Who is the world’s best Jew?
Image via Wikipedia
That would have to be the Orthodox billionaire, Ron Perelman, if there’s any truth at all to a recent story in the NY Observer. (Sue them, not me, Ron)
Not content with the array of world-class, all-star shuls scattered over his swanky nabe, Perelman, the Solomon of his generation, built his own sacred Upper East Side temple.
Beth Perelman nestles in the garden between his back-to- back Upper East Side townhouses, one fronting on 62nd Street, the other on 63rd.
It gets better.
Ron has his own minyan.
I am not kidding. He has his own private minyan. According to the Observer, “He takes nine Jewish men with him wherever he goes, the French Riviera or East Hampton.”
Which means that somewhere there are nine guys, all duly circumcised and bar-mitzvahed, sitting around, their yarmulkes and talleses, oops, sorry, kippot and tallit, doubtless ironed and packed in wheelie bags, awaiting the call of the shofar ring tone.
Hark! Cometh a text!
ron feeling urge 2 knock off a birkat ha-gomel. Maybe a kaddish if he has a sec between big deals, for ron is some macher. Come hither, O ye rental prayer posse, come & daven. Ye be summoned.
On the high holy days, Ron’s lady of the moment, not Ellen Barkin any more, I don’t know who, comes and sits upstairs alone in the balcony section and falls asleep…
No, sorry, I’m getting carried away here. I’m making things up again. Someone stop me before I bring Yahweh into the picture to give Ron an ironic blessing before turning him into a gigantic matzoh ball which He then feeds to the poor.
Must be a dybbuk got into my kop.
Questions for investigative reporters to pursue: Can anyone (Jewish male, of course) apply to be an RP minyan minion? Is there a waiting list? Does it pay? How about backup minyan minion? Do you have to really pray or can you just sit there mumbling and nodding now and then? Do you get health insurance? Is there a rabbi? A cantor? Are refreshments served after the service? Are they glatt kosher? Why is this night different from all other nights?
(Thanks to Carole Stuart for sending me the Observer story)
Post Your Comment
You must be logged in to post a comment
T/S Members
Log in with your True/Slant account.
Umm, is this colyum anti-cementic?
i.e., anti-cementic, in the sense that without re-bar, lost tribes will sense this is rebarbative columnizing, sans gemütlichkeit-heit-ness.
Why is this any different (or shocking) than any given wealthy person donating millions to their alma mater to build a new school building or to a hospital to build a new wing? As for the minyan, so what? I’ve seen Hollywood actors with bigger entourages.
Perelman addresses the congregation and says, “Next to God, I’m nothing!”
A member of his posse stands up and says, “Next to God, I, too, am nothing.”
Perelman turns his face heavenward and says, “Look who thinks he’s nothing.”