Will Obama win a second Nobel Peace Prize?

He won. Imagine! (Image via Wikipedia)

If you were among those puzzled by the news that President Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize last year, you’re probably even more puzzled by the news that he’s been nominated again this year.

Also among the 235 individuals and organizations nominated is the Internet.

I know a lot of you are thinking, “What?”

Me too. So to get the lowdown on what’s up, I decided to interview the President. Once the derisive laughter from Rahm Emanuel’s office had faded away, I decided to interview the Internet.

I caught up with the Internet as the ever busy communications giant was rushing about disseminating news, information, images, maps, rumors, propaganda and hoaxes to billions of clients all over the world. It was kind enough to grant me this interview:

LG: Congratulations on being nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize.

INT: thnx. mks me fl vry humble, u no?

LG: In all honesty, I wasn’t aware that you’d advanced world peace this year.

INT: lol! U got 2 b kidng. I stoppd 6 wars frm startng!

LG: Really? How did you do that?

INT: Porn! Millions of guys whod b killg, rapng & pillagng r home all day doing porn insted. Thnk of lives I savd!

LG: I never thought of that. How about your fellow nominee, President Obama? Can you shed any light on that choice?

INT: jafm.

LG: jafm?

INT: Just a fuckin’ minute. Chekng Wpedia.

LG: All right.

INT: OK, BHO stopd war tween Uruguay & Paraguay.

LG: I had no idea.

INT: Prez of U & prez of P sent Xmas gifts 2 Sasha & Malia. Both kids wantd P toy, not U toy. Fite startd. BHO stepd in, stopd hostilities, made ‘em share.

LG: But that wasn’t a fight between Uruguay and Paraguay, it was between Sasha and Malia.

INT: It culdv spred if Uru herd. But BHO clampd dwn on media, hushd it up.

LG: Fascinating. So who do you think will win the prize this year?

INT: Fun Fact: Hitler, Stalin, Mussolini all nomintd in past. Henry Kissinger actually 1.

LG: Interesting but who do you think will win this year?

INT: Whom! Odds r some 1 u nvr herd of.

LG: You mean like Martii Ahtasaari of Finland in 2008 or Muhammad Yunus of Bangladesh in 2006?

INT: Xctly.

LG: Will you be disappointed if you don’t win?

INT: Nope. Nt care.  By 2016, I b running entire wrld. Imho.