My 2009 Celebrity Walk of Shame — Part II
a.k.a. I Follow Celebrity News — Get Me Out of Here!
Part II of my list of the 2009 celebrity stories I can’t believe I spent time paying attention to.
I hadn’t really heard much about Taylor Swift before this squib in Vanity Fair in January. Adorable, but I am so far out of her target demographic it’s ridiculous. Generally, the only time I’m OK with feeling like the old weirdo is when discussing how cute Justin Timberlake is — and that’s really borderline. Since I’ve done a pretty good job of avoiding things like the Twilight saga, I felt as though my odds of making it out of this one alive were pretty good. But she’s charming, seems to be grounded and bright, wears clothing in public, her songs are absurdly catchy, and she showed remarkable poise after that knuckleheaded Kanye West incident.
I hate to say it but I broke up with David Letterman for Jon Stewart a long time ago. I still love Dave, but the odds of my being able to stay up past 11:30 are decreasing as I get older. We do remain friends with benefits, however, and while I’m impressed with how he dealt with the extortion story, I feel for his wife. And his former employees. And find the “Tiger Woods defense” utterly ridiculous.
I admit I started paying more attention when the good ship Gosselin ran aground, and I’ve got a soft spot for Barbara Walters mainly due to this fantastic book, but what’s kept me going back is the occasional trainwreck and — God help me — the fact that Elisabeth Hasselbeck doesn’t bug me even a tenth of what I thought she would. Which is a thought frightening enough to occasionally wake me out of a sound sleep.
Jon & Kate Gosselin
I’ve dined out on Jon and Kate Gosselin plenty of times this year, which is why I left the story about Jon’s New York apartment being ransacked alone. First, that’s a drag. Second, I can’t believe that Hailey Glassman’s that stupid. Third, I believe my first reaction was some kind of utterance about karma, which probably didn’t do my own karma any favors.
At this point, it’s all just too easy — though I won’t say “like shooting fish in a barrel,” because the guys on “Mythbusters” made that seem like a hassle. By no means is she a saint, or even all that sympathetic, yet my prediliction to side with her solely because of his wanky behavior is one more reason why the guy drives me bonkers. But show or no, it’s a safe bet that anyone who writes about or follows celebrities in any way is going to have to waste some brain power and some ink on these two yahoos next year.
At least the kids are OK.
Happy New Year, everybody. Here’s to turning the page to another year of celebrity gossip madness.