I have a confession. I’ve never seen more than a few episodes of the first season of “Lost.” Or maybe the second — whichever one it was when they found the Dharma Initiative logo and I thought it was nice that they were throwing a little love to Jenna Elfman. I have no real explanation for it. In fact, I was an ABC employee when the show began, and I was deeply grateful that the network had found its way back to prime-time drama and was no longer quite so dependent on Regis Philbin. My TV dance card was full, or my attention span was limited; it’s the same reason I never got into “Deadwood” or, heaven help me, “The Wire,” to the chagrin of my poor husband. I’m waiting for one good bout of H1N1 to ground me so I can watch all of the seasons in a row.

I did keep trying to watch — that is, until Evangeline Lilly showed up on the Golden Globes red carpet in 2007 and whined to Ryan Seacrest about how much she hated fame.

Seriously. Seriously? You have a great job, you’re working for J.J. Abrams, and you’re based in Hawaii. You’re lucky to be on a successful show. And it’s not like you’re doing summer stock; it’s network television. You know that if the thing blows up, you’re going to be famous. You signed on for this gig. That’s just bad form.

There was a story going around last February that Lilly had been auditioning for pilots — which her reps (sort of) knocked down. Which probably got the “Lost” fanatics in a tizzy — I didn’t pay that much attention. And now, with the final season set to begin, the ever-cheerful Lilly is back with talk that she may quit acting and will go and do charity work in Rwanda. If that’s true, great. But they probably don’t have Sangria Thursdays there.

Lilly’s co-star Matthew Fox has joined the sourpuss parade, telling Live magazine (of the Mail UK) that he’s “thrilled ‘Lost’ is over” because he’s spent enough time playing the same character. He added, to Us Weekly, that he’s quitting TV after the series goes off the air. While I get that TV can be a grind, and two six-year shows in a career can lock you into something, again, come on. Any sane person would have a hard time mustering a reaction not along the lines of, “Well, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”

Mostly, I’m confused by the PR. It seems like a tough needle to thread to usher in your highly anticipated final season with stories about how two of your leads can’t wait for it to be over.  Jorge Garcia was lovely, gracious, and level-headed about his tenure on the hit show, and about how his life has changed since it all started. Wouldn’t that seem like the more logical storyline? Or am I just not edgy enough?

There’s a great scene in “Broadcast News” in which William Hurt, after getting his big break at the network, asks Albert  Brooks, “What do you do when your real life exceeds your dreams?”

Brooks’ response holds true both for him and for successful, grumpy actors on a hit show who can’t seem to be excited about it.

“Keep it to yourself.”

Gratuitous photo of Best Actor nominee George Clooney. Image by Getty Images via Daylife

The nominations for the 82nd Annual Academy Awards were announced this morning — and I’d say it’s the day when makeup artists really earn their keep (especially in HD), but since it was Anne Hathaway with her immortally perfect skin (yes, I’m jealous) joining Academy President Tom Sherak at the announcement, they probably didn’t have that hard a day.

James Cameron’s “Avatar” and Kathryn Bigelow’s “The Hurt Locker” scored big with nine nominations each — and unless my film history is wrong (someone please correct me if it is), this marks the first time that ex-spouses are going head-to-head in the Best Director and Best Picture category. It’s doubly cool that they get along and publicly support one another’s work. Also interesting to note that while “Avatar” shone in the technical awards, it didn’t score any acting noms (unlike “Titanic,” where Kkate Winslet and Gloria Stuart were nominated), but “The Hurt Locker” did, with Jeremy Renner getting the nod for Best Actor.

Quentin Tarantino’s incredibly satisfying Nazi revenge “Inglourious Basterds” came up with eight nominations, and Jason Reitman’s “Up in the Air” scored six nominations.

Among the nominees:

Best Picture: “Avatar”; “The Blind Side”; “District 9″; “An Education”; “The Hurt Locker”; “Inglourious Basterds”; “Precious”; “A Serious Man”; “Up’; and “Up in the Air”

Best Director: James Cameron, “Avatar”; Kathryn Bigelow, “The Hurt Locker”; Quentin Tarantino, “Inglourious Basterds”; Lee Daniels, “Precious”; Jason Reitman, “Up in the Air”

Best Actor: Jeff Bridges, “Crazy Heart”; George Clooney, “Up in the Air”; Colin Firth, “A Single Man”; Morgan Freeman, “Invictus”; Jeremy Renner, “The Hurt Locker”

Best Actress: Sandra Bullock, “The Blind Side”; Helen Mirren, “The Last Station”; Carey Mulligan, “An Education”; Gabourey Sidibe, “Precious”; Meryl Streep, “Julie & Julia”

