It’s the hypocrisy, Stupid — our favorite public admissions of guilt

Ah, the sex scandal. It’s far from an American tradition, though we sure do love to slather on the schadenfreude and roll around in it when it happens.

With his oddball confession about being the target of an extortion plot over his sexual relationships at work, David Letterman has sent chins wagging everywhere today. But while many may have a problem with what he did, Letterman has never held himself up as a paragon of virtue. (Good point by MP Nunan.) If not for the extortion plot, would anyone even care? I actually think that’s where the whole plot falls apart — do you really think you can cause $2 million worth of public embarrassment to a guy who makes a very good living from things like Will It Float? (incidentally, one of the most brilliant bits on the Late Show) and dropping 55-gallon water balloons from buildings?

But Dave’s performance last night got us thinking about the public confessions we remember and love — and not just because they make us feel better about ourselves. The notion of the public confession — long advocated by Bob Woodward — is so integral to our consciousness that it’s a key scenario in CBS’s The Good Wife. And what usually makes them interesting is the brazen hypocrisy behind them — which is why it’s usually left to politicians and religious figures to have to make them.

So while Dave has really raised the bar on how to make a public confession — he’s just the latest in a long line of televised admissions of guilt.

Here are some of the most memorable.

1. Mistakes in my marriage
Arkansas Gov. Bill Clinton and his wife, Hillary, talking with Steve Croft on “60 Minutes” in an attempt to salvage his 1992 presidential bid, admitting he’d made mistakes in his marriage.

2. No fancy way to say I have sinned
President Clinton admitting his sins and apologizing for his affair with a White House intern at the Sept. 11, 2008 White House Prayer Breakfast.

I don’t think there is a fancy way to say that I have sinned. It is important to me that everybody who has been hurt know that the sorrow I feel is genuine — first and most important, my family, also my friends, my staff, my Cabinet, Monica Lewinsky and her family, and the American people.

I have asked all for their forgiveness. But I believe that to be forgiven, more than sorrow is required. At least two more things: First, genuine repentance, a determination to change and to repair breaches of my own making. I have repented.

Second, what my Bible calls a broken spirit. An understanding that I must have God’s help to be the person that I want to be. A willingness to give the very forgiveness I seek.

A renunciation of the pride and the anger, which cloud judgment, lead people to excuse and compare and to blame and complain.

via Transcript: Clinton speaks to prayer breakfast – September 11, 1998.

3.  I apologize to the public, whom I promised better
New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer offers up an extremely straightforward and contrite apology after it was revealed that he was spending time with prostitutes.

4. It began very innocently
South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford finally abandons his whole “Appalachian Trail” story and admits he was having an affair with a woman in Buenos Aires.

5. My truth is that I am a gay American
New Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevey resigns his office and admits to having an adulterous affair with a man — one of his top aides.

6. I am not gay; I never have been gay
Sen. Larry Craig of Idaho holds a press conference to apologize — not for any conduct to which he pleaded guilty, but for pleading guilty to inappropriate conduct in an effort to make it all go away.

7. I was wrong, and I am responsible
Former Senator and vice presidential candidate John Edwards admits he had an affair with a campaign worker to ABC’s Bob Woodruff on Nightline. Notice that what’s missing is an actual full accounting of what went down with the former campaign worker and the baby — particularly given the allegations in his former aide’s book. Spit it out, already.

8. I have sinned against you, my Lord
Televangelist Jimmy Swaggart admits to an unspecified sin in 1988 after the story broke of his involvement with a prostitute.

9. Money, corruption and women
Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker tell their side of the story — about the PTL fundraising scandals at least — to Ted Koppel on ABC’s “Nightline” in 1987.

What did I miss? Let me know in the comments section…