publicists for all of our celebrities. It would be as practical an idea as bankrupting a city for winter olympics with no snow.

  2. collapse expand

    I don’t think pickings are slim. There are plenty of famous Canucks to nominate.

    Evangeline Lilly (from Lost)?

    Director James Cameron?

    The late Peter Jennings?

    There are many more.

    But I think they’ll give the nod to an athlete.

  3. collapse expand

    My money’s on Betty Fox. CTV just interviewed Rollie Fox (9:05am) and the interviewer asked him, “Do you think it might be Betty?” Rollie replied, “I was asked to keep it a secret.” Sounds like it…

  4. collapse expand

    Doesn’t seem right that The Shat wasn’t there at all!

  5. collapse expand

    Peter Jennings alive couldn’t push Shatner off square one. (I take it whoever they did choose didn’t have the clout to make it into my newsfeed.) Maybe they offered and The Shat turned the gig down. Too parochial for one who stomps the galaxies.

  6. collapse expand

    I love the fact that it ended up being a semi-failed effort in Collectivism. Perfect!

    Vive le Canuckistan libre!

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