Now that I can call you a Nazi, I feel a whole lot better

Image by malias via Flickr

One thing I’ve got to hand Glenn Beck and the Tea Party crowd: They’re making it OK to call someone you disagree with a Nazi.

This is a restriction I’ve chafed under for a long time.

Previously, whenever I felt like yelling “Nazi” (which I frequently do) I’d be stopped short by the realization that a friend or acquaintance would blow the whistle and yell, “Godwin’s Law violation! Ten-yard penalty!”

Godwin’s Law, as you may know, is best misstated as follows: In any political argument, the first person to say “Nazi” loses.

It’s based on the quaint notion that reasonable, civilized people can disagree without resorting to the foulest, most vile imprecations available.

Thank heavens that’s done with.

I once called Dick Cheney a fascist, though not to his face. Well, sort of; I mean his face was on my TV set at the time. The Nazis were fascists—I don’t think even an actual Nazi would dispute that–but somehow “fascist” doesn’t carry the zing of “Nazi.” A lot of people, Glenn Beck included, don’t even know what a fascist is.

If you’re a liberal like me, even when you cry “fascist,” the chances are you’ve done some research, you’ve looked up the 12 or 15 characteristics that identify fascism and you’ve noted that Dick Cheney embodies at least seven or eight of them. We are responsible people, we liberals, even when we malign.

Whereas Glenn Beck clearly has no idea what he’s talking about when he throws around either epithet and I’m sure you may add to the list socialist, communist and Bolshevik, a lovely word you never hear anymore.

The other day Glenn located Nazis in, of all places, America’s Christian churches. He said if you’re in church and you hear the phrase “social justice,” it’s a sure sign of Nazi or Communist inclinations.

Glenn thinks Nazis and Communists are the same thing, you see. Also liberals.

He told his TV audience (sorry, this isn’t easy to follow):

Both the communists, who are on the left — they say — you know, these are communists. And the Nazis are on the right, that’s what people say. But they both subscribed to one philosophy, and they flew one banner. One had the hammer and sickle; the other was a swastika. But on each banner read the words, here in America, of this — ’social justice.’ They talked about economic justice, rights of the workers, redistribution of wealth, and surprisingly — I love this — democracy.

Ironclad logic, eh? The Nazis espoused democracy (Actually, I think they used to ridicule democracy but let that pass) so by this logic, anyone else espousing democracy must be a Nazi too.

Did you know that the Nazis were big boosters of sports and athletics? Oh, yes, it’s true. So if you’re a fan of the Boston Red Sox or you go to the gym frequently, I’m afraid I’m going to have to label you a Nazi, you Nazi.

And do you have a gray suit? Well, the Wehrmacht wore gray, you fucking Nazi war criminal. You sadistic concentration-camp guard. You mass murderer. You should be ashamed of yourself.

You’re probably a terrorist, too.