Next Year’s Nobel Peace Prize Goes to…Alpha Wives!

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When I first saw the title of this piece in the New York Times, I literally let out a faint, nerdy squeal of joy. Titled “More Men Marrying Wealthier Women,” I thought the article would be about men having a change of heart about the whole ‘I should earn more than my woman, huzzah!’ caveman bit, suddenly realizing how awesome it is to have a partner who earns lots of money (a concept women have long understood).

I was wrong. The article reports on new findings from the Pew Research Center that more men are marrying wealthier and better educated women. But the Times implies they’re not particularly happy about it. The opening scene:

Beagy Zielinski is a German-born 28-year-old stylist who moved to New York to study fashion in 1995 and stayed. Just before Christmas, she broke up with her blue-collar boyfriend, who repaired Navy ships.

“He was extremely insecure about my career and how successful I am,” Ms. Zielinski said.

Census data analyzed by Pew show that while in 1970, 28 percent of wives had husbands who were better educated, today that figure has dropped to 19 percent. Instead, now about a third of women are better educated than their husbands. Women are also contributing more and more to family finances; about one in five wives actually make more money than her husband.

The trend toward better educated and financially secure women is kind of like news of  Obama’s Nobel Peace prize. It’s great, but we’re going to find ways to complain about it anyway.

Sure enough the Times, and society, have reacted to these changes schizophrenically. While the article I’ve been telling you about frames the issue as a self-esteem problem for men–and the women who want to date them (one woman very politely tells the reporter “Money is tricky”)–another Times article highlights the “hidden” benefits of egalitarian marriages:

1) She’s not marrying you for your money. 2) One person doesn’t have to shoulder the entire financial burden of providing for a family. 3) American couples who share employment and housework responsibilities are less likely to divorce compared with couples where the man is the sole breadwinner (so much for Sandra Tsing Loh’s whiny rant, also in the NYTimes.)

It’s not all roses and sunshine, of course. For one thing, women are just as resistant to change as men. They want men to share the work at home, but complain when things aren’t done exactly how they want them.

Anyway–women work, are increasingly better compensated, and like it. Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize. Get over it. Or, better yet, thank your lucky stars, America.

- Liz