You hate Comic Sans? Well, I hate you! So there
Friday morning I arose to the bracing news that the LeBron James controversy had spawned a brand new controversy even more ridiculous than the original controversy (which, if I understand it correctly, had something to do with a basketball player changing teams).
The new controversy is about—are you ready for this? I’m not sure I am—a font.
A font called Comic Sans.
It seems the owner of James’ old team, the Cleveland Cavaliers, one Dan Gilbert, had written on the team’s website a choleric screed accusing James of betrayal, cowardice, narcissism and being not nice.
That doesn’t matter. What matters is he wrote it in Comic Sans.
Twitter and Facebook went wild. Turns out there are multitudes of people who have deeply felt opinions on Comic Sans. Basically, they despise it. Helvetica they don’t mind. Garamond Italic Condensed gets them only mildly perturbed. But Comic Sans makes them insane. They want to kill Comic Sans.
A few sample screams from Twitter:
LawrenceAugust: Writing a serious attack on someone in Comic Sans is like flipping someone off with your pinky.
louiscalade: stop using COMIC SANS. its one of the UGLIEST UGLIEST FONTS EVER. an eyesore. a design disaster.
jsmooth995: nobody who posts official statements in Comic Sans MS should be running an NBA team
As you can see, there are varying degrees of Comic Sans hatred. The fontamentalists find it despicable and loathsome no matter how it is used. Just a total disgrace. Others merely find it inappropriately frivolous for messages considered very serious, such as, apparently, those involving basketball.
There is even a website called Ban Comic Sans. I’m sure I’ll get around to reading it some day in the very near future.
In the meantime, I’d just like to say that Comic Sans is fine. It’s sansational. It’s a funny font. (The creator, Microsoft designer Vincent Connare, says he based it on comic-book lettering) What could be bad about a font that’s funny? I say we need more funny fonts, not fewer, fonts that make the populace giggle instead of going all pompous and serif-conscious on us. Fonts that don’t have to bend forward to get their comic effects.
I’d also like to say I’m disappointed that when Dan Gilbert was attacked for his outrageous font choice, he didn’t just reply, “Hey, I was being cavalier.” But what can you expect from a businessman?
Yesterday, I never heard of Comic Sans. But now I’m its greatest defender. I am the Joan of Arc of Comic Sans. I’m going to make Comic Sans the standard font for all my documents, including codicils to my will and declarations of war against foreign countries.
Now if I could only figure out a way to get this damn post into Comic Sans.