Best Supporting Actor: Matt Damon, “Invictus”; Woody Harrelson, “The Messenger”; Christopher Plummer, “The Last Station”; Stanley Tucci, “The Lovely Bones”; Christop Waltz, “Inglourious Basterds”

Best Supporting Actress: Penelope Cruz, “Nine”; Very Farmiga, “Up in the Air”; Maggie Gyllenhaal, “Crazy Heart”; Anna Kendrick, “Up in the Air”; Mo’Nique, “Precious”

Best Animated Feature: “Coraline”; “Fantastic Mr. Fox”; “The Princess and the Frog”; “The Secret of Kells”; “Up”

Best Original Screenplay: Mark Boal, “The Hurt Locker”; Quentin Tarantino, “Inglourious Basterds”; Alessandro Camon and Oren Moverman, “The Messenger”; Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, “A Serious Man”; Bob Peterson, Pete Docter (Story by Pete Docter, Bob Peterson, Tom McCarthy), “Up”

Best Adapted Screenplay: Neil Blomkamp and Teri Tatchell, “District 9″; Nick Hornby, “An Education”; Jesse Armstrong, Simon Blackwell, Armando Iannucci, Tony Roche, “In the Loop”; Geoffrey Fletcher, “Precious”; Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner, “Up in the Air”

Now the handicapping really begins in earnest, even though the campaigns have been going on for a while. Definitely some tough categories here — Sandra Bullock’s on a hot streak, but I wonder if a groundswell for Gabourey Sidibe in “Precious” will threaten to clip her in the end zone (yeah, I can come up with a sports metaphor when I need to). Sidibe’s performance in the film, plus her absolute adorableness in her public appearances make her a contender without question. Though if Carey Mulligan came away triumphant because of a split vote, I wouldn’t be sad — she was amazing in “An Education.”

I’m not one for offering picks — my record in Oscar pools isn’t one to be proud of — I think it could be Jeff Bridges’ year for his phenomenal turn in “Crazy Heart.” “Up in the Air” could have peaked too early with its onslaught of critics awards at the end of 2009. But everyone loves a Clooney (see above), and “Crazy Heart” might not yet have gotten a wide enough audience.

Surprising: Beyond art direction, costume, and makeup, no recognition for “The Young Victoria.” And how exciting that Nick Hornby scored a nomination for his — first — screenplay for “An Education.” And no acting nod for Robert Downey Jr. in “Sherlock Holmes.”

Yesterday my True/Slant colleague Jeremy Helligar offered up his Oscar predictions (which turned out to be eerily prescient). What do you think? Did anyone get the shaft?  Do you think Oscar’s got some upsets up its sleeve this year?

Every goodwill press tour has its designated stops. Want to own up do behaving badly in your marriage or corporate malfeasance? That’s a “60 Minutes” moment. Jon Stewart has become the venue for politicians to announce their candidacy for president (yeah, thanks for that whole John Edwards thing, Stewart). And if you want to “set the record straight” and “tell your side of the story,” sit down with Oprah.

Which is what Jay Leno did today. Except that after watching it I can’t quite put my finger on what I learned that I didn’t know before.

If you haven’t had a chance to watch, Maureen Ryan, a.k.a. The Watcher at the Chicago Tribune has the definitive account of the interview.

It couldn’t have been an easy one to sit for, and although Oprah was a pretty sympathetic interrogator, she sure didn’t shy away from asking some uncomfortable questions. And to Leno’s credit, he didn’t flinch from being asked.

And I guess that’s part of what didn’t ring true. While he’s made a point of saying that he doesn’t wear his emotions on his sleeve, Leno’s calmness struck me as odd. There was an utter lack of emotional register as he told Oprah he didn’t even consider that he was, in her words, “taking away Conan’s dream” by accepting NBC’s plan to return him to helming “The Tonight Show.”

Now, everyone involved is a grown-up, and Leno is unquestionably right that it all came down to numbers. Ratings were off, plain and simple. But while he admitted that his show failed and noted that Conan O’Brien’s “Tonight Show” had fallen off markedly in the ratings, he utterly failed to make the connection between the two. The affiliates kicked up a lot of dust about money lost, but their problem was with the fact that Leno as a lead-in to their 11 p.m. newscasts just didn’t work. His 10 p.m. show was killing their ratings, which in turn hurt the lead-in for CoCo’s late-night program.

It’s not the only reason. Conan’s ratings were off from the time he went on the air as host of the “Tonight Show,” even before Leno’s prime-time show premiered. But in my mind, *not* making the connection between rough ratings at 10 p.m. and the fall-off at 11:35 is just as erroneous as connecting not getting flowers on Secretaries’ Day to a vengeful motive and sexual harrassment.

Leno’s generally a likable enough guy who’s gotten a lot of bad press over the past few weeks, and he’s clearly not the bad guy in this scenario. That title falls to some ham-handed decision-making motivated by panic, and an even dicier approach to the public fallout. But saying that walking away after you were heartbroken over being fired twice would be the selfish move just doesn’t make any sense. As Oprah pointed out, more than once, he could’ve negotiated a package for the 170 people who work for him and walked away. Whether or not it’s actually how he feels, the way it came off was: (1) NBC made a decision to replace Leno, which rightfully bewildered him and made him sad; (2) he tried to be gracious about it, down to the “white lie” about retiring (don’t even get me started on how it would have been “a lot of work” to move to another network — boo hoo); (3) when it came time to go, he was tops in the ratings, and having to leave pissed him off. So of course he jumped at the chance to take the gig back when it was offered — after Conan vetoed the 12:05 idea.

Some clips:

This whole business started because the network wanted to keep both Leno and Conan. But they way it handled things ultimately hurt everyone involved — nobody and nothing came away unscathed. And now Leno returns as damaged goods to his damaged dream job. My True/Slant colleague Christopher Roy Correa thinks Leno hurt himself today. I don’t think it was a disaster. I’m not sure he did himself any favors, but compared to the network brass, he came out smelling like a rose.

Image via Wikipedia

So today I stopped by Us Weekly and came across this story.

In case you didn’t click on it, here’s the headline: Exclusive: Oops! Jessica Simpson Farts During Business Meeting

Yeah, you read that right.

Sweet mother of Beelzebub. I’m all for reading embarrassing, non-important, downright nonsense about celebrities, but this rises to new heights — or sinks to new lows? — in terms of celebrity non-stories. I mean, if Us Weekly wrote about every business meeting that was … interrupted, I’m sure they’d never write about anything else.  And then I’d never know that Jon Hamm has shaved his beard.

Way to stay Klassy, Us.

I have been watching the hype surrounding Heidi Montag’s transformation from one-of-a-thousand-Hollywood hotties to one-of-a-million Hollywood blow-up dolls, most of the time just shaking my head in amazement. As a rule I tend to find the shameless fame campaign of Heidi and her husband, Spencer Pratt, nauseating and pathologically calculated. But at least based on their drivel-filled book, it’s clear that they get how to play the game. They may even have something of a sense of humor about it, but if either of them possesses one, there’s not a lot of evidence to support it. More than once I’ve ranted that they’re everything that’s wrong with our obsession with celebrity (not that there’s much right with it), and wouldn’t we all be so much better off if they — really, Spencer — just went away.

But you might want to get out of the way of the oncoming lightning bolt and bundle up because hell’s freezing over. The apocalypse is upon us, because based on this People.com story, I agree with Pratt. He didn’t want her to have the surger(ies), he said.

“Anytime I hinted that it might be a little much or if I just asked if she was sure, I even felt like I was crossing lines,” he told PEOPLE. “I’m not in charge of what she does with any part of her body. I’m her husband – not her owner.”

He’s right. And because of that, he’s the one who’s got to look over at his 23-year-old wife and see a face practically unrecognizable from the one she was wearing when they married — not to mention when they met. (I am, too, but am relying on Olay products to keep me somewhat familiar to my husband.)

Montag’s mother is also reportedly horrified by the procedures her daughter underwent. This is a woman who, based on my limited viewing of “The Hills,” ended up supporting her daughter’s marriage though she appeared to loathe her new son-in-law. She seems willing to try to go with the flow and get along  so her kid can be happy.

After seeing Montag’s comments about how beauty really comes from within (oy — an actress she’s not) and watching the “Good Morning America” interview where she said she spent all of her savings on producing her new album (fat lot of good that did her), it occurred to me what’s missing in this whole mess. She’s spent a lot of time saying that it’s her body and her life and she needs to feel comfortable as a woman — and that’s true. But never in any of these conversations — not in the “before” video where she explains why she wanted the surgery or in the “after” video where she shows it off — does she look happy. In fact, she barely cracks a smile.

Maybe she was nervous. Maybe the procedures have made it tough to manage a grin. Maybe she got some media training where she was told that if she didn’t seem serious about this, people would think she was nuts. But I have to think that a person who was genuinely psyched about getting work done to feel better about herself could at least conjure a giggle. I’m not all that concerned about the “message to young girls” that this sends. The smart ones can see through this. If she really is happy, then rock on. But it’s mortifying to watch someone make herself into an unhappy prisoner of the mold she thinks she has to fit to achieve the fame — for nothing — that she craves.

My True/Slant colleague Marjie Killeen has a great look at the physiological reasons behind the push to look a certain way.

And to throw in something that matters, whether of not you’re planning to watch the Hope for Haiti telethon tonight, please give.